China Doll in the Junkyard
I was GIVEN the name "Jessie"
So they put me in skirts
to take the space of a pretty RHYME
in honor of all of the mothers and godmothers who survived
THEY choked me with bluebells and rubber Polly Pocket
with LINES of sheet music at my recitals
this is how my parents invited SAFETY
to our FINE Christian suburb
good immigrant
I would MULTIPLY a RIVER of proper melodies for them
and sing pink dreams that were not mine
because I never knew Hera Syndulla was a PILOT
instead I learned that Mulan could save China
by pretending to be a boy
I WRITE to my memory of Für Elise
and curtsy on the tape for polite applause
standing an INCH from girlhood
or was it SILENT performativity?
I thought to DIVIDE myself:
GRADE A ballerina Cinderella
"Tomboy"
he dared to WHISPER
so I made his eyes roll against the BRICK
and REPLY, "I am" with wrought-IRON HEIGHT
braver than
BIGGER and
bolder than