Not only does every day seem to drag on continuously, but the joy that I once had when I was younger is gone. I don't wake up with the intent of doing good for myself and the rest of the world. But find my thoughts clouded with how I will possibly make it through the next day without being a bother or feeling even more worthless. Every day when I put my pjs on and lay down, I hope that tomorrow will give me a reason to carry on or just something or someone to motivate me like I once was. But I guess I didn't realize that that "savior" I had been looking for was already so close to me. She gave me a reason to smile and made me laugh when I was in tears. It felt as though with her I could fly! She was the reason I was still here, no matter how cheesy that sounds- it's true. Without her I could be dead, or checked in to a hospital, or still drowning myself with all the things I'd ever done wrong. I truly loved her, more than she would ever know. More than she ever could, because she's dead. I was told that she had just gotten home from school and was feeling awful. Not even her parents knew all the details, but from what they understood she got home and fell asleep. With a bottle of pills in her hand- half empty. My best friend was gone and there was no way she was coming back. I didn't even see it coming. But then again who does? No one recognized my depression until she came along and pulled me up out of the hole I had dug myself. I thought since she was smiling and telling me jokes that everything was ok. How ironic, by saving me you could say she killed herself...