I call your name, what seems to be a thousand times

but I called a thousand times too many

every call went to voicemail, as if i was calling you on the phone

after awhile I began to think that you were imaginary,

that i made us up in my head

but then I saw you one day and I gave you one last call

and when you didn’t answer

I finally understood the answer all along

I am afraid to love again

I am afraid to share myself with someone again

Opening up has became my number one fear,

When i used to freely let people in

Once you have been broken by someone who you deeply trusted and loved

You will eventually see life in a different perspective

You will be petrified to give your heart to someone

No matter what they promise

Friends nor Lovers

No one ever stays as long as promised

There will be a day where I won’t have to write my poetry because of you, because you have made me feel as low as low could go,

There will be a day where I won’t look at something familiar, and automatically connect it with you,

There will be a day where I won’t feel as lost as i do because i’m without you,

I strive for the day where I finally put myself first, where myself is finally enough for me

it’s hard to sit there and watch the person you love,

fall in love with someone else

it’s hard to see them move on, while you’re still stuck

the world keeps moving but your still holding on,

spacing off because you have no idea what to do next, wasting time thinking they’re coming back,

but you realize they are not

you’re hurt and they think that’s okay

If I had to use a word to describe how you made me feel

Vulnerability would be my top choice

You made me feel like a Sunflower in a field of Lilacs

You shut me out, now you’re gone

I felt lonely in the days I was surround by the ones who loved me most

and felt loved in the days where there was no one but myself and my thoughts

where there was nothing left to do but let them take over me until i realized the monster you have made

I have your name memorized, as if your name was the answer to every question on a test

I hear your name and i immediately turn around to see if it’s you being called

You have managed to get yourself trapped inside my thoughts, even if it’s been months since you’ve gone

Everything I hate, has turned into you, so i’m forced to love it

I no longer think about the things i used too

Now i’m stuck on one thing and it’s all about you

#you #youwereoncemyeverything