A longing to return to a home you can’t

Or a home that only exists in your mind

A wish to leave your current land

And travel to a home so kind

You are tired of your situation

and dream of the perfect place

To live with no limitation

But that’s not the case

Everywhere you go is like a circle

Reliving the same events over and over

Wanting love and adventure eternal

But instead you just get colder

You want to feel alive

But all that's there is alone

Wishing someone could revive

This shell turning to stone

Not a soul to soften it

Stuck in this place

Suffering in silence

Feeling like the last of your race

It doesn't make sense

Why people don't love you

You continue your hiraeth

A longing that lasts all day and night

And for some until their death

Wishing for a home that’s right

Or just a friend would be nice

#loneliness #poetry #home #friendship #depression #longing #challenge

The lights of the city blurred in my vision as I stumbled through the night. I had taken what money I had begged for and bought as much liquor as it would allow. One last hoorah and a little bit of courage for what came next.

I reached my destination at the bridge and swung my feet over the edge so that I was sitting on the railing. I watched as my feet dangled over the water which reflected the street lights. My attention momentarily turned to the cars zooming by me. Maybe there was still a little bit of hope that someone would notice and actually care about what I was going to do, but no one even bothered slowing down.

I turned back to the water as a slight chuckle escaped my lips, and I couldn’t help but think, “why do I even bother holding on to hope? No one cares whether I live or die.”

That didn’t keep me from feeling a little bitter at the world for not seeing that all I needed was a little bit of encouragement. A little bit of help. A friend. Maybe, if I had that, I would be okay. The hope that I would find someone who cares about me had become a grain of sand in a vast desert. Nothing but a whisper in the wind.

What little hope I had left is what kept me sitting here on the rail wishing someone would stop and take my hand. It was time to let go of that hope. No one was coming. No one would ever say the words “I want you to stay.” When I let go of that rail, I was letting go of hope and embracing the end of my loneliness.

I did not go out with a bang. I left with a gentle cry that no one could hear. None except the young man who arrived too late and stood where I had just stood wishing I had held on to hope for just a moment longer.

#death #hope #loneliness #prose #challenge