remember I once said that I can feel, sense and perceive about individuals; pick up their good and bad vibes, even from a brief interaction? and, of course, I always beware or walk away fast whenever I feel something about them is off. I hate to admit that I never wrong about this one.

•

now, you see? he traps you in his web of lies. he screams his self-justification at the top of his lungs, but it’s your silence that screams louder.

•

you see? he always tries to make you think what he wants you to think. he doesn’t love you. he only loves the reflection of himself in you.

when you stop being what he expects you to be, he explodes to create emotional debt.

when you stop seeing what he wants you to see and start analysing the situation, he guilt trips you. it’s that simple.

•

he always tells you how to react, what to say and what not to say, you ask him many questions and question his intention in your head, and now you’re the one who is deemed irrational. you can never be the voice of reason to rewire his brain. he thinks he can control your bloody mind and attitude....can you fucking see?

•

you could feel something would happen between him and her long before you learnt his empty love confession to her.

he’s the one who denies, but the truth speaks differently.

he’s the one who breaks the mirror, then wonders why everything doesn’t look the same anymore.

he’s the one who stabs you in the back,

then blames you for hurting him.

•

it’s never about you. it’s always all about him. his love is cheap and based around lies. still, he wonders why you change and thinks you know nothing.

•

he shows his true colour

while my colour fades

and you’re not his only one.

•

you think he takes your breath away but you are simply suffocating from his bullshits

... and I’m not the only one.

— Mapping Satanic Circle And The Origin Of My Evil

https://youtu.be/nbiWNAbB-y0

Pic: ©Laura Makabresku

Līvidum

•

o’ midnight blue

churned up the lucid view

of future shaped by shattered past

forever that never lasts

written in our stars

that shone through you

in my midnight blue

and mem’ries could only go so far

o’ midnight blue

unbeholden its darker hue.

•

https://youtu.be/AvIqrVofq9U

Sola Luna

•

the moonlight dance

upon her velvet skin

down to the forest floors

in the cold autumn night

when he sought gentle warmth

between her rosebud lips

as she touched his heartstrings

with her electric fingertips

and drank poetry

straight from his lips;

she left him speechless

so he made her howl

entwined, to the depths of their soul

and she made him growl

before the moon grew dimmer

and darker shade of magic fade

before old owl went back to its roost

and the morning birds sang to the Sylvan

Gods

before fox spirit of Sigyn

stopped chasing light and shadow

and the olde mage woke up to bless their

kin.

•

golden fallin’ leaves stopped in midair

and tale of deep forest were told

by moonstruck lovers eyes

before magic hour started floating away

and left nothing but her sweet musk scent

embedded in his dew-drenched skin.

•

11.19

Pic: ©Shelby Robinson

Veritas

•

see the world through repercussion

through bad action in justification

trip over an illusion

to gain more validation

or seek admiration

in the land of manipulation

where each life decision

is made without clear vision

in the wrong direction

so lost in contradiction

for real truth’s a mere fiction

defeated by self-deception

hides behind false good intention

dissent stirs strong reaction

spit of hate over self-reflection

reinforces a pleasant division.

something’s off with sweet disposition

but once again, gut feelings work with

precision

between the lines full of blurred definition

at last one soul is saved from pseudo affection.

•

Pic: ©Laura Makabresku

Vice Versa

•

subtle hints of blade’s keen

glittering chiseled edges

planted in the chest

stirring vague sense of

belonging somewhere down

in the guts

feelings long-gone

gone with the wind

when days carried on

bearing the pain

of things untold

gasping for lifeless air

in lively world of the dead

beneath sinking skies

where stars crumbling

into your callous gaze

over the web of lies you spun

and for once, i belong to you

when nothing left for us to hold on to.

•

22.09.19

Pic: ©Laura Makabresku

https://youtu.be/4fj9ZoUr1XA

Arcadia

•

night sky lies bereft and bound

my fingers, cold and tired still,

tracing the fading stars

in one final attempt

to pull myself closer

to wherever home is

through the dark clouds

and distant emotions

that linger high in the air

and my lips, cold and puckered,

whistling melody of the dust

for all things i’ve lost

across the seas

across the lands

and for all things

yet to be found

in me, in you, in us

and for all of you i’ve missed

what stories would the wind tell you?

i wonder, as i clench shifting sands anew

while the world starts waking up

into a hollow dream,

i step away from that sleepless night

to somewhere we don’t belong

with seashells in my pocket

and ocean air in my lungs.

•

Somewhere

23.09.19

5:15 AM

https://youtu.be/wwI8ZLEMtRE

Oceania

•

here i am again

where the sands of time

stand still

and our footprints

have long been gone

washed by the ocean

that once pulled you

into its wondrous depth

and harshly erased

our wildest dreams

in those endless summer days

when you and i entwined

under the spell of the golden light

reflecting off our rolling waves.

now i close my eyes

to see what you saw

as september breeze

whispers

the sound of our silences

beneath my breath,

eases

years of heavy tears

so i let you go

for the first time of my life

i open my eyes

when the sun sets

over the horizon of our past.

•

my tiny star is forever yours.

•

Somewhere

22.09.19

https://youtu.be/n2sj3m6AUVk

Grey sky races overhead,

the wind blows across the troubled clouds

to the barren hill

where I stand upon.

It weaves

between my folded hands

and I get lost in the waves of thickened grey

where distance has unfurled its wings

As every shadow whispers your name

We soar apart,

whither the wind blows the silence further afield

Yet I see you still

when the lightning flashes across my sky,

you breathe the roaring storm

that once raced through my aching spine,

and swirled ’round my splintered rib.

I feel you still, clinging on by your fingertips.

Pic: ©Laura Makabresku

something was turning around in his mind, a thought, a scratch that he couldn’t reach

having sight but the shadows painted blind

mirrored the voices, shackled in speech

defenseless against the darkness that crawled under his skin, soft flesh was tormented by disease

echoed the pain within,

hurling over thousand shades of unease

the nightmares had returned, sleepless nights filling his veins with guilt and dread

shapeless moments quickly got burnt, fomented creation of hell inside his head

insanity knocked on the doors, vile tongues as if shattered glass floating in his bloodstream, payback was signed by demon himself

chunks of flesh scattered around the heaven floors, all rotten souls preserved soundless scream and lost their ways in classic death fermentation before the twelve

he fell to the floor, limbs twisted and bent, angels and demons both calling his name, what he had done, left a mark, an edge cutting knife under the skull

tracing old war, when everything was never meant, days of glory, like a dying flame, barely lighted up his lifeless hull

redemption, the angels sang,

cleaned your wounds, mended the broken bones

shouted out the holy light,

confused, he tried not to hear

devoured by the sins —

a luscious delight of the impending doom

damnation, the demons sang,

crawled across my ground, unleashed my hellish moans

soared high in the hollow night

where benevolence was left abused,

“now, clench  your fear

dig deep into your wounded skin

strain your eyes, peer into the gloom”

the night drifted into a finale

yet the nightmares were reluctant to quit

cemented into his subconscious, ruthless killers of faith

body squirming, muscles in spasms

*another day arisen, foul sinner*

find your hope

or the endless turmoil of torments shall never end

something was turning around in his ever-fleeting reality,

a bottomless pit with its troubled wit

which smothered him senseless

so brilliantly obnoxious, a persephonic wraith

in symphonic bastardisation of his scriptural orgasms

taunting the angelic brigadier into existence in a dewlit morning like a pompous winning loser

walking the notochord of corporeal slob —

the lone(ly) sheep-clothed wolf barely felt content.

•

Anarosewood

&

Carpe Noctem

•

July, 2019

•

an anthem of any uprising —

(c)omposition four is the best key in perfect notation; ear-blasting and heart-wrenching.

spitting chorus of (viva la) revolution

might never make a big hit in top 40 chart

where the war for the safest space

or the space of the safest war

preserve the relevance

for those untrained ears

that fail to listen to concealed fears

beyond the 40(s) in (un)popular culture

ever since the rats banned sprangle of humanities branches

before a man could find his (f)ucking key in bloody battlefield

before you or i or they finished counting the stars

in the tombstones or in our skies

but, power is a mental state and age is merely a number after all.