I've never been anyone's reason to wake up in the morning. I've never been why someone checks their phone every five minutes, because they're just so excited to talk to me. Never had someone lie in bed, staring at the ceiling just imagining spending time with me.

No ones ever seen me from afar and been too embarrassed to talk to me. My body nor my thoughts have ever enticed someone so much that they cannot wait to see me again.

Never will I know how it feels to have someone use my pictures as their wallpaper on their phones, to get random texts or notes sent to me at random times with someone telling me that I'm better than any one else - that I'm worth their time and that they'd rather spend that time with me than anyone.

I wonder what it would feel like to hold someone close as they drifted off to sleep. Or to just be held throughout the night. I wonder how it would feel for someone else to look me in the eyes and tell me they were in love with me. I wonder what someone else's thumb caressing the back of your hand feels like. I wonder what basic human affection is like because I've never felt it, and I know I never will. All I'll ever have to keep me company are my thoughts and my depression. But oh well, I guess.

Justify the end result,

Over what it took you to get there,

However many people you've stepped over,

No matter the cost.

Can you see?

Everything you hold dear,

Negated by one man.

And his name is [the first letter of every line].

Abstraction. 

Deception, with pretense of honor.

Time heals all wounds - why bother to restore them?

Why, why, why? That is all I can ask myself.

Forgetting your past is the surest way to failure.

One may think they've escaped scrutiny,

Only to find themselves lain completely bare

To those who know them best.

Linguistic roses, cultivated with the utmost attention,

Left to their own devices shed thorns -

The likes of which have never been seen

In the waking world.

Words are born of intentions,

Intentions born of flimsy need,

Need that is born of desire and time.

Never forget. I can see what you cannot.

When actions are born of your words,

Nourished by your intent, fueled by your need,

I will no longer be there to protect you.

Stand.

Stand on your own two feet as I watch you destroy yourself.