The truest cliche.
When I think of where I was mentally one year ago.
How I felt so alone and so lost.
Doing something that I can still see today. I can't help but smile because I lived through it.
I know I'm not going to be one of the people who can wake up and just be. Just be happy. I just can't, the wires and bolts in my brain are not like that and it's not flawed, it just is.
And I can feel how people are wondering why I'm being quiet or why I look serious and it's not that I don't want be cheerful and glad but somedays it's physically impossible for me to do so.
And while some understand others will talk about it, whispering and making faces about how I'm fake and two faced for smiling one day and not the next. Looking and wanting to touch my left arm to see if it's 3-D or not.
365 days ago I was so worried and obsessed with trying to be another yellow smiley face sticker which only made everything worse.
It wasn't till I learned to just not care. And it takes time and effort and if making that little voice in your head shut up isn't the hardest thing than god damn I have no clue what is but you need to learn that the opinion of a Patagonia sweater and a pair of uggs isn't the only important thing in this life.
So it's not that I don't care if they talk about me because I do, I'm a teenage girl in high school. But it's more of I care about what I think more than what they think, and it gets better.
This Year
As we wake
On the morning of the first day
Of the new year
Let's start it off right
Embracing this chance
Not afforded to some
Let's make this year count
To new beginnings
Ending the old
To new adventures
Take that leap
To reinvention
Become your own superstar
Because this year
Will too pass
Faster than the one before it
Don't let it slip by
Because you never know
If this one will be your last
