Hum I always have issues with writing on these challenges. I type something then it I don't know disappears. But I'll try again. Well I'm here at the same juncture in my life again. Fault of no one else but my own. For years I've told myself it's ok to get drunk get high do whatever. No I haven't made it very far so far.

Growing up drinking smoking were just part of the territory. Well 30 or so plus years it's finally became obvious I can't do this anymore. In and out of homelessness. Shelters get a job get place to live gradually drink and drug myself into no job and enough money left for two months rent.

My last job I really needed to be fired. I got high in the bathroom I drank dollar shots in the dry store. I started drinking more going to work than I had drank in years.

So after my final fuck you to a co-worker who also is like the caretaker of apartment I live in. When I first moved in he wasn't to thrilled that I lied about having a job. But I did have like four months rent.

So because I was so panicked about getting a job to pay rent I took a job at corner store where he just got hired. It was ok just not too supportive I mean I was given a key to open the store after three four days training.

Neighbors from the same apartment building are meth addicts. Hadn't used meth since I moved. A guy a young kid found a play. His play was to have me hook him up free stuff cigs chips for meth. Well ok.

So started my crazy betrayal and double life at my job. So now I'm unemployed have my rent paid for November and have a money order ready for December. Ok here is my best plan yet.

I usually panic get worried sick what am I going to do? Lay awake get up trembling inside. None of this fear or fret will go away. So what do I do I drink. This at least occupies my time and puts me to sleep at night.

But here's the vision I am believing to find strength for. No more frantically putting in job applications. Interviewed hospital cook waiting background and references but.... Cancelled interviews with Arby's and Walmart. Have interview tomorrow with public schools for janitor. I'm high now friend came by. I can't go to interview high.

This is the fake lie I've been telling myself. It's ok maybe nobody will know. Well the problem is I do know and I don't want to keep this crap up anymore. My anxiety and fear not having anybody to support me walk with me , or so it seems, makes me go at all possible avenues. I need a job but I really want to make peace with myself. I would rather learn to be stay and want to be honest.

Not having a lot getting by with the real simple basics isn't a horrible thing to me. But having an addiction and making people not know it has become the end for me. So hopefully just realizing that the answer is rather simple and it's been done before I can fundamentally make a huge change.

So here's to me being totally honest there is something that has become a total lie I've used to make a defense for myself. Not sure. Something like as long as I know I've done the most I could to get healthy mentally mostly then I should focus only on what's best for me.

One big lie to self is "everybody" knows what I've done or doing so that makes me less than everybody else.

Hum? This got away didn't it.

Here's what I'm trying to say. I can't keep having a life that I have to hide from people. I really want to change. So we'll see. Stop freaking over jobs bills etc. Relax this could be my last chance to get it

Some days go by with out any visitors those are the best for Collen. Being able to remember her life before the witch stole her from her home keeps her going. Now Collen must do as the witch tells her or her sister at home will suffer.

Agnus as she likes to be called tricked Collen into following her into the forest. With sorcery Collen believed she heard a baby crying and went to see. Now the witch took her and hid her from the rest of the world.

Everything became clear to her after a few days of being imprisoned in the witch cottage. The witch needed someone to mix her potions and give them to her chosen. It seemed so unfair to Collen why did the witch spare her and not the others. Each time Collen was told which child to get next Angus would remind her that the sisters she left could be next.

Agnus was only given more life power and strength if she gave sacrifices to the evil that called her. This evil thing could never get enough, and the witch was becoming tired and weak. Collen was finding ways to loosen the spell that was cast on her. This all could come to an end finally. Having to get more and more sacrifices was making the witch forgetful and frazzled.

As they were putting together the potion Collen was able to leave out some of the ingredients. So Collen made a very brave choice. She told the witch that if she wanted even more power and evil that her sisters were what the evil really wanted.

Now the plan for freedom came into place. Unaware that the potion wasn't going to work Angus forced Collen to go poison her sisters. Walking away from the cottage and the horrible screams of children being feed to the darkness Collen knew this was her only chance. As was the custom a disguise was put on her so when she was seen nobody recognized her.

Getting her sisters to act quickly and victoriously was the only thing on her mind. Cautious she coaxed her sisters towards the woods. She knew that everything she said could be heard. Taking off her disguise the sister were shocked and confused. As quickly and convincingly as possible Collen explained everything to them. The p!an was to return to the cottage and poison the witch.

Nothing would ever change as long as the witch was alive. Collen offered the witch a cool glass of water just too keep her strong for The sacrifice of the children. As soon as she drank it she feel to the ground. Becoming unconscious Angus was put in the flaming pit meant for sacrifices. Her screams were the proof that she was dieing. With the witch gone there was another thing that needed to be done. The book of spells had to be destroyed. They threw it into the pit this cause moans and cursing the book seemed to be alive.

Nothing was going to prepare these three sisters to what they saw next. All of the children that were meant to bring power to the witch and the evil master came out of the flaming pit. The children in their numbers of thousands tore the witch to shreds she was unrecognizable. The evil was seen limbing away into the dense forest. Only not before he growled showing his teeth and eyes. Collen knew that she was free to go with her sisters. Puting the witch under her own spell severed any and all bonds the witch and the evil had over her.

Collen held onto her sisters as they began to walk away. This may be over for all of them now but they knew it was always out there. Just as they were nearing the clearing of the forest. Collen thought she saw a little girl being tricked to go into the forest.