When am I gonna learn?

All I do is hide and run

I’ve made so many mistakes

Not once, not twice, but feels like a million takes

At a standstill, hourglass filled with frozen mist

Ain’t a metamorphosis

Losing grip, can’t get a hold of this

Scene by scene with the same rollercoaster twist

At the bottom of an avalanche

Confusion led my soul down a deserted path

Shout out to the tribute to my past

That everlasting love never lasts

Breaking free from my shadow, striding through shattered glass

Walk of shame, what have I accomplished?

Can’t be tamed, walking side by side with my mirrored accomplice

Stepped off for a minute, now I’m back on this

No I can’t quit

Give me just one more hit

Maybe this time it’ll feel right

One more high

I have to know what it feels like

Again and again till there’s nothing left inside

Looking backwards for an escape, but there’s nowhere left to hide

I got to face it now

I’m shaking my knees

Trying to get up somehow

Got to stand on my feet

I’m a hollow tree

Digging my roots deep beneath

All I ever wanted was your happiness

Guess it hurts knowing it won’t be with me

Who would’ve thought that happily ever after would be our worst enemy

The struggle to keep fantasizing in this reality

But the truth hits hard

The meaning of life, our path, our purpose is what’s tearing us apart

Tore right down the middle of our hearts

Painted on a canvas by a delusional start

Our story embodied a devastating piece of art

It hurts me, I don’t want to let you go

But I cannot see you hurt anymore

I’ve been selfish with my feelings

I’ve been waiting, I’ve been wanting, I’ve been needing

I’ve been on the floor kneeling and bleeding

I’ve only ever prayed for someone like you to walk into my world

You walked in, I couldn’t imagine my life without you

My prayers were answered, you became my world

We became one, now split into two

No matter how much I love you

No matter how much I want to marry you

I have to face the truth

I have to force myself

I have to get over you

I’m the one trying to hold you back

I’m the one you wish you never crossed paths

With,

Making you feel all these emotions you wished you hadn’t

I’m fighting these feelings now

Trying to get these demons out

Trying to hide behind the mirror

We are one, but I’m trying to get you to see much clearer

That 20/20 vision

Seeing past your own reflection

Greener on the other side, what your eyes have been missing

Deepest oceans in my eyes, I’ve just been missing you

Painted in black and white, not in coloured hue

The way I am is not what you wanted

I’ll never change myself, all our options have been exhausted

Standing away from you, my patience is weighted

Fall out of love with me, my river is tainted

Effortless connection with the blessings of Satan

Poisonous venom without an antidote

Save yourself now, we are already a sinking boat

Don’t let me linger around like a ghost

Racing back and forth with putting that ring on my finger

Parasite acting as the host

Get me out of here

I want to get out of here

I want to go somewhere where it’s clear

Blue skies

Beach vibes

Dark shades

Red lips

Peaches

No reason to fly

Afraid of heights

Way too good to be true

Way too real to be false

My past had me searching for those faults

Aren’t we all looking for what would remind us of home or how home should be

Defined by those four walls in our minds we weave

Trust and belief

Twists and turns made us believe

Finding that bittersweet release

Wanting to break free

The heart mimics our complex labyrinth

Conditioned mechanism of endless refinement

Suppressing emotions into solitary confinement

Blindly paints perfection on a virtual canvas

Let go of what doesn’t exist

To find a temporary fix

Sweet apple I tried to restrict

But, I’m hypnotized

Mesmerized

Not health conscious, when my health was on the line

Life froze in time

Lifeline not in reach

Under a sheet of ice, I’m banging, trying to breach

Scrunching the pain

Building my strength

Lost in the sea of distorted limbo

I’ve become my own superhero

Surrounded by all this negativity

All we talk about are problems, where’s the serenity

For our world, this has become a normality

That’s why we bleed, not heal reality

Everyone is getting diagnosed with anxiety

Why do we overwork ourselves

Go through this repetitive hell

End up in our respective cell

Like cattle we respond with our receptive bell

Hello...hello I cannot hear you, I think the reception is dead

Don’t want to argue no more, your perception I dread

‘Change for the better’, that’s one lucid dream that helps us sleep in our pendulum beds

My hands wrapped around my stomach

Clenching onto that heavy breath

Trying not to swallow, tight neck

What is this feeling?

This is new

Feeding onto my darkened hue

Poisoning my soul

Spiraling down a funneled hole

Feeling half of a whole

Never do I want to feel this feeling again

Fetus position, legs up bent

Repeating the same song in my head

She refuses to leave, she refuses to end.

Chase the sunrise

Follow the palm trees

Sink into the beach

Race the waves

Perceive the clouds

Dance in the rain

Cuddle next to snow

Overcome the mountain

Challenge the sunset

Maybe there is a possibility that you could virtually disappear from his / her life

Your text messages

Your pictures

Your social media websites and apps

Perhaps even your phone number

All virtually deleted

But, if they care

One place which may be the hardest

Sometimes even impossible to erase you from

Is the heart