Nothing was sad,

though perhaps there was;

it was what we had

that now the graveyard has.

Your time had ended

A time the Lord has founded.

Your vessel’s deep down

on the dark and far away ground.

Who knew that on there you’d lay

On the cease of life’s day.

I dreamt of that hour

where you’d lean in close to me

it was a dream not so far

Just like the ground up to the tree

when you did,

it felt fragile

fragility of a beautiful butterfly wings,

so as to Saturn’s rings.

my mouth uttered no words, but I swear;

it was my lone happiness’ fare.

Within the open rooms of HSST are students laughing, yakking and gabbing. Eighth grade was our first high school experience, the last time they saw each other was years ago, before the pandemic, which would make sense as to why they reminisce their elementary days often. Those reminisces that would reach my ears, alienating me and reminding me of the divergent decision I made back when I was twelve years old, back when I chose a different school amidst the fact that most of my peers on my previous school chose to pursue the high school I originally intended to pursue, forcing me to take the opposite direction, a direction that I did not know would lead me far enough to stretch the string to the maximum thus cutting us off, to forget that I liked the sky blue and the trees green. It made me realize that I am in the place in life where my old peers are no longer within the horizon I belonged to, they had become a poignant existence.

Being divergent amongst my peers meant volunteering to walk the far opposite direction, a new trail that I had once thought would lead me to the edge of a precipice.

I walked towards that trail, carrying only my innocence and dreams while unaware that I was also challenging the length of the long string tied to my wrist. A string connecting me to what I was before, to where and whom I belonged.

Upon reaching the end of the trail was a place totally different from the one I grew up in, it was a place built for crowds, built for people who really are social. Building friendships was a challenge to me, after all, I was a nobody who suddenly came here. I was too busy looking for friends, walking further from where I had once stood. Months passed, I am far now. Way far from where I had once stood, far from the introverted girl I was.

Then, realization dawned upon me. “Oh.” I looked behind me. I walked far away… the string was no longer there. It was like time froze, giving me the chance to look around and realize that the surrounding is all gray. Where’s the green? The blue sky? the white clouds? I looked up and failed to see the colors I had hoped to see. This was not home. I had tried to fit in too much to the point I unconsciously settled for a colorless environment.

I had met nice friends, but there really was that barrier that alienated me from being really one of them. This place was not where I was comfortable in, it was not home, it was not where I could reminisce about my own Elementary memories, memories I spent with my old peers.