Breathe. Breathe. In and out.

That's it. Isn't that simple?

The hard bit is done.

Oops, it isn't done.

My bad, it's puberty time.

Angst. Pain. Love. Acne.

Oh to be adult,

To drink, to vote, and pay rent

Where the fuck am I?

Middle age, wise one

Now I don't care anymore,

Shit my back is sore

Wrinkles tell the truth,

Came from nothing, going back

to dust and ashes.

To wake up with a flame,

Not big, but small,

I am an addict, a minion,

I need it, I hate it,

I have no peace,

Yet in it I find rest,

My legs are restless,

My head is buzzing,

My every breath eager,

Yearning to get a hit,

Without it I am incomplete,

yet with it I burn,

The hustle, the drive,

The need to be alive,

The thirst to live just one more day,

Is my everything

They were to meet behind the sprawling tree with the crazy buttress roots. It was dark and private there. She loved that place. Mysterious and ominous. He was anxious to meet her after their first coffee date. Dressed in his black shirt, he was sure he was looking sexy. Their meeting place suggested he might get lucky. He passed the groundsman fixing a fence, but there was no one else around.

She was already there when he ambled there, a bit worried he was being punked. But a smile spread over his face as he caught her sitting on one of the massive protruding roots. She looked like she belonged in a book, ethereal, dressed in red.

The old University campus was really old. Stone buildings which were dark and musty, colonial architecture with gargoyles on the roof. It looked even darker after a rain shower, but the lush green lining every avenue gave it a certain serenity. She was always drawn to this campus, but the tree was her absolute favourite. She spent a lot of time here, but to her it suggested romance.

She greeted him warmly and they sat on one of the widest roots. She spoke easily, all the while looking into his eyes. It was unnerving to most men, but he could not help but feel a certain thrill. She was beautiful and there was electricity between them. They spoke for a long time and she gently touched his arm once, then caressed his back. He felt more and more at ease. They nestled against the tree trunk and they were in an embrace. She looked in his eyes once more and their lips touched. He felt like he was floating. He wanted her to be only his. They were locked in their kiss for a long time. The leaves over head rustled softly and the old tree sighed. Finally she pulled away slowly and looked at him. He looked dazed. His eyes were glazed over. He rose unsteadily and teetered a little bit. She stayed seated, smiling contentedly and breathing deeply. She had got what she needed, his essence from his soul. And it had been easy, his soul was quite shallow. Yes, she was satisfied. He walked away as if in a trance. She looked up at the tree and rested a while.

It was reported that a man in a black shirt had drowned in the waves off the bridge in the bay.

A young man dressed in a blue shirt stopped the groundsman to ask for directions to the old tree with the giant roots. As he walked towards the gnarly giant, he immediately spotted her looking divine in red.

They were to meet behind the sprawling tree with the crazy buttress roots. It was dark and private there. She loved that place. Mysterious and ominous. He was anxious to meet her after their first coffee date. Dressed in his black shirt, he was sure he was looking sexy. Their meeting place suggested he might get lucky. He passed the groundsman fixing a fence, but there was no one else around.

She was already there when he ambled there, a bit worried he was being punked. But a smile spread over his face as he caught her sitting on one of the massive protruding roots. She looked like she belonged in a book, ethereal, dressed in red.

The old University campus was really old. Stone buildings which were dark and musty, colonial architecture with gargoyles on the roof. It looked even darker after a rain shower, but the lush green lining every avenue gave it a certain serenity. She was always drawn to this campus, but the tree was her absolute favourite. She spent a lot of time here, but to her it suggested romance.

She greeted him warmly and they sat on one of the widest roots. She spoke easily, all the while looking into his eyes. It was unnerving to most men, but he could not help but feel a certain thrill. She was beautiful and there was electricity between them. They spoke for a long time and she gently touched his arm once, then caressed his back. He felt more and more at ease. They nestled against the tree trunk and they were in an embrace. She looked in his eyes once more and their lips touched. He felt like he was floating. He wanted her to be only his. They were locked in their kiss for a long time. The leaves over head rustled softly and the old tree sighed. Finally she pulled away slowly and looked at him. He looked dazed. His eyes were glazed over. He rose unsteadily and teetered a little bit. She stayed seated, smiling contentedly and breathing deeply. She had got what she needed, his essence from his soul. And it had been easy, his soul was quite shallow. Yes, she was satisfied. He walked away as if in a trance. She looked up at the tree and rested a while.

It was reported that a man in a black shirt had drowned in the waves off the bridge in the bay.

A young man dressed in a blue shirt stopped the groundsman to ask for directions to the old tree with the giant roots. As he walked towards the gnarly giant, he immediately spotted her looking divine in red.

The hospital bed felt icy cold and rock hard. She knew it was time. Ahalya felt the hem of her saree caress her ankle and then it didn't anymore. The state run hospital was thronging with people but Ahalya felt a calm she hadn't ever known before. As her body let go of the life force, her mind was suddenly more aware. The lights overhead made her wispy grey hair shimmer. She sighed and let go of her body. Her breath slowed and her eyes began to shut. The door opened and a light gust of air hit her face. It took her back so suddenly she hardly knew what she was thinking of. It was like a dream but it was real. The sea breeze had been thick with the smell of fish as she almost felt the oily plank of wood on which she sat. A docked fishing boat called Kohinoor was always her favourite place to be hide from her raucous brothers and sisters, her sanctum, her place to think of anything that she wanted to think about. But she was here now on the day when she had seen Raja for the very first time. His bare chocolate torso glistened in the afternoon sun as he walked towards his boat named Darya. He was tall and lanky, and Ahalya felt a burning curiosity about the rough tattoos on his forearm. She was sure he ate a lot of fish because he was somewhat fish-like himself. It was her belief that if one ate a lot of something, they would become more like that food themselves. Ahalya turned her head towards him as he walked suddenly towards her without warning. His eyes were calm like the deepest part of the ocean. It was when she looked into his eyes that she gave him her soul. Their courtship had been more of companionship as there was no pretence, no awkwardness. She was unafraid with him. Unafraid of being judged, unafraid of being wrong or silly. They sat for hours on the boat Darya, in silence, in conversation. Their friendship was their secret though. She was the daughter of a high caste family and he a fisherman's son. Their union would cause a riot in the village. They were soulmates if there ever was such a thing.

Ahalya turned 16 and her father married her off to the son of another high caste family. The man she married was a practical one and their transactions were purely need based. Women in that household were not accorded much importance or indeed credited with having any kind of intelligence. She was to know nothing but the confines of the kitchen and bore them 4 sons. In quiet afternoons in her kitchen she often thought of Raja and the simple peace of those days in the boat. Her figure bore testament to the frugal life she led and raised her children as the diligent wife and mother that she was. The years passed and her children grew old enough to only think of their mother occasionally. The afternoons became quiet and lonely for Ahalya and she yearned for some companionship. She had no friends or relatives who talked to her. Gradually the loneliness became unbearable. Ahalya had cried every night for months and no one heard. In a house full of people, no one saw. One day, she walked absent-mindedly towards the seaside. As she ambled down to the water, a boat moored on the jetty bobbed against the waves. A lone figure sat beside it in the sand. As she walked to him. she knew him right away. The eyes were ones that had entranced her before. Not sure what to do, she went and sat beside him quietly. He looked at her and the deep eyes flickered. They sat in silence till the sun set, neither willing to break away from the other. Then on, she spent several evenings with Raja and it soothed her soul. There was a peace she had found and her life became tolerable again. Time melted and flowed into the waves, and so months went by. Until one evening, Raja didn't come. Her whole being crumbled a little every day when she went to find him absent. Finally, she gave up going unable to fathom what could have happened. She was so deeply saddened, that she was already mourning when her husband died of cholera. Now a widow, she fell into the shadows even further. Her sons had made a living for themselves in the city and seldom visited her. The day one of the neighbours carried her away to the hospital was the first time she had seen her eldest son and daughter-in-law in months. The doctors pronounced her to be in the last stages of some awful disease, but she did not think that is what was taking her life. It was heartbreak. She wished she could have felt the serenity of the eyes of the fisherman's son, on the oily fishing boat one last time.

1. File open. Save as. Power cut.

2. The door opened, he walked away.

3. It slithered in while I slept.

As evolution shaped our current form, various parts came together to make a functional whole. While one can be alive without certain bits in our bodies, it usually takes all of our organs to live. The question often arises whether we are our bodies or brain because there is a certain degree of redundancy in our organs while the brain is irreplaceable (mostly). But the brain is also an organ like the others so what makes it special? It is said that it processes external stimuli and converts them into perception, perspective, emotions, reactions and a plethora of responses. But what if this is done by all the organs in tandem with the brain? The stimuli and resultant reactions are all a function of energy, be it mechanical, chemical or electric. This makes me believe that we are neither the brain nor the body, but we are energy. The manifestation of the summative energies is us. Energy cannot be bracketed in any categories, like positive or negative alone. These categories are relative to the person describing them. And for the same reason no one is entirely one type of person, the various energies that are changing within them at that time make them the person they are at that moment. As the law of conservation of energy states, energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but only changes from one form to another. I think we are a sum total of the various forms of energy that are manifested at that moment in time and space. The body and the brain are matter by themselves. Unless animated by energy they are just matter. So our brain is our body and our mind is what makes us human. The brain is a thing while the mind is abstract. It is energy.

As evolution shaped our current form, various parts came together to make a functional whole. While one can be alive without certain bits in our bodies, it usually takes all of our organs to live. The question often arises whether we are our bodies or brain because there is a certain degree of redundancy in our organs while the brain is irreplaceable (mostly). But the brain is also an organ like the others so what makes it special? It is said that it processes external stimuli and converts them into perception, perspective, emotions, reactions and a plethora of responses. But what if this is done by all the organs in tandem with the brain? The stimuli and resultant reactions are all a function of energy, be it mechanical, chemical or electric. This makes me believe that we are neither the brain nor the body, but we are energy. The manifestation of the summative energies is us. Energy cannot be bracketed in any categories, like positive or negative alone. These categories are relative to the person describing them. And for the same reason no one is entirely one type of person, the various energies that are changing within them at that time make them the person they are at that moment. As the law of conservation of energy states, energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but only changes from one form to another. I think we are a sum total of the various forms of energy that are manifested at that moment in time and space. The body and the brain are matter by themselves. Unless animated by energy they are just matter. So our brain is our body and our mind is what makes us human. The brain is a thing while the mind is abstract. It is energy.

The smell of fish was emanating from every side, clinging on the muggy sea air on the little boat. They sat at opposite ends to cross the creek on their way to work. His arms were drenched in the sweat of his neighbour and her shins were chafing against a fisherwoman's loaded wicker basket. A swift breeze suddenly cooled their cheeks and their eyes met for a moment. Her jet black eyes made him catch his breath, his curly hair flying in the breeze made her heart jump. He wondered what she was thinking, did she even notice him? How could she in this grimy cargo hold. She thought about what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair. The boat lurched to a halt all of a sudden and they caught each others eye again. The passengers all hustled off the boat in a frenzy and they too got up to leave. Their arms brushed in the stampede as they got shoved off. She went back to her children and he went back to his wife.

Am I what you make of me? I am often defined using labels. My relationships, my vocation, my hobbies, my language, caste, creed, colour, race. Some of these were given to me the moment I came into the world. Some were later bestowed upon me. Some were given without consent. Others merely pasted for convenience to make it easier to categorize me. Strip me of all of these, does nothing remain behind? Who decides what defines me? My experiences shape my perception, my actions give me my character. I am defined by my choices. I am defined by my potential. I am defined by my energy and strength. I am boundless in everything, yet I define my own boundaries. I am but a drop in the ocean but I am the ocean itself, for without the drop the ocean is nothing. I redefine my being all the time. It is this quality that makes me the person I am and always aspire to be.