Descent
I miss you like the ocean must miss the rain. I miss you like you’re a part of me that I’ve selflessly set free. I miss you like the ocean must miss the rain. Like the sky might feel such empathy that it lets my thoughts pull you from the clouds and back down into my arms. If only to let you go again. Ocean to rain.
A Recurring Dream
It was time for bed. The worst part of my day... night, whatever. I looked into my mirror and I saw the bags that weighed down my eyes. In that moment I didn’t wholly recognize myself as the hopeful twenty year old who had moved into her first apartment thousands of miles away from home to go to some snooty school on the east coast in hopes of living her American Dream.
And here I was. I had mostly unpacked my boxes, I didn’t have much to begin with. School wouldn’t start for another three weeks so at least I had that going for me, though I wasn’t even sure I would make it to the start of the semester.
I was so tired. Every night was the same fucking dream. I could never wake up. I couldn’t be awake constantly either, no matter how hard I had tried. Monsters, coffees, any form of caffeine wasn’t enough to stave off sleep permanently, and I was so tired.
Laying down in bed my back sunk into the mattress. I stared at the ceiling, with each passing minute my eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Until finally, sleep.
I was back in that same house I had woken up in every night for the past month. It was straight out of a horror movie; it was dark and almost was completely grey. There was out dated wallpaper that was peeling off the walls. There were cracks in the floor boards and a wail emanated through the house.
I was crying. At first I never cried, not even when everything was hopeless, but everything was different now. I woke to this nightmare feeling hopeless. So hopeless. Alone. Afraid. Then there was a scream. Sharp. Piercing. And cut short.
The windows were cracked, some of them missing glass completely. Wind began to pick up, blowing dust into my face. I wiped the tears away and somehow found the courage to open my eyes. I had to get out of this house.
A scratching noise made me whip around, yet there was nothing there. Sweat dotted my forehead and out every other pore on my body, yet I was cold. My left foot moved forward, the floorboard creaked under my weight and I knew I fucked up.
Everything stopped. The wailing. Those hauntingly short screams. The wind. The scratching. All was still. All was quiet. Except for my own beating heart. As quickly as everything had stopped did it start up again, though this time there was a fury that shot such a piercing arrow of fear into me I remained unable to move.
The door of the room began to open. I knew what was coming. It was the cause of all my misery; the ghosts or demons that haunted this place. I did not know what it truly was nor why it did this, but I knew it was the cause of my fear and my pain. It was a pale yet shadowy figure that was humanoid. Its hands were forever on its face as though it was surprised. Eyes and mouth were the same void areas that I avoided looking into.
It stepped into the room; I was cornered. It took one step. Then another. And another. I shook. I screamed and ran, past that thing and through the door. The creature never moved with great speed. The hallway was no great place to be, though. Doors lined either side. To my right was a dead end and to my left lead to the rest of the floor. It would lead to the kitchen. There was a time I thought the kitchen was my best bet at survival, yet knives did nothing against the wraith that so tormented me.
Move, my mind was working but my legs weren’t. This reality was no reality for meandering. I ran into the room across from the one I just left and the wraith walked from the corner of the room towards me. It’s hand ever pressed to its cheeks.
I screamed and shut the door. I ran to what was now my right; towards the kitchen, yet when I ran through the hallway I went into a room that was identical to the other two. My body was shaking I spun the whole way around; the kitchen was gone. When I looked at the back wall there it was.
Scream. Run. I’m in the hallway. I can’t be sure but it looks like there is one less door to go into than before, and behind me is another dead end.
Open the door closest to me. Wraith. Scream. Leave. Repeat. I’m running out of doors, they keep disappearing until I run into the final door. The thing is there. I turn to leave but the door is gone. I’m stuck. I can’t hold back the tears any longer. They spring to my eyes and run down my face. I had unknowingly been keeping my entire body tense this whole time and I finally let myself go, and dropped to my knees.
“Why?”
“I am fear. I feed on it, and you, child, are only fear,” it’s voice was dark and gravelly. It walked towards me, but I didn’t have the strength to move. It was right in front of me. It removed its hand from its face and touched mine.
It was like electricity was shooting through my entire body and in my ear there was a ringing, like the sound it makes when someone is flatlining. But it kept getting louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I jumped up. I was in my bed. I was absolutely covered in sweat and my sheets certainly needed to be washed. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. It’s just a dream, just a dream. He can’t actually hurt me, I had to keep repeating that to myself or I felt like I was going to lose my sanity. I began to run the shower water, but this burning sensation began to grow on my cheek. I stood up and walked to the bathroom mirror. It was a burn in the shape of a fingerprint