Accismus

Accismus

December 15, 2024

Gerald accepted the invitation to Heather’s wedding.

He didn’t want to, but he told himself, in doing so, he could be a gracious man,

His time with Heather was brief and passionate. He told her of his dreams. She wanted to be part of them all. Their future was assured.

Then came Frank.

Within a mere month, all that Gerald was, was not enough. Frank had more. Frank was better in every way. Frank was the man Gerald was not.

And Frank took Heather to be his bride.

“Perhaps it was for the best,” Gerald reminded himself. “I will find another.” “There are other fish in the sea.”

His friends knew these were all lies. Gerald put on a brave face, but was dying inside. It was only a matter of time before something had to give.

No one knew what was going to give, but smart money knew when and where it would give.

In the days leading up to the wedding, Gerald purchased a new suit and browsed the bridal registry. He purchased that espresso machine for the pair. He used to watch Heather delight in hearing the sounds and smelling the aroma emanating from the expensive device. It was to be their Sunday morning start of the day. It was now to be shared by another.

On the day of the wedding, Frank checked himself in the mirror and began the short walk to the chapel. He donated his wedding deposit instead of retrieving it. The minister could use the money he told himself. The minister could use the money. He purchased some paint and spruced up the quaint building for today’s ceremony.

At least Gerald could take it as a tax deduction, the minister told him.

Gerald entered the chapel cautiously, wondering how things could have been. His car could have been draped with the chotskies of the event. Usually, he kept his car showroom perfect. Today, he would have let that lapse.

The organist played the song perfectly as the bride entered back lit by the late morning sun. Heather looked radiant in the gown Gerald paid for. She never brought up the subject during the breakup. She assumed it would be a topic for later.

The small congregation seated themselves for the vows and exchange of rings.

Only,

Both events did occur, but not with the bride, but the bride’s maid. Frank met Dolores last night at the rehearsal dinner and the rest is history. The name on the marriage license was Dolores, so the minister already knew. Perhaps he needed a new roof for his silence.

So much is possible with a tax deduction.

Heather began crying. Frank and Dolores finished their ceremony and departed as man and wife.

There was an awkward silence in which Gerald had the opportunity to act. He could save the day. He could step up. He could be the hero.

Only,

Gerald decided otherwise. Being closest to the door, he departed without interference. He waved goodbye to the new couple and began his walk back to his apartment. He understood the collected eyes of EVERYONE in town were on him now. He would suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune for a while. Then, things would settle down. Heather would tire of the gossip and move to parts unknown. There would be future scandals to shake the foundations of the town.

Today would pass.

Gerald decided this was to be as he unholstered is Beretta 92FS, removing the magazine, and then removing the 15 rounds of hollow point 9mm ammunition. For the brass inscribed with the names of the minister, Frank, Heather, and himself, Gerald pulled the bullets, cast the powder to the winds, and collected the brass as the useless garbage they became.

He never discovered the taste of sour grapes after all.