As the sun sets in London, I am reminded of how fleeting time can be. One moment the sun is bearing down on your skin, it's rays pertruding the cloudy sky, and in the next moment a ball of rock and dust is dazzling us in ways we never knew possible. We don't appreciate time the way we should, because it can be stripped from us as easily as clothes off a newborn's frail limbs.

How can we truly understand the gift we have in front of us, unless we waste it? If we take every moment we can to achieve the very best action in each instance, we can't stop and realise the beauty of it all. However, if we stop to appreciate the accomplishments, is that time wasted when it could be making even more fantastical works of art, literature, or merely connecting with another being?

When is a good time to look back at what you've done, and ask yourself if it was enough? The moment you accomplish something, a week after, a month or year? Perhaps on your deathbed, or once you've passed on if there is such a place out there after we've perished.

Who else has had this revelation, that time is getting away from them without a second glance? Am I the only one losing my mind over the seconds, minutes, hours and so on, contemplating how I want to be remembered once I no longer contribute to this world? In a single moment, just like all the others, we've chosen to contribute, appreciate, accomplish, connect, or simply exist like no one else ever has.

Why not try it? You get to decide what "it" is, and how you will execute that decision. Good luck, and never waste time again.

I create and destroy life in a single decision. People exist because of my need and want for them, but the second they are no longer needed or wanted; I end them. Universes come and go at will. One can contain brothers lost through time, while another harbours a serial killer that cannot be found by the law.

The eternal struggle of good and evil, light and dark, to be and not to be; I decide it all. Death is inevitable when your profession is being a writer. However the ability to control anything is the addictive part, right? Right.

     My slumber in a bed of ash ended when the ground shook beneath me. Groaning and testing my joints, I tried to inhale, but my lungs were assaulted by smoke and black soot. Coughs barreled out of me in fits as my chest constricted, but I had to figure out what was going on. The last thing I remembered was an unbearable heat scorching my skin. With a shake of my head, I got to my feet as quickly as possible, then began to take in my surroundings. 

     I was in the corpse of a once tall building, now consumed like a feeble pyre. All that remained were charred supports and parts of unidentifiable furniture. My thoughts came to a halt when the ground shook again, and this time it was accompanied by the sound of terrifying thunder and screams all around.  

     A low buzzing drew my attention to the sky, and my heart leaped from my chest. Dozens of birds made of metal flew above my head, but they were too large for ordinary animals. They looked rigid and dead and moved in such a pattern that only seemed militaristic. Then their bellies erupted in flames that came crashing down to earth and dropped what looked like iron barrels plummeting to the ground followed swiftly by what could only be described as deafening. 

      I soon realized the booms and claps of sound were coming from those barrels, along with blazing columns. People ran in terror, while others sprinted towards the infernos in an attempt to battle them. I began to walk out into the street, my mouth gaping wide as I looked all around me at the unimaginable scenery. From the columns of fire emerged a silhouette of a person, screams of agony and death escaping their lips, and that confirmed which direction I would be heading at that moment.

     I stumbled in the same direction others moved, but all around me, there were things I had never seen before. Chariots of steel and glass littered the street, but no horses were harnessed up to them. Looking closer at the buildings I noticed strange lights in them, glass spheres with no flicker of flame yet still bright like the sun. How is that possible? 

     Another whistling sound followed by a flash of light and an obnoxious boom hastened my pace, the ground littered with rubble and smoldering wood. Ahead of me was a tunnel leading into the ground, and a serious looking man ushering people into it. We locked eyes and he watched me as I approached quickly. 

     I cleared my throat with a small cough before ranting off my questions. "What's going on, sir?" My voice came out hoarse and rough, it felt like I hadn't used it in ages.

     "The German's are bombing us kid, so get your arse in the bunker before you lose your bloody life!" His shouts were barely audible among all the sounds, but the rise seemed appropriate given the circumstances.

     My head was flooded with even more questions, but only a few were important in the obviously limited time I had with this man. "Where am I?" This time I shouted back at him to show I understood the danger we were in.

     "We're in Bristol," a look of concern crossed his face and he gripped my shoulder tightly. "Young man, do you remember who you are?"

     "Of course," the question seemed out of place at that very moment, but in all honesty, I was the thing out of place. "I'm Adam Bellamy."

    A script I wrote in high school about depression. 

The events depicted in this script are serious and may be too much for some readers.

Please read with caution, and know that there are people that can help with tough times.

SCENE 1:

(Lights are out, Students are standing in middle of stage,

Sibling, Mom, Dad, Crush and Friend are all yelling

over-top one other, repeating the words below. One student steps out from behind the other. Students are dressed exactly the same. )

Sibling: You should have stopped me. (Repeat until alarm)

          Mom & Dad: You’re the reason he’s dead. (Repeat until alarm)

                    Crush: You didn’t care about me. (Repeat until alarm)

                              Friend: I’m gone because of you. (Repeat until alarm)

(Alarm clock, everyone goes silent, lights up on Student)

Students: Torture is the worst thing in life, and it’s my mind doing

          it. You can’t fight it, and it consumes you. Day in and day

          out, all of it - full of pain.

Hope: It isn’t all bad, you had family, love, friendship.

          What about all that?

Students: All of that? You mean the loss, the heartbreak and

          the guilt that followed it? Each day I’m reminded of

          my failure and what I should have done differently.

Torment: You’re the reason it happened. You were there

          for it all, and you messed up. You made the wrong

          choices, and now you have to live with them. Forever.

Students: But why are you here? Why me?! Please, just leave

          me alone.

Torment: I’m here so you never forget it. You deserve to

          be in pain for everything you did. Even as a child you

          couldn’t do anything right. You just sat there and let

          him leave.

Students: I was only twelve, I didn’t know any better!

Torment: What happened to him was your fault.

SCENE 2:

(Set change to Living Room, Sibling Enters)

Torment: That night was like every other night for you,

          wasn’t it?

Student 2: There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

Student 1: How was I supposed to know?

Shame: Maybe when he walked in, and the first thing

          that came out of his mouth was -

Sibling: You know I love you right?

Shame: And you just brushed it off with a -

Students: I’m not an idiot you know.

Sibling: I know that kiddo, that’s because I keep you in check.

          You wouldn’t be able to find your head if I wasn’t here

          to help out.

Students: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, my super popular big brother

          is totally my saviour and I couldn’t function without him.

          (Seriously) What do you want?

Torment: He wanted to be stupid -

Sibling: I’m heading out with the car to a party. A bunch of

          friends need someone to be the boring parent of the

          group and I drew the short straw.

Students: And where do I come in?

Sibling: I told mom and dad that I was heading over to a

          friend’s place to study. I need you to cover for me and

          play along.

Students: What’s in it for me?

Sibling: I’ll take you to the next baseball game I go to. Maybe

even buy you a hat.

Students: Deal!

Shame: You should have said no.

Sibling: Twelve year old siblings always fall for that. And that -

          (Students and Sibling hug) Is why I love you.

(Sibling Exits)

Students: Love you too, numskull!

Torment: The last thing you called him was a numskull.

          How ironic.

Students: How could I have known?! He was sober. He knew

          what he was doing. It was the other one, the drunk driver

          that hit him off the bridge.

Hope: Exactly. You couldn’t have known. You loved him and he

          knew that. He wouldn’t blame you and no one else does.

          It was out of your control.

Shame: He left because you didn’t stop him. He died

          because all you thought of were damned sports tickets.

          If you’d kept him home he would still be around. But no,

          You just let him go.

Torment: Instead, you let your brother die.

Student 1: I couldn’t stop him!

Student 2: It wasn’t my fault.

Shame: How about what came next?

SCENE 3:

(Mom and Dad Enter)

Mom: Darling, we need to talk.

Dad: We’ve been talking a lot about it, and we think it’s time

          you knew.

Students: Knew what? What’s wrong?

Mom: Your father and I are getting a divorce.

Student 2: What do you mean?

Student 1: Does this mean we’re moving?

Dad: Oh no, no. You’ll be staying with me. No need for a new

          school, you won’t be leaving your friends. Your mom will

          see you whenever she wants, she just won’t live here.

Students: Why is she leaving? Aren’t we a family? Why does

          she have to go?

Torment: Are you kidding? You stopped being a family after you

          killed your brother. After you broke your parents’ hearts.

Hope: It’ll be okay. We can get through this.

Shame: Why are you so pathetic?!

Dad: It’s been a tough year for us since your brother passed

          away. We’ve tried to make it work, but it hasn’t helped.

          Your mom and I fight -

Student 1: You don’t think I can hear you guys? You two are

          always screaming, always mad.

Student 2: People fight, so what? What can I do to make things

          right again?

Mom: This isn’t something you can fix honey. Your dad and I,

         we just aren’t right for each other anymore.

Hope: That doesn’t mean you aren’t right for them. You’re still

          their child and they love you.

Torment: (turns on Student 1) They don’t love you! If they really

          did love you, they wouldn’t be doing this.

Student 1: I’ll clean more, I’ll do my homework.

Dad: You don’t need to -

Student 1: I don’t need an allowance, or a new stereo or anything.

Dad: Please -

Student 1: I’ll be more like him if I have to -

Mom: Enough! You have no right to bring him up like that.

Student 1: No right? He was my brother! I talked to him before

          he left, and I let him go. I could have stopped him. He’s

          dead because of me!

Torment: You drove them apart. You’re the reason they separated.

Hope: No! That isn’t true!

Shame: Are you serious? Can’t you see? You’re nothing but

          a screw up. You’ll never be as good as your brother was.

Student 1: Don’t you think I get that? They fought because he

          was gone. They left each other because I didn’t stop

          him. Are you happy with yourself? Are you finished

          with tormenting me?

Torment: Not even close. You’ve only felt the loss in your

          life. It’s time for the first and only love you ever had.

Students: Please, no-

SCENE 4:

(Set change to Hallway)

Shame: (In a mocking tone) It was like any other typical

          love story. You were 14, minding your own business, all

          deep in thought when you got bumped in the hallway.

(Crush bumps into Student)

          You get onto a knee to help clean their things up and

          you both reach for the same book. Your hands touch,

          you meet each other’s eyes, and all they say is -

Crushes: Hey.

Shame: And all you can muster up is a -

Students: Hey.

Crushes: I - I’m sorry I bumped into you.

Students: No it’s fine, really. Honestly, I should have been

          paying more attention.

Crushes: More attention to what?

Students: Well, more attention to you.

Crushes: (Flustered) I - I should get to class.

Students: Will I see you around?

Crushes: (Pauses) If you pay enough attention.

(Crushes smile and Exit)

Student 1: They stole my heart right then and there.

Student 2: I met them in the hallway all the time after that.

Students: Sometimes we’d talk about the day. But sometimes

            we just -

(Crush Enters)

            Payed attention.

Shame: They consumed your life, that’s what they did.

Student 1: (defensive) It wasn’t like that.

Student 2: We fell for each other.

Hope: You mean like your first dance, that slow song

           and the moment was just perfect?

Student 2: (happily remembering) Or our first date

          when I gave her flowers. She loved them.

Hope: (smiling) And we won’t forget that night under the tree,

          little fireflies moving through the branches.

Crushes: I wish it could be like this forever. Just you and me,

          here.

Students: I’d like that.

Crushes: Thank you.

Students: For what?

Crushes: For paying attention. 

(Student and Crush kiss)

Shame: But that’s just it, you didn’t. You didn’t pay

          attention to how they felt or what they needed. Your

          constant complaining about your brother and how -

Students: He died....

Student 1: And it was my fault.

Shame: Or your parents and how -

Students: They split up...

Student 1: because of me.

Shame: You needed people to pity you. But who wants

           someone that is constantly whimpering like a wounded

           dog? You drove them away.

Hope: Don’t forget how happy you two were. Even through the

          pain, joy came too. The time you had with them was

          special.

Shame: You don’t deserve to be happy after everything you’ve done.

(Crush Exits)

Students: I thought they understood me. I trusted them and tried

          to be open.

Torment: You threw your pain onto them. All your faults and

          flaws. You’re so messed up, no one could love you.

Hope: No more of this, please.

Shame: You let them down. And they aren’t the only one.

Students: Anything but this -

Shame: You also let down the one friend that ever

          stuck around.

SCENE 5:

(Set change to Dirty Living Room)

Friend: I’m here for you, you know.

Students: What am I going to do now that they’re gone?

Friend: You could spend more time with me. I mean, if you

          want to.

Students: All I want right now is them back.

Friend: Oh. Well, yeah -

Students: Like what can I do? I lost the only one that cared

           about me. They were the only person I cared about.

Friend: What about me?

Students: You don’t count, you’re just a friend.

Friend: I have feelings too you know.

Students: But what I’m feeling is worse. I’m alone and in pain.

Friend: And how do you know that’s not what I’m feeling too?

Torment: Can you believe this? He’s too worried about himself

          to think about your pain, your feelings.

Students: You always have to make everything about you, don’t

          you? If you love attention so much, jump off a bridge.

           That’d help.

Friend: That’s been on my mind lately.

Students: Then what are you waiting for? A going away party?

Friend: A friend to talk me out of it...

Students: Well there aren’t any around here.

Friend: I get that now.

Hope: Stop! You're hurting and lashing out.

Student 2: Hey wait! I’m sorry, I’m just having trouble right now.

          What’s going on?

Friend: I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I…. I’ve just been

          struggling a lot with things at home..

(Students group back up, Friend Exits)

Shame: You pushed your only friend away. Pushed them

          over the edge. Literally.

Hope: They didn’t know!

Shame: What didn’t they know?

Hope: That they were serious…

Torture: So what?! You don’t tell someone to kill themselves.

          It isn’t right. They may even go through with it because

          of you.

Student 1: I wish I could take it back -

Shame: But you can’t, can you?! You told your friend to

          die, and they did it.

Student 1: I’m sorry!

Torture: It isn’t us you should be asking for forgiveness.

SCENE 6:

(Clear set)

Students: I didn’t mean to ignore you, I - I was just so caught

           up in everything that was happening. I’m so sorry…

Sibling: (Sibling Enters, tattered clothing and bloody) Hey there,

           Kiddo. Miss me?

Students: Please let it end, I’ll do anything.

Sibling: Something you could have done, was save me. But

          you failed at that. All you wanted were sport tickets, and

          a stupid hat. Well here - (Throws baseball hat) At least I

          keep my word.

Students: I don’t want a hat. I just want to be a family again.

Mom: (Mom and Dad Enters) You mean the family that you

          drove apart? The people that were there for you and you

          just messed everything up for us?

Students: I didn’t mean to drive you two apart, I should have been

          a better child.

Crush: You should have been better at a lot of things. Under-

          standing other people, not trying to make them pity you -

Friend: Actually caring about your friends. At least the ones

          you don’t make commit suicide. But we’re just friends, we

          don’t count. Isn’t that right?

Students: I didn’t mean it like that!

Shame: It doesn’t matter how you meant it. What you did

          caused these things to happen. Your choices in life, what

          you say and what you do, can save or ruin lives. You just

          chose to ruin them all.

Students: I’m sorry!

(Everyone begins to get louder,

Characters move closer to the student)

Sibling: You should have stopped me. (Repeat until alarm)

          Mom & Dad: You’re the reason he’s dead. (Repeat until alarm)

                    Crush: You didn’t care about me. (Repeat until alarm)

                              Friend: I’m gone because of you. (Repeat until alarm)

(Alarm clock, everyone goes silent, 

lights out except on Student)

Students: Torture is the worst thing in life - and it’s my mind doing it.

(Lights out)

END

As far as the eye can see,

Not a bird, stone or tree.

The clouds were a new sea,

Up here, we were all free.

I was on a journey to a new place,

Brand new people, brand new space.

My only company was a camera case, 

And some luggage I'll have to chase.

What will I find in the clouds?

Can I make my parents proud?

Off on my own from a little town,

High in the clouds, I'll never come down.

     Why do we love? A love is stronger than difference, stronger than negativity, stronger than any other force on this earth. That is why love can be so dangerous: because nothing is more beautiful or more cruel. 

     If hurt, your wounds will eventually heal. Yes, there may be a scar, but that scar is the only one like it in existence. No one else experienced that feeling exactly the way you did. It is a part of you, an will forever grow as you grow. 

     Love has damaged me, but I do know; it has made me stronger than before.

     I understand how little I affect in this world compared to others. I'm not famous or well liked. I have little money, and even fewer things to spend it on. Moving mountains is an impossible task; I can barely lift myself out of bed sometimes. However, I do it anyway. 

     I may affect very little in the world but there are still some things that I can change, like making someone's day just a fraction better. I have the ability to be a great man known by few instead of a good man known by many. What little money I have, it can go towards future opportunities and possibilities. Moving mountains is the Earth's job; my job is to share what I know, teach what I can, and learn from others. That's what all of us can do.

     I don't kid myself in saying that I'll be the greatest at anything. Instead, I would just like to be good in everything I put my heart into. Who knows? Maybe the money from this challenge will help me fix up my car, maybe it'll go towards a new tie for that job interview in a few weeks. Or maybe it'll go towards my sister, who needs the money more than I do. What matters is that the people around you don't weigh your self worth; you do that yourself.

To be deaf in a world without sound,

Is it deaf, or merely profound?

The birds chirp and the wind blows,

Though nobody hears it, no one knows.

A wave on the shore can crash,

Swords can swing and slash.

Sprinters can leap and dash,

Lightning can strike in a flash.

What does it mean in a world without sound,

To be deaf whilst walking around?

In the end, my inexperience probably shows,

For silence is never heard when reading the words of Prose.