I typically connect with clients and many friends by email, text, and phone. Some things haven’t changed with physical distancing. People are still looking for work, writing, and connecting. Some things have changed. I’m not writing in my writing group, seeing my grandkids, and meeting with friends in person. The funny thing is, when things slow down and I have time to write, my writing mind seems to slow down also.

This morning I got up at 5:00, not my usual hour, and decided to write. I found TheProse.com again. I hadn't looked at the site in months. I decided to write on the Prose Challenge: "You’re living on the street and you want it to end." On a cold dark morning alone in my office I came up quite a story. My Clean White Bones came to me as quite a surprise. I didn’t realize I could conjure up such despair. https://theprose.com/post/344323/my-clean-white-bones

I want to thank everyone at The Prose for inspiring me to imagine such a dire destiny. It is amazing what a writing community can inspire. Maintaining connections to writing communities, friends, and family has helped me stay socially connected while maintaining physical distancing.

Writing, walking, and reading alone then connecting using all the great tech available is keeping me social.

#notstressingout #physicaldistancing #socialconnecting

I feel the tugging, pulling. Not again. I was almost warm for one night. Never safe but a little warm. The cold is painful. It has nowhere to go and it doesn’t end. I hold on tighter to the soft tattered edge of a sleeping bag given to me by a stranger. The scent of kindness lingers in the bag until hard claws wretch it from me.

Icy veins of fear slice through my body as the last hints of sweetness slither away. I’m cold. I feel naked on the hard cement. I thought I found a safe corner. It is gone. It’s just me alone in a thick black world sucking me into a deep dark hole. The painful feelings that pressed against my face and welled up in my eyes are gone. Emotions are crusted over; now brittle and dry. There is no real reason I ended up here. No one noticed as I shrank into despair. No one will notice when I am gone.

I can see my clean white bones bleached by the crisp clear sun. In the darkness of the cold night I imagine it. People stopping and asking each other why the bones are just lying there. My true self, not afraid to be naked. Not afraid to be seen. They will all look at my bones. I will be noticed. I will be me.

Alone on the sidewalk with no cushion for my head or wrap for warmth, I wonder how I will get to be bones. It happens to everyone at some point in their lives, but how can I rush my demise? I’m afraid that if I just lie here, someone will pick me up and carry me off to jail. Would they give me a pillow and a meal? No. Sounds scary. I won’t leave my bones in a jail cell.

I could run out in front of a car. But if I actually did it, there is so much room for injury. Broken crumpled bones are not what I want to leave. My bones, my clean white bones I will keep as long as I can. The street can’t take them nor can you.

#prosechallengelivingonthestreet #bones #bettertolive #getoffthestreet #findhope

Circles of light swirl in cool blue water. It’s a perfect day for a swim. Pulling the water with my arms, then floating, and feeling the freshness of the day, I took a relaxing swim around the inlet watching the little whirls. Then they turned into ripples and I heard waves sloshing against the shore.

I looked up and saw a shadow flash between the trees. Then a bright light skittered across the sky. Where did it come from? Alone in the lake I felt something clinging to my ankle. Startled, I quickly shook it off and swam toward the shore. As I got closer, I saw little brown toes on the beach ahead of me. Where had they come from? I was afraid to look up and see what it might be. I paused and it was gone.

As I slipped on my shoes, a rustling in the bushes caught my attention as the sun was lowering itself across the sky. A slight tingling crept up my legs. “I’m not afraid,” I told myself so I could stop the creepy feeling from reaching my belly and nesting deep inside.

I love the water. It is my refuge, my relaxation, my energy, and usually my peace. Today the water holds creeping things. The beach carries a strangeness, and the woods have a life of their own. The lake is where I usually come to cool my anxious thoughts. But not today. I see the shadows of dusk like doilies on the lake, and I am caught between the beauty and mystery of the scene.

As I walk across the cooling sand, it is smooth and there are no footprints on it. What were those toes that didn’t dent the soft sand? A cool breeze dashes against my wet shorts and I shiver. I don’t believe the crazy stories about visitations to the woods near the lake. The video I saw on YouTube late last night showing a creepy shadow in the woods and then a strange flash was not very realistic but I had a dream about it. This morning the creepy feeling stayed with me through the woods to the lake.

As I look at the woods my curiosity draws me toward a different path at the edge of the trees. The path the shadow appeared to take. I hesitate. I should go left, my usual route, yet my feet take me to the right. I step into the shadows of the trees. I can’t stop myself. I need to know what is around the bend. I hear a slight rustling up ahead, yet I take another step. Something jumps out of a low growing thicket like a shadow across the path. I creep over to the edge of the dirt, and see the dark shining eyes of a wood frog easily recognizable by the black robber’s mask above its eyes.

I laugh out loud alone in the woods with the company of a brown frog staring up at me. I was a natural science major in college and love to tromp through the woods. No more YouTube silly videos for me. I’ll take a walk with a frog in the woods any day of the week over sitting in front of a computer.

#coachnj #thelake

I freeze up when I walk outside at night and the darkness envelopes me with dark shadows. My chest tightens as fear grips my skin and drags it in to my lungs. My breathing grows shallow as dark shadows loom in the night.

A step closer and what will it bring? Ghosts, goblins, or creatures of the night? A tingling sensation tugs at my legs and weakens my resolve to venture into to the unknown. Before I know it all sensation is gone and my wooden legs are immobile. My helplessness consumes me when I hear a howl in the distance.

As I begin to retreat, the porch light clicks on and the shadows dissolve. I realize my fear of the darkness––all the things I cannot see––makes me freeze up when I venture out at night. A courageous soul I am until all is dim. A bright probing light I will take with me the next time I venture out in to the darkness.

#ghosts #monsters #goblins #halloween #scary #night #darkness