I loved you like no other,

so when you say I left because my love for you was nonexsistent,

I can’t help but call you selfish,

because in my eyes

I loved you unconditionally,

while you failed to love me at all

And for when the times get this tough for you,

when the pain you feel is so unbearable

and you no longer feel as if you're living,

I only wish I could hold you until you fall asleep,

to where the pain that makes you suffer becomes numb,

to when all of your pain has been transfered and added to my pain,

so you won't feel so alone in such a dark space.

Because I would take any amount of pain to make you believe that this life you have is worth living,

to make you believe that one person loves you when you think no one does,

to show you all the people you affect in such a positive way and that you're not worthless like you say.

You're a fighter.

your love looked like roses and smelled like honey, but

your love felt like thorns and smelled of rotten strawberries

i thought you were the key to my happiness, but

i guess you are the key to my sadness

i thought you were my everything, but

it turns out, you arent anything of mine nor ever will be

i sit and wonder if you will talk to me or notice me, but

of course, you are always focused on the much prettier girls,

the girls who have the nicer house, nicer clothes, nicer body, etc.

you've taught me that love sucks and that i do not need it

but in order for me to feel happy, i need someone else to love me, while i can't.

i need someone else to provide the things i can not

as in love, happiness, self-esteem, courage, and much more.

it's sad that i always go to the person who cares least about me when i am feeling blue,

i call out to a person who doesn't notice me when i want them to,

everytime i panic, i find myself wondering off looking for you, but

you will always be interested in other things that are not me

and i have to be at the point where it feels like rock bottom for me to notice that

and if i could just give myself a heads up, i would because being at rock bottom

feels like you are never going to get out.

to the people who saved me when i couldn't save myself:

I can't express how thankful i am for you to be there for me when it was so unexpected for me to be drowing in a hole of nothingness. you might not know it, but your really saved me from something i've always been scared to face. i guess you can say you pushed me to the point where i wasn't scared to face it anymore. for the handful of people that left my life but helped me through a time where everything was numb, you are the ones who helped me the most, the ones who told me everytime you fall, do not let it know that you have almost given up, for there would be no reason to try. you were the lighthouse to my ship that would've sank, but you were there every step of the way, your light turned on the moment i almost broke in half, in some way, somehow you knew exactly when to turn on your light. so i thank you. you were blessings in disguise and i'm so sorry i'm just now noticing that when you left my side months ago.

Love, always.

i’ve sat around for 8 months, having a pity party for one

wondering when you’d show your soft side again and want to hold me

you were too afraid to tell me you were done for good

so instead, you lead me on

instead, you gave me every intention to think we would soon be one like we once were

instead of telling me, instead of confessing how you really felt

you kept me along with a rope around my waist

until your new girl had to be the one to let me go, not you.

you were too afraid to break my heart

little did you know, you’ve broken it before

im afraid im wasting my good years being mad over you,

being mad over what you have put me through,

im wasting time, tears and love over you

but then there are days where im missing where you were mine

missing the days where you were my sunshine

all i see is rain

all i feel is pain

time is taking it day by day

to heal me from the wounds you've made

You hurt me by what you take,

take advantage of me, each time I break

you've got me thinking, maybe so

is it so bad if i leave you alone?

to finally take care of the wounds you've shown

so patheticlly, I fix them alone

I call your name, what seems to be a thousand times

but I called a thousand times too many

every call went to voicemail, as if i was calling you on the phone

after awhile I began to think that you were imaginary,

that i made us up in my head

but then I saw you one day and I gave you one last call

and when you didn’t answer

I finally understood the answer all along

I am afraid to love again

I am afraid to share myself with someone again

Opening up has became my number one fear,

When i used to freely let people in

Once you have been broken by someone who you deeply trusted and loved

You will eventually see life in a different perspective

You will be petrified to give your heart to someone

No matter what they promise

Friends nor Lovers

No one ever stays as long as promised