praying at the end of a long day.

On your knees

with a shallow heart

and a head filled with distractions,

sing a song of uselessness

and mourn for your transgressions

a glimmer of hope

a rebellious spirit

and you're back to where you started again.

Close your eyes and try to feel it

force your understanding,

so that you can sense your "righteousness"

under the layers of dirt that piled on it

in a dark and private room

out of a sense of obligation

no praise, just questions

and a certain discontentedness

desiring nothing but desiring nothing

and waiting for it to happen

as if it were magic, and you could do nothing

about it.

And you think you understand God

yet you do not listen to him,

O hypocrite be warned,

your "discipline" has failed you

and brought you to the edge of madness

because you try to control yourself

Let God do it, just listen.

be obedient.