Greetings Shari, which following email written in piecemeal...

I started mulling and typing my thoughts

at nearly 14:30 hours in military time

on December sixteenth two thousand and twenty four.

Incomplete tumultuous prepubescence,

youth, and emerging adulthood...

truncated self development plus simultaneously

compromised loving relationships

insync with filial bonds

between writer of these words,

(whose first two decades of mein kampf)

strewn with figurative wreckage

of emotional, mental,

physical and spiritual dissociation,

whereat yours truly (me)

figuratively severed being linkedin

with those whose

potential omnipotent bonds sundered

at the expense

of cultivating healthy family rapport.

I resumed later December sixteenth

two thousand and twenty four

at 22:00 hours military time.

Upon reflecting after

watching the Coldplay Youtube

with Dick Van Dyke celebrating his 99th birthday,

I marvel at self evident L'chaim, joie de vivre,

exubérant esprit de corps, et cetera

of the ninety nine year old birthday boy - ha,

who appears alive with full faculties intact

becoming a legendary

charismatic, and dramatic personality,

he conveys contagious

and prestigious qualities

exemplifying an ideal human being.

A centenarian after completing one more orbit

around the sun,

said icon of moving picture domain

an all around genuine loveable person,

whose kismet provided, enabled and allowed

generations to escape

away from madding crowd

courtesy going to the movies

to see childhood delights

popular roles he starred

in such as Mary Poppins

and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

the early to late ninety sixties

yours truly (me)

naive about the world at large and endowed

videre licet bestowed

by creator with life, liberty

and pursuit of happiness.

Ofttimes, I try in vain to recaptcha

the child within these lovely bones

vaguely remembering a happy go lucky lad

whose attachment to mama's apron strings

never found me to act precocious,

and preference toward maternal dotage

displayed outright obvious repulsion,

when dad attempted to interact

with his sole son

similar to behavioral quirk

displayed by Shana,

when she retracted away from the missus

during much of her impressionable years

spent living in an abominable and squalid dwelling

made more horrid by neither your brother,

neither her father nor mother

being gainfully employed,

nor maintaining respectable domicile.

The indelible impact

upon both daughters longly fostered

did not prosper successfully,

what with wretched parental guidance,

and absence of necessary positive role models

incorporated toxic environment

devoid of healthy development,

where formative years of offspring

experienced horrible mental,

physical and spiritual homelife

wrought permanent havoc

writ large upon their psyche

and plaguing them with psychological ills.

As the world turns

on all my (two) children

the bold and the beautiful

young and the restless lasses,

now grown into young women

still haunted by dark shadows

analogous to an omnipresent edge of night

obscuring guiding light

courtesy pockmarked psyche of mine

who, when a troubled tweener

entertained fantasies about another life to lead.

He (me) frequently envisioned

being somebody else

usually a sizable bigger kid

versus evincing a puny introverted youngster,

who withdrew inside himself

and spent an inordinate amount of time

within four walls of bedroom

afraid of growing up into a responsible adult.