What do you do when the person you trust would be the one who brings you down?

What do you do when all the bad decisions you've made in life, did not turn out to be the last one?

I am tired.

I am.

The recession.

The withdrawal.

The hate.

The love.

The wrong decisions.

I am tired.

It seems like there's no other way out but death.

This is a cry for help, this is a cry for help.

I am tired.

I am human.

I make more mistakes than you do on a daily basis.

I regret my existence more than you do on a daily basis.

I am tired.

I am so tired of living in this world that has not done me any good.

I am so tired of living the life I wanted in order to destroy it on my own.

I am tired.

These spilled ink are a cry for help.

I am tired.

Help me.

I am tired.

I want to end my life.

I am tired.

Of all these bad decisions.

I am tired.

Help me.

I am tired.

These cigarettes can't burn my past.

I am tired.

Alcohol cannot drown my mistakes.

I am tired.

I no longer am happy.

I am sorry.

But I am tired of living.

Have you missed me?

Since I last lived

Have I been forgotten?

Hello from the other side

Am I a memory?

From the place I once resided

Do you still look for me?

Hello from the other side

Do you still listen for my voice?

Since the day that I died

Do you ever think of me?

Hello from the other side

Listen for my whisper

Because I never said goodbye

I'm always gonna be here

Hello from the other side

My path appears murky

Each day flies by

It's harder to see my direction

Walking into insanity

All reason has vanished

Nothing but uncertainty

My mind fades to black

Walking into insanity

Sanity has ceased to exist

Doing the unknown is my creed

Each minute could be my last

Walking into insanity

My scars have reopened

Demons been set free

Death of my mind is near

As I walk into insanity

Under a blue sky my soul listens

To its will I'll bend

Speaks to my consciousness

The voice within

As I climb the hills I listen

A personal message to me it did send

Talks to my spirit

A voice within

Near an ocean I've listened

That my life could be near its end

Speaks to my mind

The voice within

Under the stars I heard the message

That my newness will begin

Touches my heart

The voice within

Look into my blue eyes

What do they show?

Scars and blessings of life

The windows into my soul

Do you see the years of hurt in my eyes?

I'll never again be whole

Empty of all faith

Look into the windows of my soul

Do you see the years that I felt not needed?

Not feeling loved has taken its toil

Isolated in loneliness

Are the windows of my soul

Do you see my spirit's insanity?

Out of me all strength has flown

I'm emptied and damaged

Just look into the windows of my soul

Every time we talk

I'm peaceful like a dove

My heart leaps

As I try for you to feel my love

Each time as I look into your face

It's like my light out of this cave

I want you to understand

I want you to fill my love

My soul belongs to your heart

Emotions soar above

I want you go experience

I want you to feel my love

Desiring intimacy with your spirit

Is what I crave

Opportunity for eternal love

I want you to feel my love

Another restless night

Sleep is like a motionless kite

Unconsciousness everywhere

I loathe sleepless nights

In bed with my open thoughts

My plight

Brain can never shut down

I hate sleepless nights

Thinking bout today and tomorrow

A gorgeous woman stays within sight

Passion keeps me awake

On my sleepless nights

Each night begins a new struggle

As efforts to sleep goes into flight

I just want to surrender

To my sleepless nights

You,

staring at the black walls around,

remembering that it was you who painted it

drowning in waters.

stuck under rain clouds and disasters.

let me tell you that I have once felt the same way you did.

Helpless.

Stuck.

Worthless.

incapable of being worthy,

lost in the light,

not knowing the meaning of being happy.

neglected by the ones I loved.

but let me tell you this, no matter how worst it gets,

no matter how much the world turns its back on you

you always have the choice of being happy,

and you can always go back to the way things were.

because sometimes in the darkest skies,

we see the brightest stars.

You don't deserve to live a solitary life,

you don't deserve to wait around and drown in the ocean you have created on your own

you don't deserve to succumb to the darkness that has made you suffer long enough

you don't deserve to hide around the words that people will never notice

you don't deserve to wear sadness on your skin.

You, you deserve to be happy.

You deserve all the beautiful things in the world,

you deserve to live life to the fullest

you deserve to not worry about the darkest days of your life

you deserve to be you,

you deserved to be loved.

and though I may be some random stranger that has yet to know who you are,

but I do know this, everyone deserves to live a happy life.

you deserve everything.

you deserve the love you are given,

you deserve the life you are given.

At the end of the day,

there's always a light at the end of the tunnel

sometimes we just have to wait to get through it.

Disclaimer: The following story is based on a true event after a boy had escaped from a concentration camp, however not many details are known about it, very specific details in the text may not be factual.

Guards, barbed wire, electrical fences and an open camp with no hidden secrets- against all odds the little boy escaped. After running with his bare feet through the cold mud, hidden within the gloom of night and ushered by the white moonlight, next to a big brick house, he encounters an old wooden shed with no windows and a door of decaying wood and rusty metal. The boy inspects the door and finds a lock hanging from it- they forgot to lock it- he assumes. Old, abandoned objects are the hosts of the small room: broken clocks, dusty books, and a clean Nazi flag, its prominent bright red colour is still easily spotted through the darkness of the room. Even with the closed door, the boy can still find his way around the room with the guidance of the frail gleams of the moonlight entering through the wooden gaps. Passing clouds at times faded the light completely, leaving the room under a blanket of darknesses, but the boy keeps on blindly exploring the room- looking for a resting place. Eventually, he settled for a spot on the floor full of dirt under the corner table, where he could hide behind the flag if anyone were to come in.

The quietness of the room vanishes with the frequent clamorous growls of the boy's stomach, but even with the absence of silence, the boy finds peace in his mind to quickly fall into a deep rest.

*

The boy slowly starts to wake up from his long rest and softly pulls his hand from under the blanket covering him to rub his eyes. He then looks at what was over him and sees his body completely buried under the red, white and black of the flag which he pulled from the pole during the cold night. Suddenly, the boy's face goes as pale as the outside snow and his body becomes completely paralysed in fear as he sees the open door and from it a strong, tall Man comes in with an axe on his hands. The Man approaches the boy with slow sharp steps with his heavy boots- the boy holds his breath- the Man stops half way and puts his axe on a table before leaving without ever looking at the boy. The boy sees the open door but instead of taking a risk, he covers his head with the blanket- and waits.

The heavy sound of the Man's boots pounding on the hard floor comes back into the room, a strong sound echoed by the sound of the shivering boy’s own heartbeat. Silence. For the first time the boy hears the Man's deep voice, "Here you go, boy!" said the Man with an odd playful tone, followed by the sound of the door being locked. When uncovering his head, he's smacked with a dry smell that makes his stomach growl like a dog. He explores the room and finds a metal bowl in the middle of the tiny room, which seemed to contain the source of the smell familiar to the scent of spices, but his attention turns to the open cans of pesticide, which he fails to recall if they were there last night. His eyes stare at the suspicious bowl and his stomach growls with despair, he bites his lip and eventually, he makes his decision and takes his first step towards the bowl.

Before he's able to move any closer, the boy hears small steps being taken from under a table where the Man left the axe and the poison cans. A furry head comes out of the dark and starts feeding on the bowl. The boy crouches as he watches the dog devour his meal, pieces of its food jump out of the bowl like stones spit from a volcano. The boy grabs his loud belly in an attempt to censor it, but the ever increasing growls grab the attention of the dog, showing little interest in the starving little boy. With a torturous, craving need to satisfy his hunger, the boy's hand fetches a tiny piece of food that fell on the floor. With his weak breath he blows on to it and rubs it with his fingers, trying to expel the dirt from it, but his coal black, dirty hands fail him on this task. The more his fingers rub, the more wet and sticky they become from the moisture left from the dog's mouth.

His hand slowly carries the little wet piece covered in dirt into his open mouth when he notices the dog attentively staring at the boy. Their eyes stay fixed on each other until the dog comes further out from the shadows and taps the bowl with his snout. Neither one moved for a long minute. The dog, again, pushed the bowl even further and the boy slowly comes closer to the dog and reaches for the bowl, leaving the tiny piece behind. It is still half full. The meal tastes better than anything ever served to him in the Camp. When the bowl is empty, the boy falls asleep while petting his friend, and during the night- he's warmed by its fur.

*

With the passing of days, the young boy and the old dog split every meal, no matter how small the amount- the dog ate half and left half. But eventually, the share of food comes to an end...

The peaceful music of laughter and giggles from the little boy is played in the little shed as he and his friend happily play together. But suddenly, the dog stops and stays completely still. The boy follows the dog's sight and turns around, he's face grows red, he sees the black figure of the Man blocking strong sunlight barging in through the open door. The Man immediately closes the door with all his strength as the boy runs to it. The boy uses all of his strength: pushing and pulling the door, kicking and punching- but even with his strength the door won't move. The boy falls onto the floor with his back to the door and tears in his eyes, he screams and hugs his legs for comfort. His friend comes closer, licks his tears and rests his head on the boy's legs. And they wait, together...

The boy wakes up with the sound of the lock being open and instinctively looks at the axe, but does not reach for it; waiting to see one of the Camp's Guards, he instead sees the man- holding a bowl in each hand.

Saying prayers as I go to sleep

My life is full of sorrow

Dreading which is impending

I wish for no tomorrow

Pulling the covers above my waist

My eyes are looking hollow

For I know what is approaching

I wish for no tomorrow

Trying to make myself comfortable

Into dreamland I burrow

Being imminent is nothingness

I wish for no tomorrow

Closing my eyes for what I wish is the final time

Stepping up to my gallows

Knowing tomorrow will be menacing

I wish for no tomorrow