I went to write about colors today and then I forgot because something else came up in my mind but I forget what the something else was.

I do remember the color thought though.

Well, the lack of color.

I thought to myself, standing in my kitchen, that I am gray. But I am not gray. Gray is sad. Thunderous. Stormy. Gloomy. An approaching storm.

I’m not that.

I’m just nothing.

But I’m not clear. Not see through. Not sheer.

That would be clean and gentle and angelic.

I’m nothing. But I have to be a color.

That’s the point of what I’m writing.

So, my color, it’s ones of flesh waiting to become dust. It’s what I’m trapped in.

There are times I wish I was a boy, only because of all the times that I have been grouped with the boys or the men due to my name. That wish only lasts a minute until I get a room by myself.

I am a female, and I don't personally wish to know what its like to be a male. There is alot of things that society does not teach males about females. I do not wish to know the secret horrors that males have to go through that no one teaches us.

I bet you are confused that my first statement I said boy/girl and the second I said male/female. The reason why is simple. I do not believe that gender and sex are the same things.

The reason why is a simple thing. Everything in this world has been catergorized by how it functions and how it functions with the others. We give them the label "sex" for the function. Reproduction, and how the lifeform grows to complete this function. Gender is connected to what we as people think of what a person is when we say boy/girl/man/woman. Do we think about the hormones in the body that is built? How the organs develop? What changes to make way for certain organs? What weakness happen because of that? These things make marked changes, permenate changes. These changes will make a person different on a biological sense.

How a person's hair is styled, what kind of color they can like, and what they are dressed like is not biological. It is how the culture shapes a person based on what they want a person to be, the roles they fulfill, and what they want the person to want. That is NOT biological. Like names, they change overtime with the ages. They flip when the cultures switches values and they are only attractive when the culture deems it to be. The prizes and the punishments are also assigned by what is and isn't acceptable by that person's role. That is also not based on sex. A person's sex will not determine if they are more or less guilty of a crime. But a culture can and will decide it.

Our culture that buys everything wants to put a price on everything, including things that are natural to a person. They want to package and resell you your own idenity, and the easiest thing will be to link two things that should not be linked.

I might sound crazy but this is my own thoughts. There are those that do not agree with me and that is fine. This is just me and me thought of gender