A night in the woods

I had had many fantasies about the allure of nature, but never have I ever been caught in one. When reverie met reality, it was rather strange. The tree trunks in the woods made our buttocks ache, as we sat on them. Our camp fire released an efflux of smoke into the already foggy atmosphere, leaving us in a heaven of misty air. This was not the woods as I had imagined it. This was not the nice grasslands, with tall trees bearing fruits and fluttering leaves as I imagined the woods to be. Maybe I was a bit too imaginative, a little delusional. I was a bit uncomfortable with the way things had turned out since the idea of coming to the woods was my suggestion. I heaved a deep sigh. 

Freddie, the guy that I was with at the woods, was a person with whom I had a long history with. He was a tall man, with bushy beards, and broad shoulders. He was the office talkative, who could talk for eight hours non-stop at the office where we worked together. He asked a lot of questions, made a lot of jokes, and did not care about a thing. Oh! sweet Freddie, all the little bits of his personality came together to accentuate his masculinity. He was really open, he would change his clothes in our tiny office closet, put his legs on the table, and laugh so loud. His posture was always upright, he would stride with so much confidence, if you saw him walk, you could totally mistake him for someone who was in the military. 

This was no love at first sight. At my first meeting with Freddie, I did not care for him very much. As far as I knew back then, he was the office talkative, who would not give my ears any minute of rest. I found him more annoying than others because I am more of a quiet, shy person, and being introduced to someone who is my opposite, it was a bit hard to tolerate. As time went by, I began to notice the beauty in his appearance, his genuity, and kindness. I became less infuriated with his chatty nature, but I still did not imagine, that someday I would come to love him. It all happened one day, on a hot summer afternoon in August. I was carrying files from the office on the 5th floor, to the shredder. I wanted some time alone. Since I guessed that there might be other people on the elevator, I chose to take the stairs. I could not help but think of how my boyfriend had broken up with me a day earlier. The thought of coming home to no one, the thought of seeing him with another girl, or simply the thought that I was not good enough to keep a man, left a lot of voices in my head. It was all I could listen to. Was it my fault, or his? I kept asking myself. I failed to notice that I had skipped a step, I tripped down from the stairs and fell to the bottom of the stairs. I yelled in pain, as I fell. Freddie who was right around the corner came to my rescue. He offered some first aid assistance and helped me back to the office. When at the office, he disappeared. I did not see him for twenty minutes. I wanted to see him, so as to thank him, but he was nowhere to be found. Twenty minutes later, he showed up with food and menstrual pads. I was puzzled, menstrual pads for what? Apparently, while I fell down, my period started. I did indeed feel some pain in my lower belly and a little trickle, but since I fell, I thought the pain was related to the pain in my legs. Besides, I was not even expecting my period to come so soon. Freddie had seen a few drops of blood on the butt cheeks of my jeans and decided that it would be nice, if not considered forward, to buy me some pads, since I would be needing them. I covered my face with both of my hands, in shame, as I collected the items he bought. Since he already knew, I just told him that I did feel a pain, but I did not think it would be my period. He smiled. He disappeared again for another five minutes. After five minutes, he reappeared with some Advil and Midol for menstrual cramps. He had garnered from the information about the pain in my belly, that I might be one of those unlucky girls who had cramps during their menstruation. In my whole life, I had never been treated so well. Even my ex-boyfriend, the one whom I tripped over, was never this nice. I found that with Freddie, I was beginning to forget my ex so quickly. I had had a taste of what it felt like to be treated like a queen, by someone who cares, and I could not let it go. Ever since then, I wanted him to be my boyfriend, because why not, right?

Since then I always tried to create opportunities for both of us to be together alone. Coming to the woods, was one of my ideas, for us to be alone. We originally planned to go  a friend's  birthday party. Since the party was far from where I lived, and I did not own a car, Freddie offered to pick me up at a bus stop close to my house and drop me off after the event. As we headed for the party, the celebrant called to say that everything was set for the event, except for alcohol, which she had not bought yet. Freddie and I decided to buy the drinks for her, and that would be our birthday gift to her. We stopped by a liquor store to buy some alcoholic wine, we paid, and we left. Midway through to the venue, the snowing got really bad, and the roads became very slippery. The celebrant called to say that the weather was terrible, she did not want anyone to get hurt because driving on a slippery floor can be dangerous. She said that she was going to postpone her birthday celebration to another date, and would be sure to check the weather forecast for that day beforehand. Since we did not know the day that she wanted to postpone the event to, we decided to return the alcohol to the liquor store, except for those four bottles that were on final sale, because of their marked down prices. After we returned the drinks, we decided to park somewhere and find a place to sit, until the snow got better. There are usually government workers who come to shove  the snow on the road with a big machine. It would be safer to drive then, we decided to wait. Since there was no place to sit in the liquor store, Freddie gave me one of two options, it was either we went into the McDonald restaurant to wait, or we went into the woods nearby. I quickly chose the woods, because I wanted to be alone with him. He gave me a baffled look, he thought that I would opt for the McDonald restaurant option for sure, and in fact, made the woods option as a joke. He asked me if I was sure twice, to make sure that I was not going crazy. I assured him that I was sure, and promised that It would be fun. We went to the car, took out the drinks that we could not return due to final sale, took our jackets from the back of the car and headed into the woods. Thankfully, Freddie had a lighter on him, he had the habit of burning incense sticks, because of their nice aroma, and since he carried incense sticks around, he carried his lighters around as well. When we got into the woods, he managed to start us a camp fire, with his lighter and a few sticks, the fire kept us warm. 

The snow did not cease till dusk, thus we were in the woods even after the sun had gone down. We drank little sips of our alcohol, one at a time. Freddie laughed, as he began to narrate some funny stories to me. We laughed so loudly and we giggled. The concentration of alcohol in the last bottle that we drank was very high. Freddie stood up right after he drank, and began to stagger. I feared that he might fall over the fire, so I pulled him towards me. He fell right over me. I laughed at his clumsiness. I gave him a kiss on the cheeks, which was meant to be a symbol of appreciation, for his beautiful nature. He held my arms rather tightly and began to thrust himself inside of me. I would have refused if it was anyone else but Freddie, but it was Freddie, I loved this man, so I agreed. Our shadows on the sands increased and lowered in humping motions, and the breeze from the west, created chills on our skin, that added to the intensity of the chills in my heart. 

The next day, I saw Freddie, he kept trying to avoid eye contact with me.  It felt weird. I wondered if I had been dumped again, or maybe it was true that I simply could not keep a man. I went to confront him when I got the chance to. He was walking down the stairs because the elevators were full. I asked him why he was avoiding me. He was hesitant to talk about that night or what had happened, but he did reveal to me that he had a girlfriend, and could not come to terms with the fact that he had cheated on her. So, why did he do it? I wondered, why did he make that move. He explained that he and his girlfriend had been having issues, and he was rather lost in my affection at the time. He did it to try to get over her, it clearly did not work. I really wanted to tell him to leave her and come to me, but it did not feel like the right thing to do. I did not want to risk keeping a man whose heart is somewhere else. I told him to erase the memory from his mind, and that I would never mention it. We agreed to continue on as friends and nothing more. That night I cried with my face in my pillow, love felt like a wasted effort. It was so ironical how everything happened at the same place. The same stairways where I fell in love, is the same stairways where my heart was broken.