I stood with my heart between my knees and my lungs up between my eyes and I gasped for a breath of legitimacy I grasped for a guess at infinity and I recognize it wasn't wise but foresight was never defined with clarity and looking back I realize that exhales have always been guaranteed while it's inhales I've taken for granted

feet planted

pounding

prodding

pupating

I stood there and sighed at the sky

I did not move until the wind

tripped me

toppled me

tumbled me

down

my own

ravine

barely there but oh so scared

holding tight to reservations

counting down the constellations

measuring the whites of your eyes

calculating the contrast of the sky

fingers trace across a thigh

hands held high

don't ask me why

maybe tears are brightness

I have felt the weight of your glare

holding tight not much to spare

counting up the words unsung

measuring buttons undone

calculating losses in battles won

fingers have felt the smoothest air

hands in hair

don't ask me where

maybe tears are darkest

proximity is a dangerous thing

because the closer you get the better you can see the pain wedged between his lips and the ache in the corner of his eye

and the more he speaks the more your hands shake and your skin crawls with longing and denial

I think his warmth is a bonfire and my skin is sea foam

his gaze is heavy like cream his eyes crinkle with the shame of wanting

our hearts are beating and this distance in between is the only thing keeping our whole worlds together because it's all dependent on existing

and contact would be nothing but suicide

count your blessings and then hide your sins in hope your heart may forget again the way he makes your head spin

the way your lips crave his grin

the way your safety wares thin

getting as close as you can

without admitting all separation is torture though lack there of is forbidden

for this you must keep hidden

until all hope has passed

Your eyes will see me coming.

Your poison sugar eyes.

My body is a sky; here I am.

Look at how I've made myself.

I wanna see your face in

Ecstasy.

A heaven for yourself.

Allow me to do the honors

Of tossing my dress on the ground.

It's me, now.

I'm gonna see you coming.

Your voice is made

Of books and cake.

I'm gonna put my legs across your lap,

put your glasses on

my own face

So you can see me looking

The same way you do.

I grazed your neck and

Your breath catches

You're starin at my lips now,

Got your hands below my hips now.

You'll get to see me coming

I’m gonna bloom.

Flowers you forgot existed.

I’ll flaunt myself silly

and laugh, falling exhausted.

I’m gonna bloom,

Please bloom with me.

I’m gonna grow.

I’m not all out yet.

Would you stand in my doorway,

drink in hand, a record in the other?

The devil’s mischief in your smile

It’s the only way you’ll grow on me.

Show me all the things you can do

And turn me on with every one.

We’ll bloom out of control.

We’ll be a field.

We’ll bloom, you and I,

I’m gonna bloom.

You hauled ass into my heart.

And it's not the usual for

me to leave first

but uh,

It's been nice visiting

Didn't think I'd stay

Didn't think I'd stay at all.

But I stuck around for me to

Haul ass into your heart.

You held my hand until

I needed to hold yours.

Didn't know I'd sink in,

Didn't know I'd cry leavin'

Out the door.

But you know I needed affection.

Oh no, I've gotta leave now.

It's time for me to wave and exit.

I'll pick up my flowers and

Haul ass before I turn back.

You were a mountain from the very start.

Your soul smelled like honey and

your eyes were forever.

It's no wonder you'll always be

Here, lingering on in me.

But my brain don't know

what's good for itself,

It dives and laughs in madness and

Chaos.

But oh, I wish you'd vanish from me.