Love me Not?
Puddles of tear drops gather at my feet
As they hit the ground- I’m reminded of my defeat.
I have to tried to be someone and show you that I’m great
But you never notice, you only show me hate.
All I want is love from you but it’s nowhere to be found
Even as my soul is crushed it doesn't make a sound.
I try so hard to flash a smile and never show my pain,
but now my smile starts to dim like fireflys in the rain.
I beg, I beg,and pray you’ll show me love,
Asking just for one sign from the Lord above.
You take a piece of me each day- taking me apart,
it’s just a matter of time until you break my heart.
I remember my start in life-
Surrounded by soil- soaking it up
I try to get every ounce of nurtrients I can
I start to grow- it feels so good-
Sprouting out, I come up out of the ground
I love sun bathing
I soak up the sun and wait for it to rain
I sure do love a shower
As I grow and grow
I become much longer
I become more wide as well
I feel so beautiful- long, green, and mouth watering-
I am ready for someone to grab me up and pick me
and if I am lucky, they will grab me up and pickle me :)
Dark blue skies above look down
Twinkling star lights are all around
Water rushes up onto the sand
We lay with each other, hand in hand.
Perfect Sounds. Perfect Beauty.
What’s in Your Heart
If you have no belief in anything it can be seriously depressing. I have been there, I know. It all becomes pointless. I have changed how I feel about that now. I had gone down a dark path. I felt I had nothing else to live for. But then there was hope. Hope came to me like a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel. Hope restored my faith. I truly believe in GOD. I do not knock anyone who says that everything came from the big bang- I agree that when God created the world that there actually WAS a BIG BANG. I believe that God loves you and if you try to live your life the best you can...treating others as you would want to be treated, etc. then you will be rewarded with eternal life in Heaven. I know that not everyone believes in the same God- or calls God the same thing. What I think is that no matter who you pray to- and no matter what you believe in life, as long as you have good in your heart and you try to be a good person that God will see that. God will reward with the Glory of Heaven. And even when you are at your lowest point in life and have maybe even given up on God. He is there and he knows your pain- and he is waiting on you to turn to him. He will guide you back to the light. As far as fearing death, I fear it because I don't know if it will hurt.. however, thinking of my body in a box causes me anxiety- although it may irrational to think about being clostrophobic in a coffin.
Other than that I do not fear death. Death will be a birth of the eternal life.
First,why is she so annoyed with you over the game? Is it because you are spending time on the game when she is over or because you are spending alot of time on the game?
If she is upset because you play while she is there- it may be that she feels like she is visiting you and not getting the attention she feels she deserves and so she is upset about it- feeling neglected. If she feels like you are spending too much time on the game- she could be concerned (as a friend should be) IF you are spending a considerable amount of time on it. Put yourself in her shoes- hear what she is saying and WHY it bothers her. Then ask yourself if her concerns are legitimate. Reverse the situation and ask yourself how would you feel if the situation was reversed.
Now...with that being said... if she is making fun of you. This is different. If you enjoy something and she does not- That is ok and as a friend she should understand that. It is ok to be friends with someone who has different interests- however, if she is putting you down by calling you immature just because she doesn't like the game. She is actually the one who is being immature because she is making YOU feel bad just because you are into something different- and that is NOT cool. I am not sure what the situation is... but instead of arguing - ask her- why does it bother you that I play this game? If she says it is just because she doesn't like the game- tell her that you and she may not always like the same things, but that you can still be friends and that you do not like it when she says you are immature. Try getting to the root of whats bothering you both... tell each other how it makes each of you feel and work through it- if she is a true MATURE friend- she will do this and maybe things will get better,
Life....but I Don’t Feel Like It
I need to get up, but I don't feel like it
maybe I should get dressed, but I don't feel like it.
Watch the news, but I certainly don't feel like it- not this year anyway...maybe some other time...
I need to mentally prepare myself for work, but I don't feel like it.
I am being paid to answer phone calls, but I don't feel like it.
I am supposed to be happy and helpful, but I don't feel like that either.
Now it is time for lunch, I should eat, but I don't feel like it.
Time to clock back in...but I don't feel like it.
Maybe I should take some prosac, but I really don't feel like it...even though it might make me feel like it.
The end of the day has come..time to start supper- but, yep- you guessed it- I don't feel like it.
Damn- I need milk- have to go to the store...sh** I really don't feel like it.
I have to stand in line and I really don't feel like it.
After supper it's time to shower and get ready for bed... I don't feel like doing that either.
I need to get in the bed and sleep- but heck, I don't feel like it.
I pull my laptap out even though I don't feel like pulling it out.
I open the laptop - I go to theprose.com
Here is a challenge entitled I don't feel like it.
Maybe I should take the challenge?
Do I feel like it..... YES!!!! So here it is.... This is me feeling like it.
Some day you will stand with me
and be an American who is proud and free
You will see that I am just like you
that we don't all hate- just a small few
I struggle in life just the same
and have no where to place the blame.
I cry, you cry- and we all laugh too
we are all just human- we have no clue.
To hate each other is just so dumb
We will hate and hate until our insides are numb.
Instead come join me and grab my hand
we will fight together- it will be so grand!
#someday #poetry #challenge
Blessed by the Little Things
I am a pretty down to earth person.
All the money and flashy stuff does not impress me.
I count the little things-
they add up to a mountain of freedom and happiness.
Little things...like when I wake up to face another day
or when my daughter cracks a silly joke.
When my son asks to help me clean up or help with supper
Watching my garden grow- flowers blooming
Checking my mail - HA
Watching my daughter dance in her recital
or when my son makes a goal in soccer.
Having my husband/best friend beside me everyday.
Having a job-
My dogs curling up next to me
My mother going on a trip that she so deserves
Looking at the sunset or reading a book
Music of any kind and gummy bears-
All these little things add up - and I count them.
I love and appreciate these little things.
Ever get stuck when a situation calls for you to make choices? I know I sure do! Since a young age I have always had such anxiety when making decisions. I remember when I was a child having to pick between two cereals and I would finally just say iny meny miny mo. As I got older I would let other's make the decision for me (I DO NOT RECOMMEND). That ended me up in jail (another story). After that it was a little easier to make decisions. When presented with a choice I simply cannot seem to make- I write down the pros and cons of each choice. I try and look at it from multiple points of view, asking who it will effect, and what could be the possible outcomes. Using this tool made it easier for me to narrow down which choice to pick. It is important for you to learn how to make decision. Feel free to ask for people's opinions- getting imput from others may actually help you see if in a different perspective. All in all, whatever you decide is YOUR decision. You can do it!
Bipolar Diaries - Part 1
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