Im done with life. But I don’t want to die....

I’m just done with school. But I still want to learn...

I’m done being alone. But I’m scared to find someone..

I’m done trying.

But I won’t give up. Not yet

Years from now I hope I’m where I want to be.

In a house with the one I want by my side, waking up next to her every morning.

Working in a job that I love.

I get to come home to her every day. But that’s years from now.

Right now I’m stuck at home, in a job I hate. Stuck miles away from her.

I’m stuck sitting and waiting for the chance to do something with my life

One day I’ll be drawing to my hearts content.

One day I’ll be buying my first house and moving in.

I’ll be moving into that house with her. And loving every moment.

But that’s years from now

I’m shy, a not very outgoing person. I’d rather spend my days by myself playing video games with my friends.

But once you get to know me, I’m very outrageous and stupid, and just all around silly. I’d do anything to make someone smile.

I hate being by myself though. I want to be loved and held. I want to wake up to good morning texts from a loved one. I want to stay up late in a 5 hour call.

I want that one, three letter word when I’m sad or lost. Or just on edge. I miss being loved by someone. I want that someone next to me.

This word I use. I use it to describe that strange feeling that I get when I stare at someone. It makes me think, wow that body, those eyes that beautiful hair. I get to be with that!?

But it makes me think, what has happened to that body has it been broken, cut, hurt. It makes me just want to be there for them hold that person and never let go. But all of a sudden I snap back and realize that. The person i think of is hundreds of miles away and I can’t do a damn thing to help or even maybe save them. And I’m not theirs anymore. But I still care.