Tiered or Tired

Tried.

I think that's the word I've aptly put to show how much I've applied myself.

My body and health aren't always the best, but I do my best to keep it up.

I like to harken myself to some cheap steel that - I guess if it pooled water at my feet - the shiny exterior of my surface might tarnish and cheapen the esthétique of my value.

God dammit, I'm so exhausted.

I'm not cheap.

For fucks sake.

I've got about the knowledge of a good chunk of people put together, and the fortitude and skill to get more done than a lot of my peers, but I am not boundless.

If only so many people understood how much work I put in to get their stuff done, keep their stuff up, or make it a reality.

I am so... very exhausted.

For all the porousness of my skin, I might flake off bits of myself, eroding into this weathering world.

I cannot, for the life of me crack that stupid smile on my face without there being a hint of sarcasm to it. The mirthlessness of it is getting to me.

Making me cynical again.

Oh god, but if I had to pay the trolls toll, I might be in for a folly.

Hearing a man bitch a thing or two about how the work I put in isn't that crazy.

(mutters) He'd sooner bitch than tell me the honest truth, though from time to time he admits what's real.

Hell. I have to admit what's real.

The reality of hell.

The reality of the corniness of paperwork and all the travesties of how far we can put a label on 'I don't like them' to the point of self-mutilation by gimping oneself from growth.

I'm talking my country.

My men.

My home and the people who seek value that they mean to add to their life.

To the women who mean to bring community action and bridge the connections, without the hell they peg down on those that cause strife.

Fuck it all.

Fuck it all to hell.

I'm sure you'll probably see this on the news somewhere.

If I make notoriety for myself.

But the world has lost its ever loving mind.

And the nation is shaking on divide,

brothers and sisters, he said- she said.

Oh who's the most divine?

No one is.

No one is special.

Not even me.

I'm only a tier above a couple people. Maybe two or three.