When It’s winter
There's something about winter
When it snows
When the sky turns red and cobalt blue
The silence it brings
Its like every breath condensation is saying something
Speaking the unspoken
When the outside is so cold
That the soul starts warming up
from the memories and feelings
I walk outside
The crowded places as quiet as ever
I can hear the snowflakes landing on my dress
The cold burn of wind hitting my face
The sound of my boots walking on snow
I can feel it all
I tilt my head upwards
Snowflakes are now landing on my face
Gently
With care
The sandman
And one day
He accepted it
He threw the idea away
One day he woke up
Chopped some woods
Milked the cows
Worked on his old car
Played with his dog
Smiled at his friends
His heart was still heavy
He wanted her
But he knew now it wasn't the time
"Not now."
Thats whe he kept telling himself
But he really wished that the sandman would bring a dream for him
A dream where he was with her
His horse came to him
Pushing his houlder with his face
The horse knew
The dog knew
Even the cows
He watched the sunset
He realised that sometimes
The end can be beautiful too.
4 hours
"Just 4 more hours until my shift ends."
He looked at the sky above him
Dark blue sky with darker clouds gathering
A bim orange sun was going to sleep
He got lost in his thoughts
"Hey, I' talkin to you."
He came back to reality
"Sorry I was... what were you sayin?"
"I asked you what are your plans for tonight?"
"Nothin."
"Nothin?"
"Nothin."
"Ah come on man, what about some cold beer, maybe pick up some chicks."
He smiled at thought of that
"Not interested."
"Well... what are you gonna do? We don't have work tomorrow, you gonna waste all your weekend doin nothin?"
"I was thinking of asking her out actually."
"Oh... well thats awesome buddy. But didn't you say you don't think she's interested?"
"Well I gotta try."
"What changed?"
"Sky."
"Huh?"
"You see the sky? Look at the sun. It's not gone completely yet."
"And?"
"I think it might be a sign."
"Boy you're crazy."
"I don't know I just think today's different you know... I think im gonna see her today."
"What if you dont?"
"I think I will."
"How are you so sure?"
"In my talk with god today, I asked him if she's the one for me, I'll see her today."
"I wish I had some talks with god. But why today out of all days?"
"Today's my birthday."
"Oh man happy birthday pal! I'm sorry I forgot."
Then he saw her from the distance, walking toward where they were.
"Its alright... he didn't."
Stars and the moon
He sat on the hood of his old car
Kilometers away from the city
On top of the lovers hill
Navy blue sky was filled with colorful stars
He shut off his phone
Wind sang to him
Kissed his face gently
He opened up to the stars
And the moon was lookin at him from far away
What did he say?
Did he want anything?
Did he need anything?
Only stars and the moon know.
Do dead dream too?
Do dead dream too?
I see the posts that he... liked
Posts about future goals
Posts about next year being my year
Posts about the new sport bike thats coming
But he's not here anymore
All those things he wanted
He's not here to have them
Does he get them in the other side?
Will he be able to ride his new yamaha r9 there?
Will he be able to cruise around the streets while listening to softcore?
Will he be able to feel free again?
It left me wondering...
Do dead dream too?
Do they take their desires with them?
Or leave them for us to remember them by
Understanding
Thoughts hit my head like drops of rain
Each of them unique
Each of them with visions
Visiosn of past
Visions of future
I smile at some of them
Cry at some others
I hear things around me better
I see people
How beautiful they are
How different they are
Some are smiling
Some are crying
If I wasn't broken now
Would I've been able to see them before too?
If I didn't go through all that
Would I've been able to understand them?
Do they understand me?
Does it matter?
I see now
What I couldn't see before
Rain washes me
Makes me new
For me to understand
Everything that I'm going through.
Unexpected
She said our meet up was unexpected
But words have meanings
"Unexpected" is not a word to use, when you were waiting to see me
"Unexpected" is not a word to use, when you call our friend ten times to make sure I'm with her
"Unexpected" is a word for If I would've been numb to your presence
But I can't say that
I won't
I expected to lose myself at the sight of you
I expected to never want to let go of your hug
I expected to keep breathing your smell
I expected to want to kiss you
To tell you how much I've missed you
I expected to never see you again
So I don't feel those feelings
But I lied
To myself
To my friends
To my expectations
I don't know what I want
I don't know why your looking for me
I don't know why you said no to me, when I told you I liked you
I don't fuckin know anything anymore
Only this
Unexpected was earth not shattering that day
Unexpected was weather being sunny that day
Unexpected was everything being normal that day
Everything but us
Everything but me.
It didn’t go away
I thought the storm went away
Rain drops are racing to hit the earth
The cold burns my face a little
It's colder than usual In october
I stand outside the store
Watching around me
Thinking of things I could've done better
Things I should've done at different stages of my life
" I really could use a cigarrete now."
Suddenly I see you
There you are
Wearing that white dress
Hair as black as the sky without the stars
But you do shine like them
I see you walk towards the store
Towards me
I try to act cool
Do I come inside the store to help you?
Or do I let my colleague do it?
You say hello and my whole world stops
You stay close to me
Waiting for me to enter the store as well
But I can't do that
Not without telling you how much I love you
Not without telling you that I've been counting days for you to come
So I can only see you
And not express my feelings to you
I can't come to the store
You enter
I only watch you from outside
I thought It went away
My love for you
I thought It went away
Me making bad decisions
I thought It went away
My sadness for a day.
Tired
He finally arrived at home
8 hours shift flew by because of the hardship of today
Every muscle in his body was sore
He didn't even get the time to eat his dinner there
He ate it cold
Cold rice, cold chicken
He layed down
He felt "heavy"
But the soreness and pain wasn't the cause of that
He closed his eyes
Tears ran down
" I'm tired."