Smiles

It all started with a smile

One simple, human gesture that represents happiness and innocence

So much was said in that one smile.

A smile that I could pick out in a room full of them if I were asked to.

A smile that, when given time, evolved into much more.

Smiles came to greetings. Greetings came to words exchanged.

Words exchanged grew more and more until a friendship bloomed.

And what a friendship we had.

Inside jokes. Facetiming at 3:00 am. Sharing our music until our tastes were the same.

Video games that we played, even though God knows how bad I am at them.

Cookies at midnight.

Bonfires and late night therapy sessions.

I don't know why I was so shocked when I felt something new.

It was a Tuesday, and we were walking home from school.

You were talking about your dogs, and how you loved them so much.

I was thinking about you in the same way. Smiling like the day that we met.

It didn't take too long for you to realize.

And then friendship became love.

We talked. We danced. We kissed.

We did the same thing that friends did, but somehow, it was better.

Until it wasn't.

You never pressured me to do things like that when we were friends.

Your love was never conditional when we were friends.

When we were friends, you always took "no" as a legitimate answer.

I guess what we had wasn't enough for you.

You wanted more.

You wanted what I couldn't give you.

We fought. We screamed. I cried. You left.

My music, which used to fill me with happiness, now leaves me empty and alone.

The taste of chocolate chip cookies tastes like the burn of your harsh words.

The words we used to laugh at seem like a slap in the face and a kick to the gut.

Now, 6 months later, I am left pondering about what remains.

The ashes showering to the ground of what used to be a beautiful relationship.

I often think about that smile. That symbol of happiness.

Because of you, it means so much more.

A smile is meant to be something beautiful and sweet.

But then again, how could something so bitter stem off from such a gesture.

You have taken away my smiles, and left me with something much darker.