I

Crimson hands

Cold stone

Glazed eyes

A kiss goodbye

He watched

As life fled

A final breath

All agony is dead

He rose again

Ashes burning

A silent vow

To never look back

A new man,

From the corpse

Now rotting in a grave

Locked inside his mind

When the next

Murder shall rise,

He shall cleanse

Himself once more.

II

Do you remember when

You were innocent,

Oh, so innocent.

Crying at the death of a goldfish?

Do you remember when

Life was fun,

Oh, so fun

Running for hours, barefoot in the grass?

Do you remember when

The world was small,

Oh, so small

Wondering what would become of it?

Do you remember when

You were loved,

Oh, so loved

Before you realized those gestures did not mean love?

Do you remember when

The flowers wilted

The fun had stopped,

And the world became cold and devoid of love?

I do.

III

I see your smile,

Masking the pain;

I wonder to myself

will you ever be the same?

I know,

I cannot bring you the sunshine

I know,

Someone hurt you, broke you, scarred you.

But would you believe in love?

I know,

You're a star, crashing to the earth.

I know,

You're the sun, burning herself to nothing for others.

I know,

You're tired and scared and lost and hopeless.

I know,

I see it in your eyes.

I know,

I see it behind those long sleeves you wear.

I know,

I see it in that final breath you took.

But do you know?

Do you know,

Someone prayed for hours every night for you?

Do you know,

Someone cried to sleep when they lost you?

Do you know,

No one's life will be the same without you?

Do you know,

You were deeply loved from a distance?

Do you know,

How missed you are since you left us?

I know,

Now, you are someone's guardian angel,

Shielding them from the same darkness that took you away.

I know,

Because I feel you every time I touch that blade.

Clear night.

Star filled skies.

Against an ebon curtain.

The full yellow moon.

Hanging in the sky.

Like a bright lantern.

Cold wind.

That feels of winter.

Rustling leaves.

Raising spirits.

Chilling the soul.

The mountains

In the shadow of the moon.

Rising like spires.

From mother earth.

towards the heavens.

January snow falls.

Softly like silk.

On a newly washed Body.

A soft shimmering sheen.

Against the dull Grey.

Of winters deep slumber.

Touched by.

The warmth of the sun.

Beads of pearl.

Returning to.

The dull Grey.

Of winters deep slumber.

D.Casabonne (C)1.20.02 All Rights Reserved

Don't forgive me when I'm gone

Keep your grudges as gold

Though eventually life will move on,

do unto my memory hold.

As much as I wish I could stay

It's not a realistic request

For life's debt is more than I can pay

And my bones ache for rest.

My eyes to become the flowers

My feet to become the thorns

My hands to still by the hour's

Rush to become the morn.

Do not weep for me instead

Stand at my grave with spite

Hate me for the life I had led

For I won't meet you in dawns light.

-Poem I heard in a dream

“No, no, no. You need to have your feet like this,” Lerah said as she nudged Kaybai’s foot with her own, so that his back foot was perpendicular to his front.

“But-”

“I said what I said.. I don’t care what those fools taught you. They gave you to me, and so I will teach you how to fight my way.”

Lerah walked around him, studying his pose. He heard her feet crossing the smooth stones behind him.

She hummed. “Bend your knees a little more.”

He wobbled as his aching feet struggled to learn the new position. Kaybai was certain that his feet would be black and blue by the next day.

Lerah rammed into his side, sending him careening into the ground. He was more surprised than hurt, but his hip throbbed where it hit the stone. Using one of the pillars, Kaybai pulled himself up to face his unimpressed mentor.

“You lost your center.”

He sighed, his face red and mouth pinched with embarressment. He picked himself up once more, and set himself in the stance that Lerah was trying to teach him. It felt odd and unnatural, and the old woman once again corrected his posture. He was more aware than ever of her presence. Kaybai waited for the strike that would inevitably come. He would be prepared this time.

Her ankle swept under his legs. He was on the ground, again, with the breath knocked out of him. He lay gasping and all that he could comprehend through the pain and embarrassment were the fractals carved in the temple ceiling. It was easy to get lost in the spirals. It took several minutes until Kaybai sat up again, but when he did, his mentor was waiting for him.

“I think we’ve done enough for now,” she said as she helped him to his feet.

Kaybai only nodded, avoiding Lerah’s eyes. The walk back to their shelter was steeped in tense silence, and the silence continued even after they ate. It was only when they were heading to their separate cots that Lerah spoke.

She cleared her throat. He heard the rustle of fabric as she suddenly began to fidget with her blanket. “You know, you did well today.”

He didn’t say anything in response. What was he supposed to say to that, anyway? Her words weren’t true. He failed to hold his ground against her.

Kaybai sat at the edge of his cot, watching her stoke the dying embers back into a fire in the metal stove. He mulled over her words he nodded off, watching her silhouette against the bright orange flames.

#fantasy #dungeonsanddragons #dnd

i don’t miss you, don’t get me wrong

but i don’t know what to write about

if you’re not the reason behind the song

all i wanted to do was move on

and let the storm clouds clear out

but i’m scared approaching this new dawn

and i don’t know what to do if you’re really gone

before i got better, i thought i’d curse your name forever

i thought i’d cry every night for the rest of my life

thought i’d scream in the rain because of all the pain

but i don’t know who i am; this was never part of the plan

i always counted on getting over it, but i guess i never let myself admit

that i don’t know what to do if i don’t hate you

i don’t know what to do if i don’t hate you