Like crazy, I do..

I miss you.

Waiting for your text day and night 

This damned me never learn

Never learn from all the subtle rejection from you.

Seriously, what are we? 

Just friends? You don't say

Right now, I really don't care

If me being honest and coming clean about my feelings towards you going to push you away, 

It doesn't matter anymore.

I need this closure at least, for this bogged down emotions to leave me. 

I want to walk away free from this shackles of confused feelings; away from you.

Let me just see you one more time.

I promise it'll be the last.

Mom (if at least today, you let me be your daughter)

Emergency exits are highly underrated. No matter how happy you think you are, there will always be that little shadow of a disgusting moment that will ruin everything and make you question the whole point of your blessed existence...

Suicide is always referred to as if it wasn’t a solution. Well, that's true, but sometimes it turns out to be a damn good alternative. Every time I feel sad, I try to get out of a possible depression with the promise of a better life that is yet to come, but it never seems to arrive and I'm getting sick and tired of waiting for it. I'm beginning to lose hope... Sometimes I just want to disappear, fade into a deep haze of something unknown and different, especially the latter: different. At this point, I do not care if it's better or worse, I'm just so exhausted of fighting the same things, I'm about to wave the white flag of surrender.

I'm running out of tears and feelings, but I do not want to grow numb... I do not want that for me; but it’s hard to avoid it when the people you love do not trust you and believe you capable of the most horrible of things ... What is left to live when your own mother thinks your word is worthless?

I spend much more time questioning my life than actually living it, and I do not want to continue like this, if this situation goes on, well, I have only one option left... and I honestly, I’m not sure if you’re going to like it or not.

My whole life is just a pathetic collection of some happy moments, but I cling to them as hard as I can, because that's the only thing that keeps me going...

I don’t know what a person thinks when they’re about to die ... in the mistakes they’ve made? In the goals never achieved? How much will everyone else miss them and would mourn their absence? Well, I'll find out soon enough, when the time comes… But I do know that the moment when all which separates me from death is a thin weak line, I would like to feel happy, remembering the good (though little, perhaps) things I have lived, and even although I’ll be frightened and trembling, my tears will be my redemption; I will close my eyes and imagine that this is not the end but a brand new beginning in a more beautiful place, which, even if it is not true, I think it will make me face it with a little more courage.

When there is an imminent death, you have to face your destiny with dignity and resignation; because there is nothing worse for a human being than the feeling of impotence, of not being able to do anything about it, but we always have a choice, we can choose to leave with grace, and make the experience as pleasant as possible. These are demonstrations of love and human strength, which make me have faith that there is salvation for our race.

Mother, do not judge or think that I give up when I docilely enter my grave ... when, after all you have read, you see your child become an inert body, do not think I have died ... for I shall be born again.