Looking the other way

A glimpse of him is all I get because I know if I'd let myself be comforted by one single of touch of him I'll probably loose my stand.

I'm only a friend you see, someone to talk to but not want. Someone to see but not feel. Someone to mention but not wonder about cause I'm only an acquaintance that's how he sees me. He makes my heart ache so irrevocably that by the end of every week I need to cry my soul out , claw out every once of pain seeing him brings me cause the feelings become to unbearable and I drown in my tears for a moment because I know I have to tell myself I need to start swimming again before the currents become too strong.

"I love her" he tells me so causally yet painfully. He doesn't believe that he should feel this way. That people like him don't deserve it. He tells me he feels guilty to love her and be loved back, I ask why? He says " I'm taking away a piece of love in the world that I know someone else may need it more than me" I smile painfully at him cause that just made me love him a little more if that's possible he tries to reach out for me but I just stay out of reach , he sighs and nods thinking he understands my reasons why I haven't let myself  be touched by anyone over six months. He hasn't realized that's the same amount of time he's been with her. He hasn't realized that my body is yearning his touch, and mind craving to be noticed by him.

But I stay at a distance close enough to be seen but not loved.