i.

hands

too many hands, touching all the wrong spots. too much pressure, in places that never asked to be stained with dirty fingerprints and filthy mouths.

ii.

nights i woke up blindfolded. nights i woke up deaf. nights i woke up screaming. nights i woke up dead. nights i never slept.

iii.

the way the refrigerator felt pressed up against my back. anorexic-spine refusing to bend and break. chin up, tears checked. the way that the solid object gave false confidence. the way my bones still cracked.

iv.

the wedding ring in the grass.

v.

tubes & wires

small lungs failing. because babies don’t belong here this early. but trauma has a way of bringing out the best of us.

vi.

tubes & wires

“you can’t hold him.”

“please give me back my baby?”

“you have nerve damage.”

“give me my baby back!”

“someone put her back to sleep.”

vii.

distance and space and sirens and screams. and how all of those words just feel like the word abandoned. and how everyone always leaves.

viii.

all these fucking metaphors.

ix.

my wrists tied to his knuckles. and how he hangs around my neck. and how he hangs around my thoughts. and how he gets hung up in my throat. and how my eyes feel hung out to dry.

x.

the way the mirror explodes when it sees my face. how two of my fingers fit so perfectly at the back of my mouth. how i reach for the devil and up comes the ache.

I was that girl

who elders dispatched

far and vast to send a word

I was that girl

whose peers brushed aside

I was that girl

to whom picks and shovels were shoved

a little shell whose lips were sealed

I was that girl

who wasn't in the princely refrain

and my motley apparel,

somewhat outlanding earings

enduced curious gazes

I was that girl

ogred to the brink

by those who should've protected me

A great thing in life is friendship.

One should know how to make a friendship.

Those who are lucky only will have friends.

Without that the life is zero, empty, miserable.

But some don't know how to make friendship at all.

It is told that "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

But there should be friends, whether they help or not.

And that is the usual case. Very few help others.

Everybody ask god in their own favour.

Very few people will pray God for others' sake.

God has made some people helpless, who

doesn't know how to take favour from anybody,

whether at house or from outside people.

They can't win anybody's heart.

Being justful they won't get any value.

Don't know why God makes some people like this.

People will quarrel with such people without reasons.

And such people don't know to get angry also

in very serious situations also and hence nobody value them.

Maybe it is the fruit of previous birth deeds.

Just because they don't mingle with others,

people think that they are proud of.

I have seen so many people like this.

It is nothing else other than the

thing that their luck is bad.

God only should save such people.

Even if we feel mercy towards such people,

we don't get the courage to talk towards them,

though they are on the right side,

as all will be talking against them.

Some times it so happens that only one person

is on the correct side and the whole world will

think in the wrong direction & will be blind,

not understanding at all. Such people won't get justice at all.

they reminisce of a glorious past

the nimbus in the sky offensive to the father,

the son, and the Holy Spirit

they are the sons of controversial masters

who've weft the velvet cloth into capes

the suspects in the gambit of the rogues

they cover the earth groaning in defiance

most of them have recruited you

and took you out into the fields of promises

now you stand out there on gilded pulpits

and spit, spit at the stranger striding on a dusty path

you spit at your neighbor too when words fail to find your mouth

they've sold you nostalgia, the greatness that never was

each of you bark orders with the bellicosity of a bull

marching along the streets with automatic weapons

clamoring for bygone glory that goads hypocrite's loins

you sing the songs of kings and wear satin vestments

even though you know earthly ascendance is false

do you see that all violable illiterates are molding weapons?

carving their misfortunes into tunes? they rise like fumes

they slip out of drably dwellings, violence is their new language

their words glow into flickering constellations

do you see marauders under the auspices of ignorance

preaching peace whilst stoking flames of violence

young eyes are possessed by the ague of prominence

history is staring at this sterile moment right in the face

those before us were stooges under the shade of the Axis dictators

if there was wisdom divined on the flip side of bloody wars

the fallen Berlin Wall would've led to no more walls

but bridges would've risen from the ground

to close the widening gulf that kept at bay for centuries

if lessons were learned there'd be more friends than enemies

waiting to crisscross their arms on any given day

and if lessons were learned the world would've not been riven

by the dominion of a lone jester in power

there's no wisdom here. instead, we grope together sightless