Sighs, long days, tired nights. The responsibility that comes with age is so exhausting you spend most of your energy just getting by and forget your supposed to be interacting with other people. Oh well—

— the lock turns, but no one should have the key.

“Damn it, how did you get my key,” Mo yells at the intruder. His only answer was a soft smile. There was still a darkness looming behind the positive expression. The bags under his eyes weren’t new. “Why the hell are you smiling you look like shit.” HT walked to the couch pulling Mo along behind him. “I have so much shit to do and I’m fucking tired. Leave me alone.” Any other time Mo would have stormed off, abandoning the pushy bastard, but the pain and weight he felt looking into HT’s eyes made him hesitate. It had happened once before and didn’t end well. HT gently pulled him onto the couch next to him. He nuzzled his head into Mo’s shoulder.

HT finally spoke, “It’s not so bad if we’re tired together.”

Caught in the thicket

You're trapped,

But they're watching.

Play it cool.

Ignore the spikes in your leg.

Hope they don't see the sweat run down your back.

When they're safely out of sight,

Run. Run for your life.

i loved you when you held me,

when you kissed me out of the blue,

when you laid next to me,

when you told me you loved me.

i loved you when you left,

when i wasn’t good enough,

when you loved someone else,

when you didn’t love me.

I loved you when you reappeared,

when you casually checked in,

when you would start a conversation,

and then disappear again.

I loved you when we decided to hang out,

when we laughed like old times,

when you touched me,

when you wanted me back.

Through blood red seas,

Can you feel my heart yearning for escape?

Under sandstorms haze,

can you feel the ice creep along my skin?

When the earth is quaking,

Can you feel my unsteady palpating chest?

Surrounded by numbing rainfall,

Can you feel the canyon growing between us?

Here I am, 

running to the mountains,

To the peaks

I cannot reach

Maybe the thin air

will clear my head.

Maybe the trees

will teach me to breath.

You clap like the clouds,

The flash in my heart is silent.

A blizzard is brewing,

And I fear the absence of your warmth.

The wind is relentless,

My legs begin to give out from under me.

The tornado bellows within,

My voice can't compete.

For you, my love, I have oceans with depths beyond knowledge. Yours are the first footprints in many places. Look around, love, I have a whole world for you. Not even I am aware of the magnitude I am offering. It's an occasionally crippling pain and fear mixed with the calmest ocean breeze. Take my water and take my waves. Take the salt and take the rays. If not I'll cross myself off the map, leave my depths unexplored. I opened myself up once before. If not you, then no one needs the key.

I’ll bury myself in a mountain,

Pack the dirt on tight,

And pretend someone else’s veins

Are wriggling through the same earth.

It was a crushing pain

That turned into a soft and gentle whisper

Which quietly pinned me down

And locked my lungs in a box.

Are you the seed scattered far and wide, yet that takes no root and dies before it even begins?

Are you a tulip tree, blooming long before all the others, and shedding your pedals when they finally catch up?

Are you the cherry tree, blooming quickly and for all, blanketing the ground for strangers to tread?

Are the magnolia, with flowers right on time, but fading with the seasons?

Are you the common oak without blooms, standing tall and strong until winters bitter touch?

I am the evergreen, soft whisper beauty weathering the cold keeping my color as long as I live.

You say you dream of being like summer,

I'm telling you you've aiming too low.

The lure of summer outlasts its live,

But your inner fire burns long after your outer glow.

The humidity wears down the toughest men,

But you have iron-clad resilience.

The sun is radiant, don't get me wrong,

But a blind man can know your brilliance.

The heat is callous, the storms are wishy washy,

But you bring calming peace like a soft lapping sea.

If there's anything I could prove to you,

I'd tell you to believe me on this:

Even in my poor choice words,

You outdo any season, now live like it.

To the young girls, to the women, to the scandalous and the prudes, to the strong hearted and the teary-eyed, to the romantics and the empaths,

to the settlers and the dependents, let me give you a small piece of advice. Turn off the song that says,

"I need you and you need me." Roll your eyes at the line that says,

"I forgive you again because I love you." Ladies, never confuse love with manipulation. I harbor such intense animosity for this romanticized abuse. Second chances are a beautiful thing, a necessary thing, but the moment he raises his hand he has proven who he is, and you better get the hell out. That is not something you wait around and hope changes. Forgiveness is not always love. Sometimes it is utter stupidity, a lie you tell yourself so you can chase an ideal you made in your mind. This music, these movies, they make the "bad boy" seem soooo great. If a man doesn't take the time to see you and appreciate you, then do not place him on a pedestal. Together let's kill this notion of mistreatment as flirtation. Give the females back their value that should be chased and honored. Pay attention to the words he gives you, because they've been fed the lines to say. Don't let yourself get trapped into a situation where you need to stay with him--YOU DON'T. Really, you don't. If you let him disrespect you then you are disrespecting yourself. You are saying it is okay for a man to treat a woman like that, and I don't know about you, but I've had enough of the patriarchal rule, the rule by strength of body and volume of voice. Let us take our rightful place, not as crutches for the males, but as beautiful, strong lifemakers. We're programmed to bond and that is no weakness. Let a man call us weak and we shall rise together in reply.

I can feel his thick but soft skin.

I can feel his overwhelming warmth.

I can feel his calm but watchful eyes.

I can feel the kisses that fall down my shoulder.

I can feel his strength wrapped around my waist.

I can feel him muttering "wonderful" on my neck.

I can feel his muscles relax completely.

I can feel his adoration as he falls asleep.

I can feel it all,

But is it real?