Permanent furlough from humanity

(or how twittering tumblr wrought salvation)

PREFACE TO BODY:

I. Awaiting modified sentence – habeas corpus writ

A somber mood prevailed amidst the cloistered silence

haunting spectrum imposed from perfidious provenance

Fenced within by holy hedgerow rubric –

Judeo-Christian Zann

countenance of all in mourning wan

soon halen mortician van

no way to dodge fiat decreeing death sentence

duration equivalent to infinite time span

for this rambling man

who felt unready to kick the can

on account of violating ban

against abominable illegal mandate

with no way to commute death sentence of late

for simple act of voicing opinion Church doth hate

against exist of heavenly gate

of hellish underworld despite fate

religious opiate decreeing penance berate

spurious pedagogical poetic rant

not the ravings of some half mad lunatic doth pant

carefully plotted recitation that springs osculant

from combined teachings of Kant

and jolly old Saint Nick Xmas chant

charges trumped up per this average don rhyme

purportedly blaspheming judeo-christian paradigm

upending blind faith equated with hill of beans mime

ming dogma erected complex edifices epitomized via grime

sweat and tears from slave labor paid less than a dime

a day, where usurpation of freedom won, a Pyrrhic crime

until outspoken spokespersons

risked life and limb rife

to invalidate the existence

of supreme deity who created life

whether for extra credit or perhaps on a whim

Adam from whose rib cage without anesthesia

but razor sharp knife

sported eve with a physique quite pleasing and trim

but rather than get lost in the Garden of Eden myth

final seconds of existence tick away

without intent to recant statements

solely acceptable to b’ni brith

prompting last words of mine as oye vay

with no regrets -

deeming heart of religion flimsy as pith

thing in the wind or house of cards

vulnerable to blow away

due to congenital psychological affliction

Hobgoblins joined human league

averse plaintive benediction

thence, this with mine jetblue

skinny legs like a chicken

his (mein kampf) got dealt mortal

(who gives a hoot) blowfish

disintegrated by mailer daemons usurped dereliction

whereby sanity given eviction in subsequent fiction

feeble attempts evoke stricken gumption

where nihilistic thoughts wreak humiliation

upon prepubescent initiation

whereby the antithesis of jubilation

kept author like a trapped

mouse in a cat protected kitchen

where no cheeses cur heist could rectify or bring libation.

Noah idea what possessed to address heretic camouflage

earthlinked live nada so hotmail to splutter so much persiflage.

Ye might well categorize the palaver as pure llama heaped dung attempting to sneak into yar consciousness as some esoteric badinage aspiring to convey that this doodler with words adroit with the english language.

bah humbug

down the gullet went lethal drug

filled consciousness with mental fug

e'en without any farewell hug

after smacking lips

polished off deadly drink from mug.

Long fostered freedom last attained to exit silently this terrestrial real estate oblate spheroid during hulu heralded century21, which brought eternal senescent deliverance.

Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and goodwill toward men/women served as a mere pretense extant the global arcade.

Nothing boot charade, enfilade (albeit with limp poetic/prosaic pugnacious), facade, gilded hilariously inside jackass.

Ever since he did stop kick king lifelessly, his noggin oddly plunges quietly resting as a deceased shutter ring fly tonight under vaporous wisps.

THE FINAL FRONTIER – POST CONSCIOUSNESS

II. DIE CAST

The following disquisition initially describes emotions prior to experiencing corporeal death, yet unbeknownst to this skeptical atheist, his anticipatory anxiety stalwart like a soldier valiantly bidding adieu to this Earthly terrestrial sphere, whence intractable denial of life after death found such premise turned upside down.

Whence moment thine instant karma expired a coterie of medical professionals henceforth determined thine body to be dead.

This code blue bone chilling cold winter day appeared to indicate this wordsmith forever dormant, since no vital signs showed any response, though the examination conducted comprised a rather cursory assessment.

The next of kin bereaved the absence of life evidenced by that last whispery dying and/or living breath, which found rigor mortis the indubitable signature of the grim reaper.

Though visibly lifeless, thine aura entered a miasma constituting a fifth dimension, which primed thine soul.

Prudent outlook of mine crafted Netzero agnostic belief in the hereafter (this from formative years bing steep pulled within Unitarian faith) immediately undermined via sprinting spirits of deceased.

Within a fingerhut gilt hula hoop ring (cosmic programmed Onstar map quest force field) boarded avast progressive throng (i.e. amidst a fluted mist throve ethereal, kindling spirits swirling in Plenti full Orbitz.

No more evidence of that once longhaired pencil necked geek, who fostered nonestablishmentarian outlook among brother and sister beatniks (whereby said generic dork happened to be one among many capitalone dishabille dressed Dharma bums, who congregated at 724 West Railroad Avenue, Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania).

Perpetually preserved amidst an ethereal sphere (whereby witches and warlocks guarded immaterial discernible willowy wisps), twas here, within which hallowed dead souls found, scythe lent death stillness, and an eternal asylum.

or so death warrant decreed left

troubadour entombed, but ’lo dance Clearwater Revival did BuzzFeed heft

rejuvenation where ghost of this scrivener premature pronounced bereft

of Linkedin to devilish witch mockery,

who playfully heckled, mocked, and teased

where lovely bones ceremoniously lowered into graveyard cleft.

II. Buried Alive

guess if this might be fiction or fact

both iz the ant sir madam since existence

then reincarnated we git packed

i.e. this faceless book earthworm member

joined the rank n file of his slimy brethren n cistern

when a mortal male ceased to live one December.

The undertaker drew a deep breath.

He exhaled little billows of cold air while awaiting the Hearst supposedly carrying mine lifeless and limp body except for my penis, which apparently remained erect as if induced with a heavy dose of Viagra, or most likely due to physiological systemic breakdown.

Prior to death special pains taken to select an ideal piloted kamikaze pilot plot.

A mossy glen with a mill by the pond of boyhood swimming hole served like the ideal welcome mat for the return of this native son long gone from his family estate of Glen Elm.

Death struck unexpectedly while dodging madding crowd jostling to get a glimpse of this renown author where fame seemed destined to track him down.

As the advocate of countless essays on inalienable rights for all creatures large and small, no pause from the hounding local populace offered peace of mind, only clapping paws from canine corps.

Until now!

The prospect of dying never scared this non-believer.

Cessation of consciousness essentially served completion of life in corporeal form and reconstituted physical being into grist for other organisms to flourish.

Karma and the glorious unique characteristic that comprised respective charisma, dogma, and persona (generally comprising an enigma to the world) absorbed after contract with cosmic creator lapsed.

Brief occupancy on this terra firmae as inscribed in genetic code (merely a blink of an eye in the universal schema) gave this now deceased dreamer notion to maximize enjoyment of each day.

One need not globe trot (and boast of espying exotic places), but could experience inner harmony by imbibing the present.

Simple pleasures that abounded in the wild or evoked via the creative imagination of august writers supplied ample sustenance for satisfaction.

Contemplative and introspective mien prompted Eros to be discerned in the grand canyon of Mother Nature in tandem with personal motive to indulge like-minded thinkers since the beginning of time.

Any given day frequently found thoughts turning over every figurative jagged rolling stone when the grim reaper might spring a surprise visit, which metaphysical thought interestingly enough gave sigh of relief.

Why?

Upon termination of enjoying existence in living color, the eradication of this pet smart peeve i.e. anxiety/ panic attacks, interwoven with inxs of obsessive-compulsive behavior would dissolve into the basic elements of earth, wind and fire.

No iota amount of matter marshaled of the non-entity dimension would assume command.

Those former psychological trials would thence be relinquished from their parasite role and recompose cells of one mortal man into matter to be recycled into raw materiel for other organisms to feast upon.

Basic constituent cells of this Homo sapiens would become necessary seeds for some other manifestation for plant or animal development.

Go daddy maggots sans a fancy feast, a best buy per this former foo fighting beastie boy, whose nihilistic outlook promulgated within his in utero psyche.

Gestation as an embryonic fetus, the potential live, googly eyed, earth-linked, wannabe hotmail prodigy harbored no Oshkosh bug gosh pinterest to remain in the world wide web of bad company,

Hence.

Nothing could mollify measly mumble bling linkedin (albeit progressive matchless carrion), whose luggage viz human carcass unwittingly opened the redbox of Pandora.

Molecular features would assume novel combinations thru said degradation of flesh, yet improvisation of biology would wield wasted corpse that once epitomized an articulate, civil, enumerate, glib, invertebrate, kind male into novel marvels of unpredictable genus and species.

Dust dost each living organism predicated to the ash can of history, yet how diabolical when coroner errs, whence one mortal a mere flickr (possessed of insufficient spark to Lyft life force per self kickstarter).

Thus the attendant mourners knew naught qua the infinitesimal itty bitty dirt band that resonated with a cacophony of Quicken ing Uber Vanguard military forces bearing down on the enemy.

A cascade from each shovelful of rich textured true valued of top notch quality fodder (composed of organic materiel transformed from humus to a heavenly bed cover for deceased) found reassurance that a plain casket would be swathed and bathed in luxuriant Gaia, yet that consolation diminishing in proportion to each subsequent thud slowly muffled the sounds from without, thus decreasing any likelihood to clamor for attention.

The respiratory virus that manifested into killer pneumonia left nary a wisp of Wunderground wizardry to awaken any funeral attendant. With precious time ticking away, the prospects became dimmer to be rescued or escape such grave circumstances.

Every ounce of effort summoned merely to rearrange cramped posture, where frigid aire only added to far-fetched fortitude to dig free of six feet deep, which depth even if (hypothetically could be overcome) exceeded thy five foot and ten inch height. An acrobatic maneuver (perhaps reminiscent of Adobe cave dwellers blithely hopping, skipping and/or jumping) would be the necessary modus operandi!

Divine intervention ranked as thee only saving grace, which sudden admonition against impiety found sudden conversion, or in Christian speak, this chap felt born again aware that current spiritual debacle may be least optimal to deliver salvation from the encroaching depredations of disintegration.

Thought thoroughly frisked of any pricey trapping before becoming swallowed up into the maws of pushing up daisies, the actual blue tooth got intact since removal of any constituent part of a being (even one determined to cease breathing), would be considered sacrilegious, or perhaps corpse stealers carried on an underground brisk trade.

Ah!

Yes!

The fast fading keen problem solving ability found serious consideration pertaining to those who violated freshly buried humans, with the presumption that the foregone lifeless rotten tomatoes could never be a whistle blower, nor any iota unconscionable actions would catchup!

Hence, an opportune occasion arose as tempest fugit ever so slow. But a ghoulish delight arose like a groundswell presaging a volcano, and lo’ loud machinery and non-English speaking voices seemed right up above.

A backhoe made short shrift of the methodical layering of each spade full of soil. The plain wooden box easily unmoored from the burial sanctuary.

Soon, the laborers optioned out what goodies to ransack, that might be saleable and/or prized for keepsakes.

As the coffin lid slowly opened, a grimace began to form on my face, and once the cover completely pushed back a sinister smile found the scallywag scavengers dumbfounded, turning ghostly white and howling like…the living grateful dead came back to life ha…ha…ha…