My Black Matters
Blood of my blood
Spilt in wide range fields
Staining the earth.
Crops grown and nourished
By the tears of the mothers and fathers of mine.
Snatched from the arms of our children
Placed in chains, cages and empty spaces.
Thought of as cattle
Meant to obey, work
No pay
Meant to bare children
Process repeat. Replay.
Forced to witness fatal brutality
"Your next"
The consequences if you intervene.
Our blood line thinned
Protestingly.
Then came different shades
The lighter us praised
Treated a little bit better
So we threw shade.
The compliant us
In our hands they place a bible or a whip
And sent us on a power trip.
Crowd control.
Manipulated and divided
See my people were never meant to be equal.
Still profiled, beat, killed
Our children snatched from our homes
Taken from our families.
Still denied complete freedom and equality.
To most we are the enemy, no good
Uneducated, and dangerous
To me
My black women are the nourishment, strength, the beauty, the love.
My black men are the foundation, protection, inspiration my elevation.
My black is beautiful.
My black is powerful.
My black matters.
Inconsiderate Mother
Maybe she doesn't understand
Her babies are the future
Their success should be the plan.
Someone once said it's easier
To mold or raise a little boy
Then a man.
And your baby girl needs you,
Someone to show her how to respect
Her self and protect her dignity
Not to just accept it, say fuck it and agree.
But HE was her first priority.
She did everything to keep him
Determined not to lose him.
She was into deep with a man unworthy,
Not once did he encourage her to
Be a better mother.
The hunger for attention depleted her faith.
She negotiated her love with the demons within,
Leaving her children to beg for her affection.
Abandoned and confused.
The desire for her own comfort
Cut into her motherly instincts.
Weaknesses became and amenity.
She let her children down.
And this is where the next cycle begins,
Or does it end?
Is loving and cherishing your children unconditional something that is taught? Or should it just come naturally?
What is love?
He loved her more than anyone or anything he has ever come across, As she loved him.
He dug deep to find the strength to hold back.
Resist the urge that was burning inside.
But he was weak.
She wept in the corner on the bathroom floor.
Blood ran down her forearm as she gripped her face
Crying historically.
The throbbing pain in her gut made her cringe
It was hard to move.
She woke to the smell of fresh cut roses.
The smell gave her a comforting feeling
But the site of the vibrant red flower changed her mood instantly
Reminding her of the blood she scrubed from her frail body the night before.
His conscience jabbed at him causing him to be overly attentive.
He place a single rose next to the plate of breakfast he prepared.
She limped slowly down the stairs
Her body ached with every step.
As she walked into the kitchen
he reached for a hug
She immediately jumped and covered her head.
His heart skipped a beat and his vision began to blur.
He simply kissed her on the forehead pulled out her chair and said
Eat.
Her bruised face reminded him that of his mothers.
The feelings he felt as a child rushed back to him all at once.
As he wept silently in his pillow, he began to contemplate his sanity.
She has come to the conclusion that he does it because he cares.
Although it hurts
She wants to feel his attention.
Her father never laid a hand on her mother
But the mental abuse was intense.
Infidelity, neglect, and self hate killed her slowly.
So her husband loved her more than her father loved her mother
Right?
They both walked the line of disfunction
At a fast pace
Till one night
He concluded he couldn't take it anymore.
He couldn't continue to brutalize his queen.
No self control.
He was ready.
Ready to Leave this world.
But
He was taking her with him, confident they will meet again.
She was his everything, as he was hers.
He walked into their bedroom
Gun gripped tightly in his hand
Holding it lightly behind him.
Ready.
She turned and their eyes met as he entered the room.
She smiled.
He smiled back.
She greeted him with a hug
Grabbing him around the waist
Tightly holding him as she laid her head on his chest.
She felt his heart beating at a rapid pace.
It made her feel a little uneasy.
He raised the gun and pointed to the back of her head
Finger on the trigger
Ready.
At that very moment she looked up at him and said
"Let's pray."
He looked at her with confusion in his eyes.
She grabbed his hand and lead him to the edge Of their bed.
Still hand in hand
They both kneeled down.
A single tear escaped as he pushed the gun under the bed.
And together they prayed.
For the first time they felt
Content.
Accomplished.
Safe.
The warm feeling they felt made them feel truly loved.
Complete.
For the first time they were one.
Noxious Emotions
Hiding behind the shadow my smile created
I cry.
As my tears leak into my blood stream
The lump I'm my throat thickens and uncomfortable thoughts begin to flood my imagination.
Breath I beg myself.
But I can't.
I feel as if I am submerged in a heavy layer of smog.
Although my beautiful smile is still valid
And my hugs are tight,
The storm in my heart turns my blood cold.
In a room full of people I feel alone, drowning in confusion.
When left in an empty space
I feel chills down my spine
Little did I know the devil crept up behind
Digging his nails in my back,
he whispers in my ear
Jump.
Eyes closed. Smile still pasted.
I take a step forward
At the last minute I hesitate.
I was able to catch the edge
Barley holding on
I try to pull myself up but my grip begins to weaken.
Next thing I know I'm surrounded by darkness.
Quickly I realize
I no longer exist.
Eternal Devotion
Can I be the maintenance to your soul?
Make sure your beauty continues to grow.
Can I be the reason you smile?
slide through and take your pain away
Can I be the highlight of your day.
Can I be the butterflies that make you flutter inside?
Can I nourish your mind with luxurious memories and
Wealthy emotions of joviality.
Can I caress your heart with the love of mine?
Love you till the end of time.
Can I be the temple where your body takes cover?
Protect and shield you from the insecurities of infidelity.
Can in polish your self confidence
And worship your flaws?
Can I be your happily ever after?
If you let me I CAN be
Your everything.
Chicanery stole my heart
I'm stuck between who I really am and who I think I should be.
The feelings that have been tugging at my sleeve, for him
I set free.
Silly me.
I stepped out of my zone
For the wrong identity.
Deception arose
But the hearts in my eyes
Disguised my sight
Masked the truth and lead my mind into an intense stream of euphoria.
There was no way to foresee
At that very moment the clock began to count down.
So intoxicated.
Judgement clouded.
Lustful thoughts of what could be kept me under.
Hints of actuality tapped at the window of influence that blinded me.
Soon my soul began to ache.
While my heart was still throbbing with emotions, pleading "no wait, give it time. I need more time."
Pain became my reality.
Desire depleted.
Sorrow numbed, reciprocity no longer necessary.
Reconcile vanished and acceptance became strength.
Just another case of mistaken identity.