What happens when three atoms
Split, separate, lose each other
In the big explosion?
They do anything to seek
One another. Anything to find
The hole missing from them.
Wandering through life unknowing
Why they feel incomplete.
What they did wrong.
Lives pass, fade, become
Distant memory and dream.
Rebirth into empty spaces.
They seek, not knowing what
They find, not knowing why
They feel complete, before finishing the puzzle.
The void filled until
The cycle runs itself again.
~ for you, my darlings.
Sometimes I'm feelin'
Pretty damn sure
These words I write-
Well.
These ain't my words,
As much as they're yours.
An' 'm somethin' certain
Somethin' deep in my bone--
It's tellin' me you
Are the way home.
We was certain
We thought we knew
You belong wi' me,
An' I belong wi' you.
We know we was som'in'
Somethin' long 'go
Some kinda whisper
The way the willa tree blow.
We was all sure,
sure as could be.
But we didn' know
How to sail that sea.
Three Times
I think I've been told about three times that everything is my fault. I always thought it was a bit of a silly notion, everything being blamed on me, but I don't think it was meant to mean every occurrence in the entire world. Rather, I think it meant why I continuously tend to fuck up my life.
That probably seems silly, too. How does one simply 'fuck up their life'? Well, it's quite easy. Insert a wonderful woman into a seemingly normal urban setting. Then add in a man, one that quite easily doesn't understand his own nature, or the dark streaks deep in his eyes. Let them meet - played out coffee house, that seemed appropriate at the time. Where better to meet up with a pretty lady when you grew up in the hipster age?
Now input love. It's easy enough, too - dopamine, hormones, quiet laughter, snuggling on cold nights. Really, there's nothing hard about any of this, is there? Let's go back to the man in our idea, in our fantasy world. Take one argument, something small, something dumber than Hell on wheels, something so insignificant it could never matter.
"I fucking hate you, Eliza."
That's all it takes, right? All it takes is a seed of doubt, and it grows, and its roots latch down deep in grey matter, and there you have it. One fuck up that could ruin a life. One fuck up that could begin a downward spiral.
One fuck up that I never fixed.
It's hard to say suicide is ever anyone's fault, other than the one that commits it of course, but I have to say I probably had a hand in this one. The Domino effect hit me real hard, deep in my gut, made it so I couldn't breath.
My name is Pendragon Maddings, and I might as well have held that knife to her gut.
There Aren’t Many Things
To do, when there is nothing at all
No four walls, no stars, no trees to gaze upon.
They all existed in an imaginative mind
With no name.
Boredom is what happened, here,
Not that anyone knew what it was,
Not that anyone was there to name it,
Not that anyone existed to care.
Love is what happened. I enjoyed it.
I liked the colors, the stars, the Earth.
I really liked the Earth. I was inspired by myself.
I created Human.
Humans were wonderful, honestly
The idea to think and create freely was brilliant,
if I do say so myself.
They made. They lived. They thought.
I sat back and relaxed while lifetimes passed,
While they had ideas, and ideas from old ideas,
While they named everything, while they
Built themselves and co-existed with my other things.
Darkness painted around a bright light,
Sprinkle a little of what they called 'white'
Stars. They studied them, the patterns I made,
Saw their own.
I loved Human. Some Humans loved me.
Some Humans hated me.
All Humans blamed me
but I only gave them the ball.
Then it was their roll.