They splattered her in paint,

marbled patterns of colour

dripping and mixing down her arms;

oozing and pooling at the nape of her neck;

leaking from the corners of her eyes.

They covered her eyelids in paint

until she saw only rainbows.

So every time she thought of purple,

blue,

white,

green,

black,

yellow,

red,

she wondered if she'd really thought of it at all,

or if the paint

congealing on her skin

was all she'd seen.

i crave a rose quartz romance,

speckled peridot promises &

opal oaths that you'd clasp around

my wrist. i’ll never take it off,

i’d say & you'd pierce your ears

in aquamarine & moon over my

moonstone amour. oh, darling,

you consume my amethyst daydreams

& are ever present in my feldspar

fantasies. taint my touramline thoughts;

kiss my carnelian-flushed cheeks.

my agate angel, won't you be mine?

summer is a light breeze prickling your face as you recline on a scratchy blanket and gaze up at a night dotted with stars, riddled with holes that look like freckles. the croaking of grasshoppers and the rustling of leaves and the sounds of faraway cars swelling in and out, in peaceful lulls that leave you wondering if they were born of imagination or reality. everything faraway, put on mute, and it’s just you and the universe. feeling the mounds of brown soil shift and mold between your toes. squint and search for constellations with a heavy telescope, looking for something beyond yourself.

summer is waking up to rays of sunlight scattered on your bed and a dry spot on your tongue. the light seems to seep through your hardened bones and joints, filling your body with a sense of warmth and softness that doesn’t fade away. an alarm clock with a worn-out snooze button, 11:27 am emblazoned in fire-truck red. pull back creased cotton curtains and watch as the sunlight pours in like sweet, tangy lemonade filling a glass cup. soaking the world as you know it in light, and fielding away the dark shadows for a little while longer.

summer is pushing open the door to a deep blue sky, so perfect and spotless it looks artificial. the sky has been wrapped in little sheets of gossamer, like a gift or a candy being presented to some larger being. the intensity of the sun surprises you as you open the car door, gingerly buckling a burning seatbelt and suspending your legs, trying not to scorch them and praying the air-conditioner kicks in soon. arm out the open window, catching the air like those discount dreamcatchers you found at a garage sale. kids furiously pedaling their plastic toy bikes as watchful mothers tail behind, enthusiastic entrepreneurs advertising from behind lemonade stands. 

summer is the moment you recognize your friend, eyes widen, and you both run to each other, marveling at how they’ve changed. hugging tightly as if you’ve never hugged before. remarking that they’re taller with bemusement. walking with them to a quiet park and divulging all your latest secrets, joining two paths at an intersection of what’s been happening in your lives. sipping an icy boba tea and nodding enthusiastically as they complain about their enforced curfews and belligerent exes. watching the sun begin its colorful descent, merging with the horizon, scarlet and crimson and orange and violet and pink exploding across the sky, eventually darkening to black. one last hug and a wave goodbye as you flip through photos and savor how fun it was. the sudden realization that everything, anything is better when you’re sharing it with someone you love.

summer is the bliss of oranges bursting on your tongue, the moment of anticipation before a juicy grape pops in your mouth. a banquet of grilled chicken, red strawberries cut into halves, and slices of dripping watermelon peppered with those black seeds you love to collect and dry. flavorful aromas mingling into a rich and savory one, filled with scents you thought would never blend well together. laughter and conversation swirling around, the feeling of being part of something. a comfy contentedness as you settle back and recline, never wanting it to end.

#poetry

chains

are breaking

and it’s so hard to believe

because

for so many months,

over a year

i couldn’t walk

and i couldn’t breathe

your strength

diminishes

every time he

offers a smile

or shows me the stars

because he knows

how to love me

he knows how to care

and it proves

over and over

that you were never real.

and you never

ever

knew me at all

if i look away

he jumps for my gaze

and when my heart

starts to

hurt

he wraps it up

and keeps it safe

images emerge,

flashbacks replay,

but he clouds them

shields me

and we wash

your pain, your name

down

the drain

i don’t have to

try so hard

to fit this perfect image,

to be what he wants

because i already am

and now i have to learn.

it was never about

helping

there was no

happy ending

whatever i worked for,

towards,

was only figmented

by my own sense of hope

but everything you gave me

was so fake

it was never even there.

do you know

how the sunshine

can be such a lie?

how it promises warmth,

and light.

it’s so much

like you

because it always runs away

and only when it’s colder,

when the loneliness arrives,

does the moon swoop in

to show the truth

and save me.

you had your hold

abused your power

destroyed a pretty soul

left her wandering

defenseless

and completely

devoid

of

everything.

maybe you won

i was so trapped,

so blind

by fantasies

that i couldn’t

escape your

control

now it’s so funny

that i thought you could

be good

because i didn’t really know

what that word meant

until i saw blue again,

felt a new embrace

and everything was

so desperately clear

that you would never change

and i had to run away

breaking

letting go

moving on

healing

they all have new meanings to me now

a short time ago

they all

meant

the worst

and i can surely

proudly

confidently say

that i am alive

i survived.

because you were right,

like the devil,

you’re a demon.

and you killed me

so many times.

Through squinted eyes

A little light

Is too bright

Redoubtable

Closed eyes

Let everything

Pass by

Dreaming

But wide eyes

See the dark

And the light

Confronting both

her hand in mine

awakens my senses

her head on my shoulder

brings down my defenses

her fingers in mine

pluck the strings of my heart

the smile on her lips

a unique work of art

she spins dewdrops into morning rain

as they slide down her skin onto mine

she sets the sun and the phoenix aflame

and admires how bright they do shine

she is the moon in the sky of my night

casting her light through the trees

she is the stars that glow just out of sight

forgotten to all but me

her lips on mine

her eyes on me

the sound of her voice

the blush on her cheeks

cuz she spins dewdrops into morning rain

as they slide down her skin onto mine

she sets the sun and the phoenix aflame

and admires how bright they do shine

and she's all mine

A light flowers up

From words

That drop wisdom

And strength

Tears dry up

And lungs fill

Like a cup

To the brim

From the love that

Radiates

From knowledge that saves

Lives that are caving

Sippin', smokin', privately-

no filter needed here-

holding hands with liberty,

resplendent in our queer.

Judgements paused, no snide remarks-

defenses are relaxed-

shielded from the hate that lurks,

beyond the curtained glass,

guarding freedom, happiness,

and covenants of love

'gainst rainbow letters that address

inequities~~~~~ENOUGH!

The cloak is

Disintegrating

Maybe it wasn’t impervious

To begin with

Betraying an upright figure

Radiance,

Splendor,

And pep,

A pert,

Always alert,

Specimen

Nudges away your languor