Maybe Next Time

Cool wind raises bumps on my skin.

My hair flies in my face.

I listen to the seagull's call.

Salty tears join the air.

I look out to the ocean vast.

“Maybe next time” enters my mind.

Maybe next time he’ll try.

Maybe he won't be so awful.

I think about the next.

Maybe the next girl he’ll respect.

Maybe he’ll be careful,

he'll be loving and he’ll be true.

Maybe next time he’ll be

the man he promised me he’d be.

The man I so wanted,

but never got the chance to know.

I feel the tears fall again,

in frustration I cry hopeless.

I’m always the lesson,

when can I be someone’s next time?

The one someone gets right.

“Maybe next time” whispers the wind.

The words strike my face hard.

How many next times will it take

until all this pain ends?

How many more are going to lie and be fake?

My heart aches and it aches.

I’m out of next times I resolve.

I find my back now straight.

Independence I try and fake.

Though a wall would guard me

I know I don’t have what it takes.

I know it’s only time,

and once again I’ll be falling,

for a smile covered lie,

lost again in love toxic.

Lord help me, will I learn?

The waves crash back in their reply.

The wind brings the answer,

I cover my ears but still hear

“Maybe next time” it says.