a lunch

it's lunchtime with friends,

i expected the mall,

something cheap,

but no.

we're at a restaurant.

i don't complain.

or at least,

i try not to.

we order.

we eat.

we chat.

then comes the check.

the bill.

the receipt.

i am the one who deals with it.

$10,

$20,

$1,

are thrown at my hands.

i am the one who counts,

and hopes,

and sighs.

i pay extra,

because we don't have enough.

18% gratitude,

more like,

"you're paying for another person."

and now,

i'm loosing,

instead of gaining,

those weeks of washing dishes?

it went down the drain.

my mom was displeased,

when she found out i used up my $20,

which she had just handed me today.

i felt bad,

and she said,

"you obviously don't known how to handle money."

maybe i shouldn't go out after this week.

yeah.

that seems reasonable.

my excuse?

"i'm saving up money,"

which is true.