I was just sitting there when I realized. She had not left the house in days. We usually went out and played sports together. We ran and we hit softballs as far as we could see. We went downtown and we went to her mother's house because her mother did not live with her. Long story. Anyways, Andrea had not left the house and I could not figure out why. What do I know anyways? After all, I am just...a shoe.

I have always been what you call an old soul. I like old things such as old funeral outfits and the delicacy of a widow’s mourn in 1857 to her dead husband. My ora has always had death written all over it. I have never been much of a bright soul. My name is Bella Rose Carter and I choose to keep that to myself most of the time. When people know my name, they know who I am, when people know who I am, they know who my family is and in this small town that is not a good thing. I should give some backstops on my relatives and close family friends. My family for generations have been thought to be witches. Not the cool witches you see in movies and on TV, the type of with to make you want to hide under your covers at night from the blood wrenching fear that the witch will place some type of curse on you. The type of curse to make you family suffer from horrible deaths or your dog to contact measles or something crazy like that. I don’t know. Either way, my family is hated and nobody can know that I am a part of them. I live in Sun, Louisiana and I have lived here for 16 years of my life (which happens to be the whole thing) and my family has lived here for many more before that. Anyways, today is my first day of 11th grade at Northman High School and I am dreading this. It is hot and muggy outside so much that even my long black straight hair is frizzy and unmanageable. I straighten it with my hair straightening iron and spray some spray in it to keep it tame. Even though I am on the debate team, a straight A student, am on the chess team, and am in robotics club, I never seem to be noticed by anyone. My own parents even forget me sometimes. Anyway, I walk into school and things are going just fine. I take out my phone and look at it. 8:03 Monday August 7th, 2019. I check my notifications and there is nothing from any of my friends and I cannot find them anywhere. I sit on the floor in front of the lockers reading my book and playing with the shoe string on my 5 year old blue converse. I stand as the ball rings loudly to notify us all that it is the first class of the year. I have biology. I don’t mind biology because it sort of disproves the whole “witch, curse, thing”. I also enjoy learning about anatomy and how humans have very gross and bloody things inside covered by our bodies that show nothing but our desire that is so strong to be like everyone else. I never had that desire. I was the opposite. I guess the time has come for me to explain how I got into school without them knowing who my family was and the answer was simple. Lying. Lots of lying. How we choose to put ourselves out into the world and the image we create is our choice and if I choose to not put my image out into the world then so be it. Anyways, as I was walking through the hall into the cafeteria I feel someone almost jump on me and I automatically know who it is. It is my boyfriend, Bryce. He is the only one who knows about my family, the only one who’s seen my house, and the only one who knows my last name. I’d love to keep it that way. We walk together and get a salad each and a juice and he slides an extra juice he stole across the table towards me. Bryce always had this mysterious look and feel to him. Unlike everyone else I understood what he was about. He was mine and I was his. It was perfect.

I believe thougroughly that I belong right where I am. Here with him in this silent but very loud world of ours full of the deepest form of love and the shallowest forms of hate. Moving on. I have always been very great at math and I have always kept good grades in my math classes. This hour which was seventh and close to the end of the day, was the one I was looking forward to the most. This was the one class I had with Bryce and the one class I understood fully. Bryce on the other hand was not the best at AlgebraII so I would mentor him. We sat together and I showed him how to do the work that I had been able to comprehend years before hand. Also (not to break the fourth wall or anything) if you notice that there is absolutley no dialougue it is because this is my story, not a story of people speaking. Anyways, Bryce decided to come home to my house and my parents were not home at the moment because they were traveling to Djibouti to study some of the wildlife or something. Anyways, Bryce and I walked in and changed out of our outfits and into pajamas. Instead of doing what a normal couple would (wink wink) we watched old, mediocre horror movies on the couch until we fell asleep. No worry in the world; just Bryce.

I wake up to find Bryce not sleeping next to me and a note telling me he had gone home to do some things and I decided to get up and make breakfast. I never understoof why our school always started on a friday because we basically just have a day of school and then we have a weekend which is pretty counterproductive if you ask me. But you didn't ask me so I will decide to keep my mouth closed about that. I pretty much had the longest day I have ever had. I layed on the couch with nothing to do for the entire day.

I have always been what you call an old soul. I like old things such as old funeral outfits and the delicacy of a widow’s mourn in 1857 to her dead husband. My ora has always had death written all over it. I have never been much of a bright soul. My name is Bella Rose Carter and I choose to keep that to myself most of the time. When people know my name, they know who I am, when people know who I am, they know who my family is and in this small town that is not a good thing. I should give some backstops on my relatives and close family friends. My family for generations have been thought to be witches. Not the cool witches you see in movies and on TV, the type of with to make you want to hide under your covers at night from the blood wrenching fear that the witch will place some type of curse on you. The type of curse to make you family suffer from horrible deaths or your dog to contact measles or something crazy like that. I don’t know. Either way, my family is hated and nobody can know that I am a part of them. I live in Sun, Louisiana and I have lived here for 16 years of my life (which happens to be the whole thing) and my family has lived here for many more before that. Anyways, today is my first day of 11th grade at Northman High School and I am dreading this. It is hot and muggy outside so much that even my long black straight hair is frizzy and unmanageable. I straighten it with my hair straightening iron and spray some spray in it to keep it tame. Even though I am on the debate team, a straight A student, am on the chess team, and am in robotics club, I never seem to be noticed by anyone. My own parents even forget me sometimes. Anyway, I walk into school and things are going just fine. I take out my phone and look at it. 8:03 Monday August 7th, 2019. I check my notifications and there is nothing from any of my friends and I cannot find them anywhere. I sit on the floor in front of the lockers reading my book and playing with the shoe string on my 5 year old blue converse. I stand as the ball rings loudly to notify us all that it is the first class of the year. I have biology. I don’t mind biology because it sort of disproves the whole “witch, curse, thing”. I also enjoy learning about anatomy and how humans have very gross and bloody things inside covered by our bodies that show nothing but our desire that is so strong to be like everyone else. I never had that desire. I was the opposite. I guess the time has come for me to explain how I got into school without them knowing who my family was and the answer was simple. Lying. Lots of lying. How we choose to put ourselves out into the world and the image we create is our choice and if I choose to not put my image out into the world then so be it. Anyways, as I was walking through the hall into the cafeteria I feel someone almost jump on me and I automatically know who it is. It is my boyfriend, Bryce. He is the only one who knows about my family, the only one who’s seen my house, and the only one who knows my last name. I’d love to keep it that way. We walk together and get a salad each and a juice and he slides an extra juice he stole across the table towards me. Bryce always had this mysterious look and feel to him. Unlike everyone else I understood what he was about. He was mine and I was his. It was perfect.

**Unifinished**

It sits all around us

All around evrything

Space.

It holds the moon, the stars

but the mood and starts hold themselves.

The space is just there

like me

I am just here.

I will not be forvever though

unlike

s p a c e

Breath number one

Breath number two

Breath number three

Counting

Breathing

Loss

Screaming silently inside of my mind

Help.

Someone.

Anyone.

Breath number four

Breath number five

Breath number six

Numb face

Shaking hands

My heart begins to race fast

faster

faster

HELP

Screaming silently

The squeezing and relasing of her heart is becoming tiring

Tired

If that's the word for it.

Helpless

Helpless

helpless

h e l p l e s s

Finished

All alone I sit

Breathing in the cold rush of air

All the trees moving

Like slow dancers in the street of a festival

Looking

Watching

Silently panicking.

No breaths

No calm

And again calm.

I can breathe again slowly

As I look

No one around

Nobody

I'm

just

Lonely...