The Mushroom Shredder

“What is this machine you have made?” I asked him.

“A Mushroom Shredder” he replied.

“Why do you need to shred mushrooms? They are perfectly smooth to slice.” I asked.

“Oh yes they are, but they remind me of her.” he replied.

“Your ex?” I was curious.

“Yes, they remind me of her. Especially her toes – perfectly round at the top and shapely below. Just like button mushrooms.” he said as he started the machine.

“She would not be amused to hear this comparison.” I laughed.

“Not any more.” he replied, deftly switching on what seemed like a hundred switches.

“What an amusing way to take revenge? Shred mushrooms! What happened to shredding & burning love letters?” I joked.

“We live in a digital world.” he said, as a matter of fact.

“Of course we can’t shred or burn our i-Phones.” I agreed.

He nodded with a smile.

I touched the machine top and asked, “Does it really work?”

“Of course, it does.” he seemed to be offended.

“But I don’t see any mushrooms here.” I remarked.

“But we have toes…” he replied.

“A Mushroom Shredder” he replied.

“Why do you need to shred mushrooms? They are perfectly smooth to slice.” I asked.

“Oh yes they are, but they remind me of her.” he replied.

“Your ex?” I was curious.

“Yes, they remind me of her. Especially her toes – perfectly round at the top and shapely below. Just like button mushrooms.” he said as he started the machine.

“She would not be amused to hear this comparison.” I laughed.

“Not any more.” he replied, deftly switching on what seemed like a hundred switches.

“What an amusing way to take revenge? Shred mushrooms! What happened to shredding & burning love letters?” I joked.

“We live in a digital world.” he said, as a matter of fact.

“Of course we can’t shred or burn our i-Phones.” I agreed.

He nodded with a smile.

I touched the machine top and asked, “Does it really work?”

“Of course, it does.” he seemed to be offended.

“But I don’t see any mushrooms here.” I remarked.

“But we have toes…” he replied.