Tinted Lenses: Julian

I had my last sip of coffee today. The fresh taste of the bitter beans coated in ungodly amounts of syrup pumps and spoonfuls of sugar tasted like ash in my mouth. It was surprising really. I had started everything just like normal, getting up and getting ready for work, letting my dog out of the bedroom to get some water before the morning walk, and then making myself a cup of coffee with my tiny little single-cup coffee machine that pumped out burnt coffee like nobody's business.

It was... like usual, or- almost so, until the fucking drink hit my lips.

I blinked, my nose burning from the taste of it going up it because I couldn't choke it back down. My eyes burned, sugar in my nose didn't help, and the raw heat from throwing up the rest of it crumbled my hopes of a good morning along with the spill of the drink all across my tiled kitchen floor and into my shitty spent carpet, which was now a deeper shade of tan in some places.

"Fuck!"

I gave myself a little rouse to try to jostle back to my senses, smearing my lips with the open palm of my hand before shoving my mouth against arm as I began licking it as if it would rub off the taste. "Fuck!" I screamed again, running my hand over my tongue. "Fuck!" It was awful! The acidic burn of the coffee lingered in ways that I'd never experienced before and I started to panic, trying to get rid of it.

I didn't know what was wrong, but the moment my head swiveled around, I met my father's eyes and he leaned against the cabinet casually.

"What are you doing?"

"I-" I started, trying to give out an excuse. "I was just doing my usual morning!" I stammered out.

"Julian, relax. It's not an interrogation," Dean remarked smoothly. He bent down to pick up the cup, inspecting the situation. "You're just making a lot of noise, and I came out to investigate."

"I wasn't trying to wake you up! I just was drinking and suddenly my coffee tasted like shit! I didn't mean to fucking throw it. It was-"

Dean's shoulders fell as he relaxed. "That's because you can't do that anymore."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "What? No. It- That fast?" When my dad didn't answer, my hands fell to my sides in defeat. "Well- Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"Call in for work," Dean said calmly.

"No."

"Julian," Dean said, looking up at him steadily.

He stared at me with that calmness he had that mom and I did not. It unnerved me because I knew he was saying so out of some rationale beyond me.

My gaze flicked away briefly from him, but when I looked back at him, he rose up to his feet. "Don't argue, just call in for work." he said firmly, though his tone held little to no aggression to it. My dad wasn't the aggressive type. "We can figure something out, but you're not going to do it today. You're just going to end up getting in an accident or worse."

I could see the decisiveness in my father's eyes. The kind that I didn't have enough gusto to muscle up against. I wished I did, but he always won out on being more stubborn than me in ways that baffled me. "Dammit, this sucks," I grumbled under my breath.

"It just means we have to talk a little. Go back over how this works," Dean said. He put the cup in the sink before grabbing a few paper towels. "Why don't you go grab the mop, and after we clean this up you can sit down. Maybe give your dog some attention."

I begrudgingly complied, shifting my gaze away from him. This wasn't where I wanted to be, but it was where I was. My hands grappled for the dispenser, ripping the roll until it spat out probably more than my mom would have thought was necessary to throw it down on the floor. "I still think it's stupid," I breathed. When my dad didn't answer, I sighed. Tonight, I was going to be going over the ground rules that I wasn't sure I wanted to take on.

One, no more day-walking.

Two, no more regular foods. The idea that it would take time to build a tolerance into blood-infused foods sucked, but I was adamant to have my way. Even if my mom said that the blood packs were going to taste a lot shittier than than the real deal.

I was going to get my coffee one way or the other. Or, at least, I hoped I would. It was the closest thing to the energy drinks I was allowed anymore since I had binged those until I got cut off.

My head turned the side, my eyes closing as I shook my head slowly. Man, today was going to really suck.