before i shot up like a weed

still smaller than my grandmother

i sat at her feet 

she opens her mouth and mothballs fall out

                               she teaches

old leather hands clutch a rosary

calling me "tootsie"

like her favorite candies on her old coffee table

a wink and a laugh

                              she teaches

through her thick south jersey accent she knows everything

grandma teaches what herbs heal 

grandma teachese what stones hurt

hands me my first lucky coin between chocolate chip cookies

                            she teaches

love yourself tootsie, no one else will

a good woman kisses and leaves

don't let any man tell you you're nothing

every experience is a lesson, learn from it

                            she teaches

                            and i learn

is blue

I read three books cover to cover

is yellow

"Parlez-vous français? Voulez-vous avoir un café avec moi ce soir?"

is green

"Yates was all wrong about this place."

is pink

"Te quiero. ¿Que voy a hacer?"

is purple

"Mi scuse. Como si chiama?"

and I 

Want to live in this rainbow forever

I can't

fold back up into the gray of home

1. I never use your name in my poems. 

2. I couldn't even think of kissing you without liquid courage in my veins

3. I told everyone you were my best friend. We are equal parts not lovers and not friends

4. "I love you but not enough to date you" I could never convert my wanting into spoken words. I write more poetry.

5. "I wouldn't be able to have a sexual relationship with you" my fingers tremble when I touch myself. I'm too clumsy to touch you.

6. I haven't spoken to you in days. I never stop thinking of you.

7. The moon hides from the sun every day for all eternity. Is it holy? Is it cowardly? 

(we'll never know, will we?)

some poets are night owls 

Insomniacs finding pleasure pain, their part

after everyone has long gone to bed

But if you want to love me

Find me before the sun rises

Cappuchino in one hand

All the stories of the universe in the other