Shards of a Coffee Mug
Micah’s bare feet padded on the cold floor as he poked his head into the mess hall. Captain Thomas was sitting at the table with two other crew members, Lea and Henry. Lea was fiddling with a fork, a plate of untouched green food in front of her. Henry was sleeping at the table, and while the Captain would have usually awoken him, the whole crew knew that Henry hadn’t been sleeping well lately.
Micah slowly pulled out a chair, wincing at the slight scratching sound it made on the metal floor. Henry lifted his head off the table slightly and mumbled something, but Lea just whispered “Go back to sleep” and laid him back down. The three sat in silence for a while, intermittently staring at each other and back down at some spot on the table.
“Finally decided to join us?” The Captain said to Micah, punctuating the quiet with his heavy voice. Micah knew he hadn’t meant it to be a jab, but it felt like one.
“Sorry.” He whispered. The Captain didn’t push any further.
Micah stared across the table at a leftover mug sitting nearby Henry’s elbow. It was blue, speckled with white, and it was fairly large. Micah realized whose mug it was- Daniel’s. He wondered why it had been left out.
His eyes locked in on the coffee stains spilling over the edge of the cup. He could almost see Daniel sitting at the table with the rest of the crew, cracking jokes and holding the mug filled with that black coffee he liked to drink. He always complained about how the coffee would never be as good as it was back home.
Micah found himself worrying that the mug was going to grow dirty. He watched it carefully, as though it was a rare animal about to escape his eyes.
And then, suddenly, Henry moved. He stirred a bit at first, with only Lea noticing, then he abruptly sat up. Tears were trickling down his face, which now bore a red patch on the right cheek from lying on the table. His elbow splayed out as he awoke, and Micah watched as Daniel’s blue mug fell, almost in slow motion, to the floor. The shattering noise filling the room and echoed off the metal, only causing Henry to cry harder. He buried himself in Lea’s shoulder as Captain Thomas stood up from the table.
The Captain said nothing as he moved to collect the pieces of the mug from the floor. Lea was looking directly at Micah, who could feel his own tears forming in his eyes. He wiped them away, fighting the urge to break even after Henry had given in.
Micah got up and walked over to the Captain as he picked up the last few pieces of glass. He grabbed a large chunk from the table, and shoved it into his pockets. He ignored the stings of the leftover porcelain on the soles of his feet, and walked out of the mess hall.
galaxy girl
i want to be your galaxy girl.
i want to watch the stars swirl in your eyes and trace the constellation freckles on your cheeks.
i want to run my fingers through your cosmos curls and feel the sunspots dance on my skin when you hold my hand.
i want to be the supernova that pulls you apart
and puts you back together
because the big bang was real and it was your soul exploding into star dust ash!
your solar wind whips at my face but i don’t mind the burns anymore
if it means that i get to see the comets streak through your eyes.
your cosmic beauty fuels my molten core
raging with emotions that is burning me from the inside out.
and everything in my head revolves around you
because of your sheer gravity
and i will never get tired of being locked in orbit around you.
you are a special kind of universe never seen before,
a star filled space that outshines everything;
but you are the haley’s comet to my green planet
and I don’t want to have to wait seventy five years anymore!
i am your icarus
but instead of the sun i am flying into the black hole that you never taught me how to resist!
cold phantom hands wrap around my lungs
and i can feel your halo of warmth slipping from my grasp
but still all i can think of is you!
your warmth and your light is the only thing keeping from freezing over
until suddenly i feel myself burning up again!
you try to save me anyway which is the worst gesture
because you know it isn’t safe for you to go this far into the dark
and i don’t want you to burn yourself up for me!
i am not worth the death of your starlight;
so don’t shine for me.
don’t let me be your galaxy girl;
i don’t deserve that golden title.
don’t let me rip your stars apart
because i want you to still be beautiful even when i’m gone.
i am a dark galaxy devoid of life and light
and i don’t want to be the one
to color inside the lines of your stars with a black marker.
Handwriting on the Wall
PART ONE: CITRUS SWANS
Dive Bomb was packed.
There were patrons at almost every table in the bar, but Audie chalked the crowd up to it being Saturday night.
It was almost nine o’clock, and that meant Audie’s shift was almost over. Just as he was ready to clock out a couple minutes early, a group of girls entered the bar. Surprisingly enough, he found that he recognized most of them from his university’s soccer team.
Audie glided through the crowd over to them, determined to serve these girls and get out as soon as possible. He sat them down at a table in the far corner of the room. They talked all the way across the floor, and Audie wasn’t even confident they had all followed him.
The soccer team ordered their drinks, and soon over half of them had abandoned the table to dance. They left almost full drinks on the table, and Audie couldn’t blame them- Dive Bomb wasn’t exactly known for their selection of poison.
Of the two girls remaining at the table, one of them pulled on the other’s arm.
“Come on, Juliet.” She begged. “Have some fun!”
Juliet shook her head, and something in Audie’s brain clicked. He had thought her bouncy hair and tasteful use of orange accessories were familiar, but now it all came back to him.
“Juliet?” He asked, as the other girl ran off into the crowd. Juliet looked up from her drink and looked at Audie, confused.
“It’s Audie.” He said, gesturing to himself.
“Oh my God, it’s been so long. I didn’t even recognize you.” Juliet exclaimed, smiling.
Audie laughed. “It’s only been three years.”
“That’s long enough.”
The two stared awkwardly down at their hands for a bit as the music pumped on around them.
“So do you wanna catch up?” Audie asked.
“Don’t you have to work?”
“I get off in a few minutes anyway. No one’ll even notice.”
Juliet picked up a discarded straw wrapper from the table. “So what’s up with you?” She asked.
“Well, I have a job, obviously,” He said, gesturing to his apron. “And I’m studying music now, and if I’m not mistaken I’m doing it at the same university as some of your friends.”
Juliet nodded. “Yeah, a lot of them are studying something arts-related.”
“So what are you doing?”
“Studying sports medicine.” Juliet said. “And I’m still playing soccer.”
“Where do you go to school?”
Juliet sighed. “You know my parents. Only the best, they decided.” Audie noticed how vague her answer was, but he didn’t push her.
He shrugged. “I’d take your parents over this job any day.”
By now, Juliet had finished what she was doing with the straw wrapper. She pushed it forward, and in front of Audie sat a tiny origami swan. He smiled.
“You still dating Scott?” He asked, fingering the small paper bird. Juliet’s smile faltered a bit, then returned.
“Yeah.”
Audie shook his head. “You serious?” She nodded. “God, Scott tormented everyone in highschool. Honestly, I can’t believe anyone’s still...”
Audie fell silent as he noticed Juliet’s uncomfortable fidgeting.
“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Audie said, leaning forward slightly.
She looked up. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for.”
PART TWO: PETRICHOR AND PENNIES
Audie wiped the cloth across the tables, occasionally turning his head to glance at his laptop on the bar. He had pulled up a soccer game, and even though he wasn’t watching it very intently, it still reminded him of Juliet.
He mopped up the remaining whiskey spilled on the table and grimaced at the wet feeling of the rag in his hands. He walked behind the counter, paused the soccer game, then wrung out the cloth over the sink before laying it over the side. The door of the bar squeaked open, and without looking up Audie gave whoever it was the customary: “We’re closed, come back later.”
“You’re not closed quite yet.” A familiar voice chimed. Audie turned around and leaned up against the bar.
“Hey, stranger.” He said, half-smiling. Juliet was standing a few feet into the bar, soaking wet. The water dripping from her clothes was beginning to create a puddle on the floor, one that Audie knew he would have to clean up later; but, strangely, he didn’t find himself to mind so much.
“I haven’t been around in a while.” Juliet said, peeling off her white fur coat and laying in on the back of a nearby chair to dry.
“I noticed.”
She walked a little closer to Audie, or so he thought. Really, her intentions at Dive Bomb after closing time were unclear to him.
“So what’s up with you?” Juliet asked, inching suspiciously closer to the far wall. At first, Audie didn’t realize what she could possibly want on that side of the bar. He spared a glance at it, and seeing the metal door leading to the basement he immediately knew.
“Tell me you’re not going down there.” He asked, sliding quickly around to the other side of the bar and approaching her. Juliet looked uncomfortably down at her feet.
“Answer me, Juliet. Is that why you’re here?” Audie demanded, jabbing a finger toward the door.
Juliet sighed. “Yes.”
Any semblance of Audie’s playful, friendly look dropped off his face. “Are you serious?” He almost shouted. “You’re going down there?”
“It’s none of your business, Audie.”
Audie grabbed her shoulder as she tried to head to the door. “Damn right it’s my business! You think I don’t know what goes on down there? You think I don’t hear it when I work the night shift? Do you know how much… blood comes out of that? How much unnecessary violence? Do you know about the shit that ends up up here?”
“Why don’t you quit your job if you hate it so much?”
“Because I need the money, Juliet! In case you were unaware, not everyone comes from rich families.”
“That was a low blow, and you know it!” Juliet huffed, pulled away from Audie’s grip.
“Yeah, I know, and I’m sorry, but I’m still not going to let you go down there.”
“That’s not your decision, Audie!” Juliet screamed. “I don’t need your permission to make choices!”
“It’s not about that!” shouted Audie. “I’m trying to protect you!”
A tense silence followed his words.
“I don’t need your protection.” Juliet finally hissed, spitting the last word. She reached for the doorknob as Audie watched, when suddenly the door burst open. Audie instinctively stepped back when he saw that Scott was standing in the doorway. He regarded Audie with a sneer, and pulled Juliet closer to him.
“I heard shouting. Did he hurt you?” Scott asked gruffly.
Juliet squirmed slightly. “Please, Scott, just leave him-”
“Did he hurt you?!” Scott yelled. When Juliet was silent, he grabbed her by her shoulders. “Answer me, dammit!”
“Yes!” Juliet shouted. Her eyes had closed out of fear, but when she realized what word had involuntarily come out of her mouth they opened in panic. Scott removed his hands from Juliet, and they curled into two white-knuckled balls at his side. Juliet grabbed desperately at his coat as he stalked up to Audie, who looked more betrayed by Juliet than scared of Scott.
Scott’s fist drew back, and before Juliet could stop him it was striking across Audie’s face.
He was on the ground in an instant, holding a hand to his face. He could feel the warm blood gushing from his nose, and he was sure it was broken. Audie looked up at Juliet, standing halfway behind her boyfriend. When their eyes met, Audie could see the sheen of fresh tears in her eyes. He was sure his were watering too, but for a painfully different reason.
Scott leaned down to Audie. “Don’t you ever hurt her again, understood?”
Audie didn’t answer.
“Understood?” Scott repeated slowly, each syllable armed with poison.
“Understood.” Audie choked out through his fingers. He coughed into his hand as Scott stood up and placed his hands on Juliet’s shoulders. Audie looked everywhere but into her eyes as Scott guided her down into the basement.
PART THREE: CONTRETEMPS IN A TAXI
The door to Audie’s taxi opened, and the cold rush of winter air stung his face. A woman in a brown fur coat climbed into the back seat of his car, and swung the door shut with a slam.
“Where to, ma’am?” Audie said.
“Audie.”
Audie’s head whipped around at the familiar voice. He hadn’t recognized her at first, but even though she had shorn off most of her hair and was covered in heavy makeup, he knew exactly who was sitting in his taxi.
“Juliet?” He hadn’t meant it, but his tone betrayed his feelings.
“Oh God, Audie.” Juliet’s eyes traveled down his face and landed on his nose, which sat at a crooked angle it hadn’t been at before. “Your nose.”
Juliet watched as his expression changed in that split-second from forgiving to disappointed to hurt, finally settling on emotionless. Juliet could see the turmoil in his eyes, and it tugged at her heartstrings painfully.
“Don’t even mention it, Juliet.” Audie said coldly, turning around to stare at his dashboard.
“Audie, I’m sorry.”
“That’s new.” Audie snipped.
“Excuse me?” Juliet said, crossing her arms.
“The whole time I’ve known you Juliet, the whole time…” He turned back around to look her in the eyes. “It’s always been me apologizing. I’ve always been the one…” His voice cracked and trailed off.
“Audie, can we just talk-”
“I always thought it was my fault…” Audie muttered. “Even when Scott broke my nose, even when he managed to get me fired- I thought it was somehow my fault.”
“Audie.” Juliet leaned forward slowly, speaking softly. “It was never your fault.”
Audie moved as far away from Juliet as he could in the small car. “Get out.” He whispered.
Juliet didn’t move.
“Get out, Juliet.”
“Audie, please.”
“Get the fuck out of my car!” Audie shouted suddenly, slamming his hands down onto the wheel. The resounding honk clashed against the noise of the city outside the car, and several nearby heads turned.
Any hope Juliet had was dashed. She wrapped her coat tighter around her body, then pushed the door of the taxi open and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
“You know where you can find me.” Juliet said, her voice dripping with regret and disdain. “If you even want to.”
She slammed the door shut, and Audie watched as she disappeared into the crowd on the sidewalk. Audie’s breath hitched when he lost sight of her, and he sat for a moment in silence before reaching into the glovebox. He pulled out the small paper swan Juliet had made for him the night they reconnected and closed his fist around it, determined to forget.
