Howling.
Inspired by It Will Come Back By Hozier.
My darling love both me and you knew how this would end. My love for you is like that of a lovesick dog. Your smile, your kindness, your laughter, the way your eye shine a bit brighter as I indulge you in my loving.
You could gladly pull on my leash and I will get on my knees and worship you and the ground you walk on. Though the distant look in your eyes after a while of my lovin’ has you looking for another dog.
You know better sweetheart, you know that I’m not as easy to get rid of. I would’ve had growled and bit at your hand, I would've shown more restraint if I truly knew how this would end and yet I let you in. You deceiving little vixen, this game of cat and mouse, it’s dangerous for me to have fallin’ for you.
The moments we shared now discarded like the leash that you once held tightly around my neck. How every pull and tug on it would make me come back to you. I warned you about me and now you hear me howling outside your door like the bastard dog that I am and that you can’t seem to get rid off.
Taste.
The sense of looking at you from across the room with the knowledge of knowing that my lips once traced every curve and bump of your skin with such precision as if I didn’t want to just devour you. I want you to feel the very exact need that I felt as you just flashed me a coy smile as if you didn’t see my eyes practically undress you and savor every moment. The way I want you to unravel under my touch, every gasp, every shuttering breath, every single moan of despair..I want all of it.
I want you to get so used to my love for you that you causally forget that this love of mine is as easy for me to give as it is easy for us to breathe. I wonder if I tainted your way of loving..I wonder if you think of me as much as I think of you.
My beautiful canary pt. 2
My beautiful canary, once I saw how you looked at me with distaste.
My heart broke, so I let you taste a bit of freedom.
I removed those golden shackles that adored your porcelain like skin and kissed away the bruises.
I gave you freedom to sing as freely as you wished until I saw you sing your lullaby for a lovebird.
My beautiful canary, let me tell you something.
That lovebird will taint your angelic glow.
That disgusting lovebird sings you her own lullaby to lure you in.
My beautiful canary, I don’t like the way your chirps seem more happy with her.
I can see the way that lovebird looks at you as if she could just fly away with you.
Don’t leave me, my little canary.
I won’t let you leave me.
So again with soft spoken words and half baked promises, I lure you back into your cage.
You look at me so lovingly I almost feel guilty..almost.
I place my golden shackles on your porcelain skin once again.
That lovebird that once made you chirp with such joy lays entrapped in a rust covered cage.
I will keep her there until my selfishness allows me to let you out freely without a need to worry for the lovebird.
Because the only love that can exist in this world of mine is between a fox and a canary.
It’s an idiots fantasy like that naïve little lovebird, that a canary and a lovebird can love each other.
Soon my beautiful canary, that lovebird shall perish without your presence but do not fear,
I shall keep you here with me.
I won’t let nobody taint you.
My beautiful canary.
The little bird in her golden cage, she was once a glorious little thing.
Her chirps would lighten my day with delight and joyfulness.
The thing is,
I DISLIKE when my beautiful canary dares to sing her lullaby for anyone else but me.
Her beautiful chirps sing a lullaby that she wrote just for me.
Oh, my beautiful canary, your beautiful dress glows with the golden shackles on your hands and feet.
Your once cheerful chirps no longer fill my house with joy.
I peer into your beautiful golden cage that I built for you and only you.
Crafted by anything you want to be said by me.
Oh, my beautiful canary, I peered into your cage and saw you staring at me without those eyes of yours.
Eyes that I wish for only you to gaze upon me with and no one else.
Your once gleeful eyes that once stared at me now look at me with such distastefulness.
Why is that?
Haven’t I given you the golden cage that you so wanted?
A single shiver.
A single shiver travels up my spine once I see the glint of your blade against my body.
I can’t tell weather I’m in danger or not.
My senses are dulled because I can’t whether im the predator or prey.
Your chest is pressed against my own as you run your blade oh, so very carefully down my jugular.
You blow on my ear as you laugh softly at my foolishness as I feel a slightly burning sensation on my neck.
Your eyes cast down at me as a glint of pure sadistic pleasure courses through your veins.
Your knife slowly parts from my neck as it kisses the valley of my chest, I can feel my breathing become shallow as I feel like a butterfly trapped in the web of a spider.
If I ever so slightly move wrong, my beautiful spider could oh so easily nick my skin to make this butterfly of hers behave.
For I rather loose my wings than ever leave my enchanting spider.
Withered
The scent of smoke
Its presence lingered in your room
That scent reminds me of you
The moments I had left with you
Your raspy voice from the ages of smoking you did.
I didn’t know your time was limited
I didn’t know I wouldn’t have you around forever
I remember you, smiling and laughing at my made up stories
Did you know that I made them up?
We would watch family shows together and laugh.
After we finished watching them, you always wanted to admire the plants in your garden.
You would always struggle to get up but at the end you would just smile at me like everything was okay.
You would slowly make your way to the sliding doors while I followed closely behind you.
You would always ask me to help open the doors and I did it happily.
You would sit down with a coffee and admire the greenery.
I wondered if that rubbed off on me..
Is that why I love flowers?
Because they remind me of you?
You would always tell me about every plant in your garden.
And I would enjoy it, but my little six year old brain didn’t understand any of it.
But I enjoyed talking to you.
When I had to go, you always placed a kiss on my cheek and wished me well.
I stopped going to your house when I started to grow up.
And then you withered away.
I cried that day like a part of me just withered away.
I felt like I lost a piece of me that day.
I always cry when I think about you.
Even now, I still cry.
I love you grandpa.
Yet I feel like I’m to late to say that.