I've been to Zoë's house so many times; I know exactly where to go. I quietly dash up the creaky wooden stairs, turn left at her door. She sits curled up on her mattress, a little island in a sea of blankets and stuffed animals. Zoë rips her eyes from the pages as soon as I cross from the hallway to her carpet. Even though I notice she did what I asked, fear and hesitance leaks from the deep wells of her pupils. I, like her, am dressed in the colors of midnight, almost invisible in the weak light. She stands up in front of me, a full five inches taller than my minuscule form. I haven't seen her since the big fight, but we both knew this situation required us to put aside our aching hearts.

"Where is he?" Zoë's whisper tries the hide the shaking desperation, but I hear it loud and clear.

When I don't answer, she steps closer to me. I back away from her presence, recent changes had affected my view on other humans.

"Annalyse, I beg you, where is he?" She doesn't try to hide the anger or fright this time, so I have no problem answering.

"Two miles south, according to my research, it's very marshy and very hilly." She narrows her eyes at my words.

"What research?" I sigh in exasperation. Now was not the time to dig into the motives behind my searching.

"He was my love, too, you know," I say it so quietly, and with so much heartbreak, it sends a shockwave to Zoë's bones.

"Well, we all know who he picked, now don't we?" I spin around so quickly; I whip her with my ponytail. I'm quick back down the stairs and to my truck. It hums with unnatural energy against the backdrop of night noises. We get in without a word, and off we go into the darkness.

Some say you aren't supposed to fall in love with people like me. We're out of control, always needed a little extra help because we're too broken to help ourselves. Sometimes, we can't decide, but others, we demand things at once. We say words that don't make sense. Like 'there's a ghost in my room' or 'a lizard fell out the sky.' Our emotions are so jumbled and mixed up; it's hard to tell how we feel. We do the stupidest, most reckless things that you could never wrap your mind around. We depend on you way too much; there always seems to be something wrong. We want the dumbest items that seem like a waste to buy. Sometimes, we want all the attention, but two seconds later, we want to curl up and be left alone. 

     But I say you should love me because I'll love you back with all my heart. I'll be honest about myself, and never keep things in the shadows. My emotions are all mixed up because the way you look at me keeps me from thinking straight. The only reason I seem so broken is that I try so hard to look perfect to you. I can never decide because I worry if you'll judge my decision. I want the strangest things because I see something good in the most pathetic stuff. I say the craziest things because my imagination goes far more than the rest. 

     I may not be the angel you imagined. I might not look as cute as some people on Instagram, I may not have the sanest brain, I might do things that you can't understand, but my heart stays open, and it'll search forever until it finds you.

It's not an easy thing, you know, it always comes with grief. Well, maybe there are some happy goodbyes, but most of them are sad. There are millions I could say, but I'll only use a few.

There are the real goodbyes, the ones where you get old and are ready for a long rest. There are the heartbreaking goodbyes, the ones where lovers say they'd rather be apart; when your friends stop answering your calls. There are the leaving goodbyes, where you are moving away, and will never see that little town again, will never get that letter they promised to write. Finally, there are the lost goodbyes. These are the worst for me, that feeling when you know you can't save someone. That sinking guilty feeling that makes you wish you did more.

My real goodbye came with my great-grandpa. I didn't know him that well, I said hi when we went to visit, I gave him hugs and said I loved him, but I didn't know him. I didn't mind until the funeral came, then the world came crashing down, and I felt like crying in front of strangers. The military men honored him as a brother, and the whole thing felt so important, yet I didn't know him all that well.

My heartbreak goodbye, when I knew he was ditching me when I knew he hated my guts. We didn't say anything, but it stung worse than any time I'd failed a soccer game. Half of it was I knew it was my fault, but I didn't know how to say I'm sorry.

My leaving goodbye was when I moved twice. First, when I left my hometown of southern accents and pool parties with my one neighbor, second when I left the chilly north. My first real school, my first real friends, my first love for books, and amazing teachers. The days I would remember the amazing people, but can never talk to them again.

And finally, my lost goodbye. When I knew there was no saving that soul from the past never left behind. He turned his back on my telling him to change, and leave the hate behind. I told him to shove the dirty stuff into a hole, but he didn't want to listen. When he said leave me alone, and don't ever come back into my life, I knew I had failed.

All these goodbyes are such a challenge. To realize I could never stop it, never store the loss in a closet. It's hard to look back at the past and say I did well. I want to say I was a good guy, but when I look at my goodbyes, I don't feel so good.

It's not an easy thing, you know, it always comes with grief. Well, maybe there are some happy goodbyes, but most of them are sad. There are millions I could say, but I'll only use a few.

There are the real goodbyes, the ones where you get old and are ready for a long rest. There are the heartbreaking goodbyes, the ones where lovers say they'd rather be apart; when your friends stop answering your calls. There are the leaving goodbyes, where you are moving away, and will never see that little town again, will never get that letter they promised to write. Finally, there are the lost goodbyes. These are the worst for me, that feeling when you know you can't save someone. That sinking guilty feeling that makes you wish you did more.

My real goodbye came with my great-grandpa. I didn't know him that well, I said hi when we went to visit, I gave him hugs and said I loved him, but I didn't know him. I didn't mind until the funeral came, then the world came crashing down, and I felt like crying in front of strangers. The military men honored him as a brother, and the whole thing felt so important, yet I didn't know him all that well.

My heartbreak goodbye, when I knew he was ditching me when I knew he hated my guts. We didn't say anything, but it stung worse than any time I'd failed a soccer game. Half of it was I knew it was my fault, but I didn't know how to say I'm sorry.

My leaving goodbye was when I moved twice. First, when I left my hometown of southern accents and pool parties with my one neighbor, second when I left the chilly north. My first real school, my first real friends, my first love for books, and amazing teachers. The days I would remember the amazing people, but can never talk to them again.

And finally, my lost goodbye. When I knew there was no saving that soul from the past never left behind. He turned his back on my telling him to change, and leave the hate behind. I told him to shove the dirty stuff into a hole, but he didn't want to listen. When he said leave me alone, and don't ever come back into my life, I knew I had failed.

All these goodbyes are such a challenge. To realize I could never stop it, never store the loss in a closet. It's hard to look back at the past and say I did well. I want to say I was a good guy, but when I look at my goodbyes, I don't feel so good.

You snarl at me with both front fangs fully visible; your glimmering eye-burning coat of white fills the temple with an uncomfortable light.  

Shadows cling to her fur, making her seem larger than she is. Kauket's eyes glowed with a red light that reminded me why I hated her in the first place. A rumbling growl filled her chest, but the sound didn't startle me. I don't back down to bluffing.

      I never feared my worthless little sister. The shadows deepened, making it seem like a swirl of angry bees whizzed around her.

     I never took my fraud older brother seriously. Her words didn't carry any trace of fear, but I smelled malice on her tongue.

Who is a fraud? Not me, little monster. I'm trying to build a fresh new world of light, while you go around planting chaos and destruction in my path.

Horus talked with suck strength, such power, but no, he wasn't making everything better. It seemed, finally, darkness was better than light.

You're destroying the world, not fixing it! Whole tribes are dying. Humans and wolves alike are falling at the hands of your servants. The light grows brighter, and a man clothed in a robe of white fire stands in your place.

      "Maybe some will die, but it will all serve the greater good." Cold surges through my canine body and shadows encase me. I stand on two legs instead of four; my fur replaced with glinting stygian iron armor.

     "Ah, stealing from the Greeks now are you?" I give my brother a rueful glare.

      "Unlike your stupid worshipers, the Greeks know what is right, even if it means allying with darkness." He gives me a full smile, showing off pristine white teeth that work as a flashlight on their own. I hold my hand out, and more shadows flow around me with dangerously powerful energy. I grip a stygian scythe with a worn shaft and a perfectly sharpened blade. The weapon absorbed Horus's light, buzzing slightly in my grasp.

     "Oh, Kauket, you were always so impulsive as a child, and yet, you still are." He flicks his fingers, and a spear appeared in his hand. It wasn't fancy, just a white stick with a point at the end. 

I roared and charged her. With a quick jab, I dented her breastplate easily. I went for another to her snarling wolf helmet, but she blocked with the end of her shaft and sent me backward a couple of steps with the flat of her blade. Kauket advanced with a perfectly balanced swipe of her scythe, but I parried lightly and slammed the butt into her shin. We sparred back and forth around the temple grounds. She blinded me a couple of times with her shadows, and I let a few infernos loose. Soon, our battleground went from a deteriorating old temple to an earthquake of rubble, and a hail-storm of bricks. 

     "Admit it Horus, your tiring, and this place is about to fall on our heads. 

     He grins and hefts his spear. "How about it falls on your head?" He throws his spear, and I hear it hit something behind me.

     "Have fun under fifty tons of rock." He disappeared in a ball of light, and I turn around just in time to be crushed by the rest of the temple.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I groan as I open my eyes. A small light shines through a crack in the debris, and I estimate it to be around noon. My breath comes in short bursts, and I'm surprised to be alive. I send out nerves to my limbs and ribs to check for broken bones. I try for a deep breath, but a pain resonates through my chest. Okay, I think to myself, you're broken, but you're alive, now let's get out. With some grunting and a lot of pain later, I reach the small hole in my cage. I pry at it with my fingers, willing it to grow. A thin burst of inky darkness flows from my fingers to the opening. Slowly, it begins to widen and shake. I exert every ounce of magic I have left into making a hole big enough to fit through. I squeeze my arms and shoulders through and emerge a moment later onto the uneven ground.

     "Now, I must find some help if I'm going to save the world." With that, I use a shadow of a still-standing pillar and evaporate into the gloom.