Babbling from a blatherskite
cheeses crust, i ham the biggest imponderable mystery to mice elf. if me appeals to you, I would love to meet up for coffee, squid and sauerkraut. I am very interested in how things yar life seem to always work out contrary tummy way. It is my goal to live in the moment and enjoy without pouting, to learn from everything that comes into my experience without doubt this mwm simian with a smallish prickly cock eyed convoluted brain with three legs skinny as those of a whooping crane in tandem with elongated combo Sphinx canine body of a great dane the unwitting a donor she dog called elaine additional about my cat a tonic pet agree i will refrain thanks you very mooch genesis, per this human protoplasmic mic grain sans freshet mountain spring, where fertile fecund field rosy cheeked feral lane inxs of seeking nirvana foremost in me mind and main reason this ac/dc charged beatle browed guy, who huzzah dow ting thomas pane upon verdant greensward hopes acquaintanceship, and friendship simple and plain as expressed in the following quatrain attempting to endure this unpleasant mar writ till rein from dis baad bard barred arse who iz newt insane despite riding with barred naked ladies on a gravy train while above in the heavens, the moon shadows doth wax and wane. mo'e about dis dennis well axle rod gun tha lil rose off limits by the thorn until trust grows, and friendship born intertwining body, mind and spirit of counterpart like a bowsprit after maybe a narrow miss lust will mutually adorn yet, i call on Eros to release another magical arrow. this simian known in the varmint world wide web as alias m. scott tulle bug amber liquids o the dogs he doth not chug nor down mind expanding drug boot experienced spurred me to hug and drink froom busty mother nada speedily from swollen bosom jug, which supple fingers did gingerly lug and suckle as if from a nip pulled mug sniffs with nose, when aye used to be a puppy pug ye and regale like some intricate oriental made rug only to remind myself this dickering dither nebbish on same slimy playing field retractable male member oozes like a slug. while sew king in a broth of brine formaldehyde n sumac, an eternal sleep brew elixir bitter like quinine, but otherwise quite fine dis paw made up each line noah lion eyes from mine which ocular orbs total sixty nine n populate my epidermis along each disk vertebrae of me spine which makes potion costs life an limb one sprig off the human vine noggin - after down in a gallon o wine. i enjoy a commendable comment, though many respondents rage at this gent sans wordiness, and valuable time ms spent to decipher my gibberish evicted since hours decrypting forces her/him to live in a tent. this poet can know a range of feline artful dodger with his non lion cat skills concocting totally income pre hens able confusing trills. some of these claws n nay pickling skills, which include maintaining mouse sized dignity, grace (while under fire from Stuart little), kibitzing, nibbling on self crafted bon mots, and then rubbing the dead giveaway crumbs (from double entendres) using all faux paus into thy maw paw cent less whole foods masticating dull blade less choppers. sanguine at one hundred thousand minus forty six hundred, or eight years plus forty nine = an apt and pithy phrase to matt's labyrinth best characterized as a twisted maze (along a boulevard of broken dreams) lodged deeply inside this dutiful dada shackled to an endless role of scullion, but silently gesticulates for salvation. this spruced up fun guy (and not unduly coy -- see) pines for female to cure nostrum from domestic plight. just a spoonful of sugar will most definitely help this medicine go down (best hummed to the mary poppins tune of the same name), mine current existence like a modern henry david Thoreau with a twisted sister. after perusing this rambling prose (from mine psyche feeling walled in), you might judge this personal struggle more on a par with oliver twist, i sincerely seek salient gallant wings (with or without dishpan hands) to take this humble human being who can (ha) bring a fairy tale ending to my cinderella patterned existence, rather than this helter skelter pell mell tread full life like a rat in a cage. away i want to soar no matter such fantasy a fool's' paradise! an extra ticket just located and could be a boon and salve plus preferable to travel in tandem with another. only upon surrendering to a deep and peaceful sleep (which dream state will take place soon) does the fictional world (within the wide wedded web of this wayward thinking wanderer) take hold and serve up a brief hiatus to a life devoid of contentment. this amateur baker would cook up a souffle or rhubarb pie if willingly taken from mine own personal lake wobegon awash with raw bits of flotsam and jetsam and empty boxes of powdered milk biscuits, the one with big blue stain on the outside. san sol invictus served ancient civilizations as their com-stock load transmitted from my ip node. like a modern day icarus this mwm mulls the possibility of finding a real live likeness of what constitutes a hologram of his mythic muse, who exudes able bodied confidence donning every filament. keep on dreaming cyber buddy, an anonymous reader might think, telepathically communicate or even communicate via email, which idealism goads me to broadcast the following fanciful (and perhaps not so far fetched) feasible female find among the frequent purveyors of this website. the vague nebulous barely perceptible kernel of a fictional account per my own conjured up vision (as pertains to what might comprise a companionable woman to me) could conceivable materialize into an actual arch de triumphant revelation once landing this wistful nugget of an idea into the conscious of unconscious mind of an unknown gal, who just by a fluke (of the worm holes populating the universe) finds herself piqued with curiosity about me. not a whit of information yet exists about this writer who envisions himself in seven heaven (no matter he in truth really admits to espousing an atheistic outlook on the cosmos) if that all to fickle finger of fate (usually the middle one raised by an obstreperous onlooker) finally found me in the company of a woman able to articulate in a civil and democratic manner emotions, ideas, sentiments and thoughts with an unpretentious air of sophistication. she (meaning this balsamic scented woman) would also possess a cosmopolitan demeanor yet clear of all any unpretentious knotty suaveness, but also able, eager, ready and willing to allow, enable and provide quite an ability to get into an amazing tangle of literary profundity. unlike this older fellow seriously believes he got borne in an in apropos century and revels in another illusory consideration - aside from trying to summon forth a living gal of flesh and bone from this overactive imagination.frequent farcical notions flit to and fro inside the so called major sex organ, and in moi case one with not an immensely large head incorporating being transported to say the renaissance or medieval ages or more recently that war between the north and south. if hedging bets with yours truly being a union soldier of yore, you no doubt already can infer where thy political and more pertinently national would get cast. okay, the original aim of (what many might tag as a yahoo) really wishes to explore the make believe world and just maybe prick the inquisitive of at least one online browser, who although she might not in the least be seeking any male relationship just by happenstance or circumstance experiences some inexplicable necessity to reply. in the event that should lady luck be like a divine guiding star, i know best to tamp down any premature illusions of grandeur, but let the natural course of familiarity usher the chap a roan of sacredness to be cherished for however short or long such a friendship might endure. oh yes, an ongoing (specifically offline) interaction motivates this doubting thomas fool hardy spurious posting for to be ransacked with absolute and total consent in an effort to be plucked from this (utterly difficult to describe) morass (at date of crafting this mishmash) of discontent with thy marriage, which then quite contemptuous wife, yet consideration to pledge thine troth to another could be a moderate to strong consideration. so, now with a zing a hoop ye kin be yang 2 me ying i step in2 the digital xing via summit da fall low wing written jest 2 byte tongue in cheek yet unsure if zee phone here will ring or an unexpected gold plated invitation after yodeling ding in a catch 22 effort to hear pleasant, yet discordant musical ka -- ching for cherished pennies, nickels, dimes, et cetera from heaven 2 bring. patiently twiddling fir and twenty black bird shaped like green thumb as schmart simian Semitic arse gets comfortably numb after quaffing humongous amount of rum while also downing into me gullet oral roberts sesame street pudding made of pureed plum unlike jack in the corner mull huck mooch more glum and despite this facial stubble with here n there a stale crumb, this dabbler in words haint å no cracked barrel size petsmart, skidrow, dire strait bum. If receptive to react, redact, re-enact, refract, repack, Rorschach, et cetera ...the above scenario abridged text slack or email rsvp asap 2 me -- aka khan of union track the above message approved by the late doctor zeus n swiftly tailored president zack. from a sub human holed up in his man cave this one bedroom perky oh man dwelling, thee one i moost fave scratched with deep intentions grave, whereby credo, ethos and integrity induce me 2 be-have like the hairdo shellacked (substitute requisite stick figure or other symbols), understandable to this primate of a knave bang to rocks together to signal myself as a wah na b ya sigma sixty ninth audioslave signed: yo yo ma's, king crimson beastie boy.
From blank screen to logorrhea, I write with confused adumbrations
Methinks hmm, perhaps
I admittedly self plagiarize and quite aware
aforementioned amalgamated, conglomerated,
fabricated, jerry rigged, and organized
eye gripping titled
poem already aired a year plus ago,
though revisiting said theme
downplayed now as thoughts blare,
though similarly filched content
(pertaining to other literary endeavors)
invariably glommed electronically
(digitally remastered and remixed),
nevertheless gobbledygook enigmatically
jerkily, and quirkily communicated,
sans trademark Pi Seine (seen) fishtail career
as applies to uber secreted questions.
This chap challenges himself,
an immense task I dare
unleash unbounded kickstarting euphoria
within psychic calm and weal
with a healthy dose of logorrhea
scowl unintentionally anonymous reader
mine re: noun verbosity doth ensnare
though oft times obfuscation veils merely
a black hole sun (son) prominence
asthma faux eminence amber gris
long ago didst flare
aware if chance encounter
in a dark alley coal less sing
burning eyes fiercely glare
yet, an explanation
would be proffered to hear.
Most instances when I initially seat
myself priming creative literary juices to flow,
an unspecified number hours elapse
before that eureka i.e. Jackie Oh
NASA hiss (Onassis)revelation transpires
witnessing, this scruffy, prickly, grow
tusk long haired woolly creature
out malm mouth drool dripping
trademark characteristic viz
pencil neck geek
madly scratching itchy hairs
dotting chinny chin chin of
garden variety generic hobo
hook huns hitters hymns elf
tubby frank and ernest poet;
home body (nowhere man);
beetle browed fool on the hill;
common everyday fluky,
nippy, nap noopy common Joe,
just biden his time,
whence upon gestation ova hen chic idea
comes home to stir the roost.
(Hard boiled eggheads merely
scrambled random thought fragments
at that stage) scrunching brow
activates laser focus,
a scattershot burst
of tangential threads populate
formerly barren tabula rasa,
sans, Lenovo external screen
once again defying (tomb me
akin to some eternal mystery),
trucked since time immemorial
inexplicable, that sudden ignition
asper cerebral automatic
catalytic converter kickstarter
(hmm...perhaps cogs and gears
housed within medulla oblongata)
foster fecund fertilization,
an inexplicable phenomena, I dune hot know
explanation, but upon advent
whence, wispy vague undefinable inchoate
coalesce analogous to genesis of animal new life
when there appears just the merest hint
of fledgling wispy notions strive similar
to sperm cells fervently whipsawing vis a vis,
via flagellation motility misfits
and false starts before this crotchety scribe
mollycoddles crux of embryonic idea
congeals, expresses, and forms
grandiose manifest destiny
mentioned above i.e. Hoe
Lee Judas Priest remaining catharsis
seems like a versatile
self determining Motorhead
(ace of spades) tour de force,
whereat fingers of the left hand
move of their own volition spilling forth poe
whet tree once expanded Leaves (of Grass)
finds me Waltzing Whitman nigh hick cull
tickled pink with a soft after glow.
This penchant spurring confabulation
explaining (feebly) zest
yours truly experiences
expatiating honest to dog ness
figuratively go win west
hoard (word) ho seeking
mine own mother lode acquired,
via verse a tile material undergoing
electric kool aid acid test
incorporating rigorous (mortise
and tenon constructed) adverbial quest
which wondrous, whirled,
and webbed woven semicolon aided nest
reinforced with double entendre
tongue in cheek jest,
whereby multiple interpretations
(ala mode literary splotchy Rorschach test)
tenants in common beau geste
ma bell heavable own home spun faux
Cambridge Analytica
Jimmy Crack corn and I don't care
gimcrackery defaced facebook best
bite, with absolute zero
data snatched aye evasively attest
death be not proud
in relation to world events.
Botanical garden in full bloom equals Nirvana – 365 days a year
Ambition to strike success
as a writer finds yours truly
attempting to spark imagination
whenever and wherever possible.
This quest analogous to an adventurer,
which alpine meadow four specifically
linkedin with most any aspiring wordsmith.
An apropos conducive environment
ginning inspiration kickstarts to cotton outré.
Such particular place to captcha
figurative Kodak moment,
and feel exalted constitutes
nonchalantly ambling along
quiet footpaths incorporating
visiting an arboretum
during peak season.
Ah tis thru endeavors of horticulturalists
who tease out immovable feast,
eyes thirstily drink.
When traversing among
bountiful manicured flora,
I readily admit no prompt
really needed to let words
unstoppably amply spill forth.
Happenstance ineluctably found
another unexpected visitor,
who quickly infatuated goo goo doll.
This country bumpkin
extremely introverted, whereat
even the mere exercise
of autosuggestion regarding socialization
exacerbates anticipatory anxiety.
An especial discomfort constitutes
unpleasant physiological fallout
generating sweaty palms,
which great inconvenient truth
additionally, ordinarily and voluntarily
sets this no name brand
garden variety human varietal
steering clear of madding crowds.
Nonetheless, an every
now and again impetus
spurs writer of
these moribund grave interludes
to test discomfort zones
courtesy exposure therapy.
As iterated above,
the redolent, serene, tranquil...
quasi Edenic ambience exuded
by flowering plants in full regalia
oft times finds these little feet (mine)
traipsing (in tandem
nsync Tiny Tim
tip toeing thru the tulips)
along quiet outposts.
No explicit agenda
with great expectations
(by Dickens) motivates
moseying on over
to such quiescent nook
as if such contrived niche
bajillion miles away
from civilization
and concomitant discontents.
Hence, an anecdote
sets this aging baby boomer body
all aquiver reminiscing
upon blessed (totally tubular
unexpected pleasant fluke)
recalling meeting Wisteria.
At get go (absent any geico),
a chance casual conversation
intimated an inexplicable attraction.
Without any "FAKE," exertion
natural effort seemed manifest destiny.
Rather than coerce, force, induce...
deliberate awkward
self embarrassing statement,
I merely commented
how unusual an outfit she wore.
This unique nonconformist couture
immediately drew to mind
good and plenti drupes
likened to an overflowing
bin laden raining purple glory.
Net neutral conversation
unintentionally loosed flattery,
without alluding to ulterior motive.
Within third eye blind
of one among many village people
comprising human league.
Where haven at Ott's exotic plants
housing tropical garden
(lots) chrysanthemums in bloom
Highland Manor Apartments
affords quick jaunt
veritable exotic getaway
scant miles away
Schwenksville establishment rooted
at least last half century
local tropical paradise beckons
passer(s)by to saunter
imbibe fragrant aroma,
espy splash of color on hillside
ease hilly draw painter with palette
photographer, musician, scrivener...
especially during dead of winter,
indoor botanical garden
bounteous, capacious, herbaceous...
topography exquisitely, heavenly,
incredibly... landscaped flora
to dazzle sense and sensibility,
inebriating, intoxicating, invigorating...
metaphorical cathartic ambrosia,
potent fragrant blend
wafting within englassed green acres
buzzfeeding, kickstarting, spellbinding
pollinating, germinating, birthing...
analogous natural stimulant,
holistic, magically therapeutic
without deleterious hallucinogenic,
nor harmful narcotic qualities,
also terrific soporific,
a soothing environment
to gravitate, meditate, ruminate...
healthy psychological restorative
hypothetical scenario to heal
mental, physical, and spiritual wounds
to strengthen body,
mind, and body triage
woke benumbed atavistic
primitive Homo sapiens
nihilistic grim outlook (mine)
housing grim prognostication
foreboding bleak aggrievement
impossible submission toward
apocalyptic trend to escape,
especially with the looming threat
of World War III.
Unspoken implication belied bon geste
Unsettled conscience beckons expunging
residual crass behavior in an attempt
to cleanse mine soul of deplorable actions
aping impractical jokers
since June second two thousand and nineteen
when yours truly crafted the following lines.
Upon espying aesthetically pleasing lass
(considerably younger than me),
middle aged ma'am, or classy older woman
impetuousness overtakes rationality
courting acquaintanceship constituting
aforementioned type female
these premature ejaculations
blindside yours truly
upon comfort level
of unfamiliar lady recipient,
(especially years gone by
with then young daughters in tow)
oft times lacked conscientious wherewithal,
how embarrassing offspring felt
at their buffoon papa appearing,
intimating, kickstarting... rapport
at first blush evincing politesse,
yet keen eldest progeny
adept to discern in apropos overture,
despite being well mannered
couched foray, an unconscious insinuation
discerned, hinted, leveraged...
unspoken ulterior motive,
yet honest to dog overt blurting
complement toward veritable stranger
essentially, intrepidly, overtly...
stated genuine pleasantry
attempting to recoup losses
from utterly abysmal
socially withdrawn adolescence
could easily be interpreted
as sexual innuendo
(particularly witnessed by
acutely perceptive first born),
whose reverence, asper in this dada
plummeted, especially cuz
similar instances occurred,
where ambiguity
to formulate unfavorable conclusion
tacked on her growing
list of gripes against dada
loosely analogous to Martin Luther,
whereby his “95 Theses,”
which propounded two central beliefs -
the Bible and central religious authority -
humans may reach salvation only
by their faith and not by their deeds -
was to spark Protestant Reformation,
which essentially kindled
figurative fuel to the fire
incrementally cleaving paternal dotage
undesirable, no matter Pedophilia
never goaded what in mine mind
amounted proving daring do,
since suppressed infatuations
decades past, this then
extremely reclusive knew
nothing about powder milk biscuits
to give shy people the strength
they need to get up and
do what needs to be done.
Thus, an apologia without exception,
whether or not these words seen to deux
darling daughters, plus
other gals who experienced discomfort,
at innocuous attempt
to get linkedin with
whirling wide webbing of women.
Aught tum follows summer re: follicular fall out can spring a heady winter
June thirtieth two thousand and nineteen
wrought following harried styled swiftly tailored poem.
Thy scalp thoroughly massaged during hair washing,
after showering (frequently tapping the cold water faucet –
in an effort to ramp up brisk temperature tolerance),
an immediate process to shake out matted down hairs
follows suit. Oft time a healthy clump knots fox trot,
jitterbug, tango, et cetera together spawning undergoing
subsequent rotating head up and down or side to side
(naturally affecting a dizzy state) to help tease apart
potential dreadlocks, and also reduce the chill (since
the air conditioner in this apartment also turned er
rather button pushed to register a balmy, pleasantly
refreshing, toasty 60˚Fahrenheit. Masses of secular
and religious intractably twisted (analogous to sisters
tangling in a hissy fit) with gnashing upper dentures
against gum shun (since mine lower false teeth donut
comfortably, ideally, properly, satisfactorily, et cetera fit),
now upon exiting the bathroom cursing fate for bringing me
Into this harassing, plenti massive linkedin eventual
right angle ova tha peculiar dangle, when these stray clots
(somewhat resembling rats in a cage bound tight similar
to Gordian Knots eventually (thru no choice of their own)
relinquishing boa constriction asp er stranglehold transitioning
into little twisted sister bands, where The Idler Wheel
Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords
Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do
at which juncture,I cringe from inside witness to lose,
and beg tubby bow weed (at least what appears to Major Tom
what appears to be), an over abundant, unreasonably
verdant whisk heir supply, whereby inexplicably, terminally,
unusually, et cetera unfettered x a decimal gorgeous
jingling kinky lost nsync precious strands, which quandary
spurred the mane reason (this horse shacked troubadour)
experiences psyche saddled thyself with a chomping
at the bit mood. psyche caparisoned nay hogtied, groomed,
festooned within an Equus state of braying bonnie blues,
decrying, experiencing, frightening guess stop oh sturm
urn drang bitterness, sourness seeing clumps of mature threads
falling out. At the prolific rate cherished, fondly inbred
lithe orange robed uber Xanax deployed gloriously jimmy
magic pills slam Visigoths yielding compulsive fiends
itching like outliers, recalcitrant usurpers aiming destruction,
gravitating joyously, merrily piercing sanity, verily zeroing cites
for impulsivity, leeching out rationality, untenably Xerxes Army.
Ruminations upon approaching my 100th birthday – while still able to scooch, sidle, shimmy, snuggle, squat..
January thirteenth deux thousand and fifty nine only x squared number months away. Courtesy of global warming the howl of old man winter long fostered, linkedin, relegated... to the meteorological dustbin of Earth's history. This indignity to enraged Gaia. Subsequently she gingerly foisted upon bipedal critters blistering, scorching, withering,... temperatures. Hellacious for any fool who dared to amble, ferry, scuttle..., across the crusty burnt offering mantle of said oblate spheroid basically, essentially and literally liquidated the once diverse four seasons into one hot long summer. Despite dire doomsday prognostications countless elapsed generations blithely ignored stepped up iterations Mother Earth could go kaput fell on deaf ears. Analogous to the boy who cried wolf, the honest to dog diehard devil in the details got nay sayed, poo pooed, trumpeted, et cetera as “FAKE” news. Undisputable, undeniable, uncontestable, irrefutable... scientific data blithely skirted courtesy pant tum mime ming politicians. Hardcore scientific data claimed as ploy to distort, hoodwink, muckrake as odious Republican party. Though no conspiracy theory, this realization undermined quality of all life and stultifiedall creatures great and small each compromised delicate thread, viz seriously threatened uber World Wide Web. Human civilization namely soaring disenfranchised bajillion populations contributing most spike, asper hungry mouths to feed plan net absolute zero elimination of fossil fuels materialized beyond the "talking heads" stage. Serious irreparable environmental degradation diversity regarding species diversification took Kamikaze nosedive , whereby bipedal hominids, i.e. specifically Homo sapiens to whit made final endrun touchdown. Only a few toke ken flora and fauna endowed with privilege from said self anointed, elected, and jackknifed biosphere. Total mortal kombat desecration long since declared upon all other creatures large and small lame odds against most formidable fee fie foe fum I smell blood of Everyman. The ability for scientists of all stars and stripes definitely greater than fifty plus perfected the ways and means to synthesize, albeit do it yourself cloning kits recreating with minimal mutations impossible mission to distinguish once upon a time authentic animals (particularly humans), and plants versus mutation free replicas version xyz. Each man, woman, and child inherently capable, feasible, permissible to forage, (or forge) any extinct life form after genetically modified bot size organisms became chromosomally integrated. Yea quite a hullabaloo scores of decades back. These vehement uproars (protesting outright novel manipulation - leftist kindled jibber jabber walking iconoclasts) by good n plenti madding crowd sourced with austere outlook nonestablishmentarian. Popular protests against agribusinesses (amateur blind faith knowledge) frequently led to misguided disastrous results. I refer, while simultaneously taking deep inhalation of homemade reefer to age of discovery and exploration. Now nonpareil sophistication generically trademarked, mere pennies on the dollar prevailed for mom and pop boutiques "cell bait shops," more so for exotic breeders to catercorner a niche market heartily throve. Interestingly enough, more conservative advocates (initially no surprise liberal revolutionary types) pressed government(s) to assert regulation. Unlikely severe checks and balances could be implemented at this foregone stage, cuz plethora of custom designed ecologies promulgated, kindled, inculcated, et cetera at initial terrestrial hermetically sealed tougher genetic ware of select fertilization. Such accustomed, embedded, gerrymandered, et cetera paradigm part and parcel of humanity analogous to the aromatic, organic, and universalistic controlled environmentally fractionally formulated, distilled, brewed... air supply people breathe. Software applications readily proliferate, though most of us quite able minded to code for prospective fathers, mothers, or avowed single parent available to tinker, fiddle and finely tune an offspring. The latest purported technological advancement blends computer fostered instituted quasi android with deoxyribonucleic acid these latter twenty first century primates culled, but basic understanding of biochemistry allows, enables, and provides cutting edge fantastic glowing harvested innovations, where fertile imagination stretched to outer limit of twilight zone meant outer reaches of cosmos the limit.
Similar to any exploratory craft fabricating, honing, and interweaving the blend of microelectronics insync with carbon life forms takes artificial intelligence into the sketchy realm of science fiction supreme sensate beings. Thus, the prolongation of telomeres lifespan, a quandary gaining significant realization since prelapsarian times, harkening back when my bubba's zayda to the power of Google) increased longevity of the average human. Actually, even pets and/or other domesticated creature included within sweep of keeping a check on aging cells, perhaps helps to explain the title of this vignette. Naturally, mine bicentennial circuit denoting seventy thousand days warrants accommodation of loved ones. This thrifty Pennywise papa of E_ L_ and S_ A_ tried level best to guide his two lovely daughters toward enlightenment.
Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated
Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary
after Grahame Wood
determined to meet
the evolving needs of the community
opened the first Wawa Food Market
in Folsom, PA, on April 16, 1964.
Today marked the sixth decade
since George Wood started
the Wawa dairy in 1902,
and it quickly became
a trusted name for fresh,
quality dairy.
As an unsung Patrons of said store,
I strove to achieve mitzvah
for an incapacitated wheel chair bound
resident here at Highland Manor Apartments.
The fickle finger (hut) of fate
unknowingly planned to liquidate
honest to dog sincere intentions
to deliver said drinkable goods
(you can bet your bottom dollar)
on his sterling promise
never foreseeing disastrous
misadventure out ranking
starry eyed bespectacled klutz
comprising the heart of this poem at any rate
(nitty gritty details omitted),
but essentially and summarily
spilled contents from three
twenty ounce cups of hotly perked coffee
scalding himself in the process,
where epithets spewed
inadequately served at X-rate.
I asked him if he liked coffee
cuz today aforementioned vendor
acknowledged the brainchild
offering buzzfeeding caffeinated brew free
American chain of convenience stores
and gas stations originating
in the Philadelphia metropolitan area,
and now located along the East Coast
of the United States,
operating in Pennsylvania, New Jersey,
Delaware, Maryland, Virginia,
Washington, D.C., and Florida.
The remaining lines of this reasonable rhyme
garnered courtesy an endeavor
attempted quite some years ago
attempt bordering on the ridiculous to the sublime.
Even when iron not red hot,
I implement non customary quirks
regarding going for broke into survivor mode
asia foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt
mandates yours truly,
a cheesy survivor who rem: members
putting freeze on
Citizens Bank World MasterCard accounts,
whose helplessness to fork over
substantial dollar figure
analogous to one of three blind mice,
who ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off tails (OUCH!)
with a carving knife
must pay the price
methinks food in the slammer (ha)
will lack sugar and spice,
nevertheless macht schnell trice.
I exhaled deep sigh of relief
after speaking over the telephone,
whereby Arcadia Recovery Bureau
(i.e. collection agency)
based in Reading, Pennsylvania
explained yours truly owed $23.21
which considerably alleviated
immediate dire straits that figuratively
grabbed me by the nuts
hash tagged self scoundrel
a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz
living testes mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,
I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop
whereby the hypothetical proprietor
willing, ready able to tear out my guts.
Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.
Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane
splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks
as Homo sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains
the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.
Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack
(the original motive begetting poem)
knee jerk involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.
Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.
Reaffirming marital covenant chaste away errant infidelity
Whereby I confessed being guilty
impossible mission to escape accusation
of prurient transgressions
wrought transformation and self condemnation
additionally begat demonstrable emasculation
against accepting, kindling,
urging temptation toward verboten fruit,
clearly communicated, albeit clumsily
courtesy non verbal gesticulation
labeling mine promiscuous, lascivious,
horrendous... behaviour reviling.
Yours truly shirked fidelity
regarding faithful vows
bequeathed courtesy angel of mercy,
who pledged her troth
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
five months (not quite to the day) before
"star student" birthed
on December twenty second,
(now gainfully employed
at Certified B-Corporation
headquartered in San Francisco, California).
The missus likened to Rose Madder
than a raging (red) bull
visa vis upon discovering mine absence
(cuz I slept in the basement cull
hooding with Casanova
while at 724 Railroad Avenue
keeping company with mice elf),
methought then how wretched and dull
being married and celibate,
hence yours truly sought full
fill mint outside the marriage,
yet unbeknownst to this husband
an automatic, fatalistic,
and opportunistic hull
king, quaking, and vociferating wife
gave me a thrashing tongue lashing harangue
verbal dressing down,
cuz I betrayed lifelong commitment
until death do we part
me uttering sacrosanct words witnessed courtesy
immediate family members
plus justice of the peace
honorable Judge: Henry Schireson
925 Montgomery Avenue, Suite 100
Narberth, Pennsylvania 19072-1913
pledged allegiance, compliance,
exuberance, obeisance lull
and sacred marital concord
yours truly did not honestly mull
kickstarting promising unswerving monogamy
deserved hypocrite label
coveting, facilitating, indulging,
loving, offering pent housed
sexual relief with another woman
nearly did render null
and void marriage pact
flaunted sacred pact
and will (as good as) hang,
which sexual imbroglio,
albeit (nocturnal escapade) did boomerang
in earshot of both
our then young daughters virgin ears,
thus a sudden pang
to exit the scene arose up inside me
courtesy wishful trapdoor to appear suddenly,
(whereby regarding floorboards)
from out mine overactive imagination sprang
open to usher, and/or time travel back
to earlier that fateful night rather than lang
whooshing amidst livid rage
self serving deserved fiery emasculation,
the noose hence I did stage,
experiencing withering, twittering,
snapchatting, kickstarting blistering
expletive laced epithets think
ready to burst pressure cooker
evincing dangerously hot level gauge
driving figurative wedge
between me family
courtesy foaming at the mouth spouse
(of course deux progeny affected)
renting asunder and rendering hollow
thee justice of the peace
gordian tied, uttered,
vouchsafed worded oath I did pledge.
Divorce prematurely ejaculated,
yet instantaneously dismissed
no more pleasant alternative spewed versus
contracting cankerous cyst
analogous to toxic mother
of our two offspring hissed
disparaging me directly linkedin
with promiscuous tryst
besotting me with blackened barbs
me honestly, lamely, meekly
justifying philandering gist,
cuz gal methought
(good idea mister casanova wannabe),
which came as soliloquizing aside
to exchange as bartered bride
thine scorned wife,
who would relentlessly chide
(even long after the day I died)
heard thru tomb harrows coffin
abominable behavior, I do readily admit
figuratively found me electrified
what with raging testosterone nsync with
hormonal secretion my guide
erotic gamboling, I chose not to hide
never back once black traipsing inside
double entendre meant
viz yule eyes joyride.
Unsettling premonition kickstarts fiendish abomination
Consider the following
dogmatic, enigmatic, fantastic,
idiotic, jargonistic, kimetic, linguistic,
narcissistic, opportunistic,
poetic, quixotic, rhapsodistic,
scholastic, transformistic,
universalistic agglomeration
as an abbreviation
overactive imagination
wrought demonic manifestation
unaware reading dictionary
could engender garrison housing
Century 21 ghostly conjuration
paranormal shenanigans this
Lake woebegone resident
grudgingly attests perturbation
disembodied spirit betook
(analogous to Casper
the friendly ghost)
"FAKE" spooky introduction
primarily cause ethereal
phantom of the opera mine
diaphanous doppelganger actualization
forcing agonizing confrontation
blindly highlighting spectacular illumination
constituting undeniable declaration,
whereby stagnant existence
aligned stark juxtaposition
courtesy faux charade, escapade, facade...,
gimcrackery literary affectation
yielded (still does) negation
to befriend prospective logophile,
essentially begetting immediate amputation
as posited a posteriori said acquisition
regarding, kneading, experiencing...
inclusiveness feeling reviled discrimination
foisted linkedin with nonestablishmentarian
progressive, liberal, agnostic Unitarian
paradigm upbringing birth parents
decreed ideal articulation
to foster independent cogitation
among yours truly, and his two sisters,
at one time felt veneration
marble lustrous bead
felt towards (guess who) second born
only brother gifted with affliction
diagnosed recent as
schizoid personality disorder,
a mental health condition,
whereat emotional affinity
toward kin folk sundered
buzzfeeding self cannibalization
predicated on inchoate
in utero causation
insync with adaptation
(actually Putin on Ritz key conspiracy
incorporating Russian collusion)
in tandem with basket of deplorables
little rock and rolling
witnesses regeneration
frothy heady windblown
dyed in wool Taj Mahal size
pompadour toupee coronation
ego freezing troll defies decapitation
barley bubbling within hopscotching
mucky swamp characterization
capital hillbilly Phoenix
resembling archeopteryx alights
shrill screeching, digging lame talons
into trumpeting paunchy underbelly.
Panglossian perspective pivoting poze pretentiously
Pacific, pacifist pampered painstaking papa
parading par excellent paragon
parent (parenthetically parochial
particularly partisan) parvenu
passive, passionately paternalistically patient,
paunchy, peaceably pepped, perfectionist,
perceptive, perennially perky, permissively
persevering, persistently personable, perspicuous,
pertinent, phenomenally philanthropic, philharmonic
picturesquely pious, pioneering, piquantly pithy,
playfully pleasant, pleasurably plucky, plummy,
pluperfect, poetically poignant, politely pontificating, popular,
positively potent, powerfully practiced pragmatist,
praiseworthy, prayerfully precious, precise
predominant, preeminently preferable, preparedly
preponderant, presently president, prestigiously
prevailing, priceless, princely, principally pristine,
privately privileged, prized, proactively procreative,
prodigiously productive, proficiently profitable,
progressively prominent, promisingly prompt,
prophetically propitious, prospectively protective,
proudly proven provocative, prudently psyched, puissant,
punctilious, punctually purposeful pygmy.