loneliness has become my second nature

is being too numb to respond usual here

colder now is the returning winter, still it's less intense and cruel

than that from some Novembers ago, the one with dilated pupils

the day I began to mourn all the wasted years

way out of there was my sole remaining desire

she, the angel of my purpose, died for a moment

treats of all kind seemed to have tragically ended

me, a failure yet again, or so they say I was

in the absence of all hope, faith, and trust

the same place I'm sitting, writing this chapter

dark days as such would revisit me much later

Stepped up,

Immune to stings now,

Grew my own one.

Back off,

Don't waste your deceit,

Useless poison.

Stay away,

Don't even come close,

Maintain distance.

Desperate moments

Make sheared joints re-fastened,

While I might have hated you

I needed your helping hand,

You are multi-faced

But one of those is my friend’s.

These walls,

Closing in again,

Or have they always been,

Only that I was too focused-distracted,

To remember not to forget?

Or do they simply come unexpected,

No matter what I am, or where I'm at,

Not given a (beep)?

But most importantly,

What happens after I've gone flat?

Will I be resurrected?

Somehow bounce back?

Or simply remain flat?

In a late-night dream, set in one morning,

I met Sherry,

It's been years,

The last encounter I remember,

Seeing her in my rear-view mirror,

As I steered my departure,

Must have been a hard time since.

I expected her rage, with a slap in my face,

In fact she did ask me "Should I slap you in the face?"

Now that I recall, I wish she did,

In a dream state, I'd love to feel it.

"Far too late for a Sorry I guess,

I don't deserve your forgiveness,

But I had my struggles back then,

I didn't want to hurt anyone,

The rest we know, it happened."

And she replied, with a sweet smile,

Like the old times,

"That's a lot of 'I',

You haven't changed a bit."

What happened next? Nothing fancy,

We took a long walk, with no talk,

Gone was her sorrow, cleared was my guilt

We didn't need many words,

Hoping for a happy end but,

As with usual, I woke up.