we’re in the same room,

five feet apart to be exact.

yet it’s filled with gloom,

feels like i’ve been attacked.

i don’t know about you,

but this hurts more than anything.

is the only way out through ?

what am i even seeking ?

maybe i should change my angle of view,

because i feel as though i am bleeding.

so withdrew.

my memories of you; they are fading.

can we rendezvous ?

i desperately need to find my way back to you.

can i stick myself to you ?

like glue,

never to be subdued.

you tell me what i wanna hear.

you whisper sweet nothings in my ear,

but the second you’re gone i want you back here.

you tell me one thing but mean another,

which can only leave me to wonder.

who are you really ?

because despite what you say,

i think i’m going to be left looking silly.

you call me yours,

but that goes in and out like the shores.

i believe there’s a disconnection,

you want sex but i want affection.

how was there such a misconception ?

maybe it was by my indiscretion.

i suppose i have to let these feelings go,

hide them away so they don’t show.

i’m sick of feeling like just an option,

guess i shall proceed with caution.

part of me wants to try again,

although i know there will be no dividend.

it must end.

this empty feeling inside,

slowly eating me alive.

suddenly crying myself to sleep at night.

how do you cease the pain ?

it will remain until i am no longer sane,

chipping away at my brain.

positivity fades to doubt,

i find myself going without.

similar to a drought.

unanswerable questions pin balling through my head,

almost making me wish i were dead.

however,

i am not selfish enough to make my wish a reality.

so i will continue living life absently.

wondering how you’re doing without me.

waiting for time to pass,

hoping my wounds will heal at last.

forevermore waiting for the true smile i never wore.

you don’t know pain until you physically feel your heart break & shatter into a million pieces.

you don’t know love until someone sits down & takes the time to put it back together,

piece by piece.

then,

to your surprise,

when they’re through they take it and run with it,

making it their own.

because someone broke theirs too.

you don’t know yourself until you’ve been left without a heart,

and grown cold from loneliness and rage.

then,

someone with a heart in tact comes along...

pain never subsides.

it is never gone.

we only learn to cope with it,

until we find the next sucker as vulnerable and naive as we once were.

and unknowingly pass it onto them,

and run like hell before they comprehend what we’ve done.

and the pain is crushing.

heart crushing.

you are the breath in my lungs,

the air beneath my wings.

but now it’s like we’re speaking in tongues,

and grasping at strings.

you are the only thing that’s on my mind,

i’ve lost myself within you.

without you i feel as though i’m blind,

how can it be that we’re through ?

it breaks me that you no longer want me around,

your arms were my only safe place.

have i shut down ?

i feel like such a disgrace.

one day i thought i would be in a wedding gown,

but now i’ve lost all face.

will i ever be safe and sound ?

returning to your embrace.