The Men Who Sit to Pee

The Men Who Sit to Pee

November 13, 2024

Robert’s parent’s home is in Schenectady, New York (42.81420N, 73.93960W). Robert lives (now) in the basement, next to the hot water heater, across from the furnace. His parents rent out his old room to two day laborers (Robert calls them losers) who pay their rent weekly. His friends used to come over for sleep-overs and homework. Now, they arrive via Zoom. They each say they are saving the planet by not driving. In reality, they are saving their own lives by not walking.

Two miles is too far for the average 30 year old mouth breather.

Besides, his parent’s social security check does not purchase the food it used to. Robert’s social security disability check could, but he has his eyes on a new game console by Christmas.

On tonight’s agenda, what to do about those who do not think as Robert (or his group) do. Whatever caused this, must be stopped. Whoever is responsible, must be crushed. The cost of everything keeps increasing and that needs to end.

In the end, the world must know what Robert knows. There must be a reckoning to set things straight. People need to know what needs to be done. Robert will begin with his group, then the county, then the state. There is too much at stake not to understand. There is too little time not to begin.

With his narrative set, Robert waited for each of his group (should be called a cabal) to make his presence known on Zoom.

It was now or never.

Within 20 seconds, Robert opted for never.

The big to-do within his group was the announcement of a new generation AMD chip that consumed twice the previous power, but leading to four times the speed. It did not require overclocking. It did not require a subscription service. This chip would usher in the next generation of games and gamers.

The group tore through their 64 ounce sodas and Hot Pockets with relish. They ignored Robert. They forgot he existed. They told stories of past conquests with previous systems, despite their flaws. Robert heard not one word about the economy or those responsible. For the first time, Robert viewed his friends as both ignorant and apathetic. He sat slack jawed during the encounter.

Robert attempted to remain calm. He counted to three before he acted. He inhaled prior to dispatching a guttural scream designed to silence all detractors.

But, no one ever heard it. Robert heard another speak of a price drop for those who knew the code. This alone silenced the group. This silenced Robert. So much so, Robert fell from his leadership position among his peers.

He became devastated, then elated. Despite the horrors of government, the people in positions of power, and the deeds they do, Robert had a new plan, involving a new processor, possibly a new gaming system, for the holidays.

With all of that, he would never have to leave the basement ever again.

Robert’s parents sat at the kitchen table deciding which of them would go back to work to pay for the lights and the heat. The experts predict a harsh winter this year. Their borders opted not to extend their lease another year. Their cash ran thin and would have to be stretched again.

They should have downsized, 12 years ago, to that condo in Central Florida.

It was always warm there.

And these condos aren’t built with basements.