Sometimes I forget that I do not have multiple lives

I live as if God gives me no limit on my days but at the end of the day our days are not promised.

I know God is with me and for me and will guide me to what ever he thinks is best.

I am so mad at myself for all of the days I neglected or worrying way to much over things I could not control. I had way to much time in my hands because I was not really allowed to go outside because their were sketchy people outside. I had a terrible sleep schedule to a point I became sleep deprived I felt awfully sick. I would poor out my heart in soul to people which scared them away.I used to overthink to the point I thought I was bothering every one and I thought I was a nuisance just because how many times my mistakes were constantly brought up in the worst way every little thing I accidentally missed up on was brought up and it ate me up. I saw my grades as my worth and when ever my grade went slightly down I thought my future would be effected.I tried to take my life at such a young age and I am so glad I threw up all the pills I took because I would have missed out on so much opportunities and see so much and try all of these new foods and get to meet so many new faces.

Once I changed my mindset of being a better me in the most healthiest ways and to have a grateful heart and to live in the moment and to appreciate all the little things in life. I still have my struggles in life and how I see myself but I am better than I was before so that is progress and I am so proud of myself on how far I have come.

Dark clouds that filled the once bright sky were praying over my head, I was on a drive in my vintage mustang. I was driving in the silence filled air, She had failed me and broke down. I looked at my surroundings and spotted a corn field and a old red cracking two story home. I walked to the house to ask for some gas,I knocked on the door and a tall muscular man opened the door.The door had a door bolt he left the chain on. He looked really nervous he warned me to leave. Stubborn me would not leave because I could not go anywhere with out any gas. I stayed on the porch and heard something rummaging through the house and heard a loud mumbling.

The man was scared for what ever was inside the house.He slam the door and through a window I saw gun flashes from inside of the house. I ran back to my car and hid underneath my steering wheel. Then felt a huge crash on my car as if an animal hit my car. I rolled down my window and peeked to see what happen and saw tons of broken glass on the road. I stepped out of my car thinking what may have hit my car with so much damage. As soon as I turn around to hear what was walking towards me I get whacked in the head by a bat. I drop to floor being dragged inside the house. I saw a very blurry haze and blood was on my eyes. The man now on the floor dead. I was being dragged down a basement that was dark and so very cold. I got up and was scared that the lady would be back so I searched for any light and found a light and turned on the light that was above me. I felt a draft coming from this dark obis tunnel.

Slowly I walked through the dark obis tunnel anywhere to get away from her, but the lady was so upset that I left. It seemed as if she was afraid to go inside. I could not see so I used the wall to guide me. The wall had a rough bumpy texture that hurt my hands. I stumbled across a tool box and their was a flashlight inside and switched it on. I noticed when I had entered inside was like a maze but with pipes. I heard clashing as if someone was banging the pipes. I heard a loud noise that was not normal and had a monster like noise for when it came closer it gave a red light showing that it was near that was a tall black figure. I ran far away from the Thing and got lost in a dead end and came across this little girl that was crying.

Her face in her knees on the floor. I told the little girl that we would get out together and she nodded. The little girl had long brunet hair with a white gown.I held her hand that was as cold as ice. I went through the tunnel and holding the little girls hand the Thing was coming closer. I could hear the Thing bang the pipes. I ran with the little girl towards this light that came from the outside it was an exit. I was so happy and telling her we made it out safe. I looked to notice that she was no longer there holding my hand. It was as if her soul was trapped inside the tunnel.I ran as fast I could into the fog following the road and saw myself running then I woke up.